Monday, April 23, 2012

Pinterest: DO NOT DIY

Oh, Pinterest, how I love you.  You are much better than Facebook, so entertaining, a veritable fount of informative, crafty, imaginative, impossible ideas that no one could ever achieve in even 100 life times.  You fascinate me, and you fuel my dreams of becoming an organized, crafty, happily married, chef goddess with creatively inspired imaginary children.

You are also an endless source of humor and information, like the entire internet wrapped up neatly in one little board.  A catch-all of sorts.  Like the WebMD or Wikipedia of craft...or, in oft cases, crap.

I submit to you the following Pinterest Fails, all culled from the DIY/Crafts category:

(Sidenote: fount? oft? culled?  Check me out, I'm all poetical and shit)

The enthusiastic Pinner proclaims this to be "cute and fun"!!!  I proclaim it to be "cheap trash I forgot to recycle".

It's painted paper plates on a empty paper towel roll, lady.  FYI, Walmart has a ring toss on sale for $5.  Just saying.  It's recyclable too, and doesn't look like you pulled it from a dumpster, so everybody, including the environment, wins!

Question: What the FUCK is up with people making their own god damn footwear by using "repurposed" materials?  Is the economy really that bad, or are you just really that fucking bored?

And once again, for future reference, before posting pictures of your stank ass feet, make sure you get a proper pedicure, because let's face it, feet are ugly.  And granted, the ribbon girl obviously got her toenails did before the foot fetish photo, but that fucking blue strip of satin might as well be a rubber band.  She's got it cinched so tight she's cutting off the circulation to her cankles.

Speaking of cutting off circulation:

Hey now! What the...why exactly is this on the DIY board?  Obviously, this is the very opposite of a DIY project.  Turns out, it actually leads to a blog about learning all natural pain management techniques without the use of medications, but still...quite unexpected and startling when pinned next to a pic of a cute baby in a knit acorn hat.

Speaking of babies:

This is obviously not a cute baby in an acorn hat, but I was okay with that, because I figured it was mis-categorized and supposed to be on the Humor board, so I clicked the link, expecting to enjoy a hearty laugh at the expense of children and parents alike.

In fact, I'll break my own rule and post the link to the actual blog so you can read it for yourself.'s NOT a joke?  Interesting.  Then why the hell heck (whoopsie, language!) would you post such a hilarious picture?

After reading it, I finally understood why it was tagged under the DIY heading.  It's how to raise your own serial killer.  I get it!

Touché, unintentionally ironic Pinner.  Touché indeed.

Honorable mention on this edition of Pinterest Fail goes to Mrs. Michelle Seigler for her "Make Your Own Baby Wipes" pin.

Yes, I've read the step by step instructions.  Let's go ahead and admit that there's no way you'll ever do this yourself.  Besides...there's probably a sale on baby wipes at Target, and I'm sure that finding a Target is way more convenient than finding your own coconut oil.  You're still a great mom.  ;-)

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