LEEP of Faith? No, Death, Definitely Death

So, results back from the doc...

Not bad enough for the insurance to cover the hysterectomy, but enough to cover a LEEP procedure...which yay! Not cancer.  But boo! I could have to possibly have to get this done AGAIN down the road, and let's be honest, it sucks ass trying to get time off from my job, and really not looking forward to seeing the gyno every six months, so quite frankly, I was hoping to get everything ripped the fuck out.

I'm never having kids, no plans to EVER, so why not? Stupid insurance; Doc Awesomesauce says that it wouldn't cover a hysterectomy at this point; test results were abnormal, but not THAT abnormal (obviously there are levels of abnormal in the medical field) which is too bad;  I was looking forward to 4-6 weeks off from work, with people taking care of me, and pain pills.  No such luck.  Back to work in a day or two, which sucks, because I have no sick time left, and trying to schedule off time from work from what is basically a call center is hard as shit.

But whatever.  I'm going to ask Dr. Awesomesauce to recommend that I'm off at least 6 days for recovery...that way I will get paid.  Yes, I'm  working the system, but I'm also a big fat wimp when it comes to pain, so knowing me, I will be wallowing in bed for that long after this procedure.  Because IT SOUNDS HIDEOUS.

But it's not cancer. So that's a plus.


Pre-surgery: Oct 10, actual surgery Oct 15.  Whining and moaning about it: for weeks and weeks after.

Meanwhile, it's almost Friday, and College Football Saturday is almost upon us, so just one more day until the weekend.  It's weird, I've been feeling strangely sad and alone and missing the Rottenator, which is VERY weird, because he's been here and stuff, but I don't know...maybe it's his preoccupation with Grand Theft Auto 5 or maybe it's just the state of mind I've been in, but I've been feeling VERY alone lately.  Doesn't help that we work different shifts, I guess, but it is truly an odd sort of feeling for me, because I usually love my alone time.  Ah, well. Hormones, I guess.  Zoloft cannot take care of everything.  But I'm feeling okay.

Oh, and seriously, why do I like Nicki Minaj? Someone explain to me why I find her so catchy because she is my:

Mood Ring(Tone) Of the Day:

This also brought me great joy this week; it's just fun, and I adore Stephan Merchant.

Thanks for keeping up with me; I'll now go lurk around and keep up with all of you...

Confidence, I Needs Some

So tell me..what does it feel like to be semi-successful at a job that you hate? Is it worth it? All of my reviews and call monitoring have been positive (aka "Kathleen is awesome say what?!") but still..the calls they don't hear are filled with self doubt and upper lip sweat.  *sigh*

I hate that this job is affecting me so deeply, but on the other hand, I blame it on the weather and the lack of vitamin D.

That's right people, it has rained 43 fucking days in a row.  No joke; it's probably rained 2 inches in the time it took me to compose this sentence.  How do you lot in the Pacific NW of NA or in the UK even deal with this?  My hair is protesting.

Anyhoo, I know that I should post more often, but there is actually nothing going on other than my daily routine.

I guess I should say:

New Girl: It's on Netflix now; I really REALLY wanted to like this show, but alas, I do not.  It is no Buffy or even Freaks and Geeks...or even Bones...or god forbid, How I Met Your Mother.

 PS for the last one: I forgive you, Willow...and Doogie...moving on...

I'm going to Dragoncon in Atl in September with my family and I need to pick out an appropriate costume. We are going as characters in the Whedonverse, so if you have any suggestions for any costumes for middle-aged overweight red headed women, I'm all ears...and fat rolls.

Meanwhile the Rottenator recently reminded me of this song because he stated that the Animals were the best British-invasion group to ever hit the US...above the Beatles and the Rolling Stones, but you know what, I could not fight him too much because the Animals did rock...

Thus behold, my Mood Ring(tone) Of The Day:  and btw, is it just me or does the lead singer Eric Burdon remind you of a young Gary Oldman?  I'm just saying..of course, I also think that Gary looks like Sid Vicious so who am I to judge....

Fatty Boombalatty

I am so frustrated with myself.  I had at one point gotten down to an acceptable 155 lbs that I was quite happy with, but over the course of the months of having a miserable job wherein all I do is sit on my ass, I have managed to gain back 25 lbs in a relatively short period of time.

I have had a life long struggle with my weight.  And this 25 pounds just discourages me and depresses me even further because I feel like I am losing the tenuous self control I had on myself.  And it just seemed to happen overnight.

Logically, I know what to do.  Exercise, and eating healthy.  Believe me, I know.  I have spent most of my life researching both.  I know exactly what I should do; it's just having the motivation to do it that I find the most difficulty with.

And this is where I cast the blame on everyone but myself:

1. We don't have the money to join the gym or the Y.
2. We don't have the money to spend on healthy food so that's why I'm eating pasta instead of salads.
3. I don't have the energy after dismal days at work to even think about exercising before or after my 8.5 hours of hell that I have to spend on earth every day.
4. Burgers and fries taste so much more awesome than turkey and steamed vegetables.
5. Water tastes like spit, diet soda is just as good.

I just feel so fucking hungry all the time.  And it feels like I have nothing else to turn to.  I don't drink, don't smoke, don't have any hobbies, nothing else to distract me from wallowing in my misery.

So tell me, what do you do?  My mother is getting her pool in order so I'm going to start swimming again, which is awesome, because it is exercise in which I don't have to sweat, and I do love to swim, so there's that, but what else?

I need some other distractions, people.  Because I long ago gave up the goal of being the perfect 10.  I just want to feel comfortable, happy, and healthy in my own skin.

My Mood Ring(tone) Of The Day:

Though honestly, my dream Mood Ring(tone) is:

It's Chicken, Mate

Incidentally, do you know how difficult it is to post anything with 20 lbs of solid cat wallowing all over you?  Actually...some of you probably do...

Moving on...

Look at this fine slop of mess we have right here!

Okay, so we took a welcomed break from our current Hamburger Helper/Sloppy Joe/Rice and Beans diet to splurge a little on one our favorite meals.

Behold...Alice Springs Chicken...copy cat version!

This is in no way healthy, or low in calories, or in any way good for you, but ehrmagerd, it is sooo good!

It's a homemade version of the excellent Outback dish, and bonus, it will allow you to order a steak or the prime rib at Outback without wasting your money on a chicken dish...at a steakhouse.  That is ridiculous in itself.

So, there are many versions of this recipe online, and I have combined a few to make my favorite...well, that's a lie.  It's not really my favorite, because my favorite entails homemade honey mustard dressing, but this one is quick and easy, and thus, it has become my new favorite, especially during the week, when I am exhausted and time is of the essence.

Okay, that's also a lie, because you do kinda have to start this recipe the night before, but not too much prep, I promise.

Ingredients:

4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
1/2 c. Worcestershire sauce
8 oz button mushrooms (or any mushrooms, really), sliced
8 slices of bacon
1 bottle honey-mustard dressing (I used Ken's, 16 oz)
8 oz Monterrey jack cheese
non-stick cooking spray
1 T. butter

The night before, place chicken breasts in a plastic Ziploc bag and pound the hell out of them until they're about 1" thick.  Pour in Worcestershire sauce, and let the chicken marinate overnight.

The next day:

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.  Get a 9x11 baking dish (glass or metal, whatever).  Spray that bad boy down with the cooking spray.  Set aside.

In a non-stick pan, melt butter and saute mushrooms until nice and soft, about 5 min.  Set aside.

In same pan, fry 8 slices of bacon until crisp, set aside.  When it's cooled down, crumble up into bacon-bit sized pieces.  Let it remain...aside.

Next, pour off excess marinade from chicken and brown in same skillet where you just fried the bacon (told ya it wasn't healthy), 3-4 min each side.

Place chicken breasts in baking dish.

Pour honey mustard dressing over each breast.  Next, add sauteed mushrooms. Next, add bacon. Next, cover with cheese.

Cover with tin-foil and bake about 25 min.

Ta-day!  Deliciousness! Enjoy; we certainly did.

My Mood Ring(tone) of the Day:

God, how I love Angel...I mean Booth...I mean, David Boreanaz...well, not so much the last one.

Incidentally, this is "our" song; I'm talking about me and the Rottenator...although, he's probably not as sentimental about it as I am.  I've been a bit irritated with him lately; I'd like to say it was because he was being an asshole, but it's more likely that I've just been in a bitchy mood.

Nothing New, What's Up With You?

So, a brief recap of my uber exciting life:

I've just finished preparing a ginormous packet of useless paperwork to send to the IRS to prove to them why I can't possibly pay off the exorbitant debt that they claim I owe.  I've managed to make it as confusing and disorganized as possible; payback, you might say, for how I've found their dealings with me when it comes to this situation.

Plus, my income is approximately $30 less than my outcome per month so let's see how they handle that.

Also, I desperately need new clothes.  Like, desperately. I do not know how I managed to overlook this, but I have no appropriate spring/summer clothes.  So I'm danger of either quitting my  job for fear of appearing like a hobbit hobo or dying of heat-stroke because I'm wearing wool sweaters in 80 degree weather.  So, despite the Rottenator's budget, I am going shopping this weekend. 

I had a "WOW" call evaluation at work which probably means nothing to you, much as it means nothing to me other than the fact that maybe I'll be left alone for a minute.  Basically, it looks like I'm fairly competent at a job that I despise.  I don't know how I feel about that.

Other than that, nothing new.

Although, after reviewing my recent posts and Mood Ring(tones) of the Day, I have come to realize that I am this guy:

I'll have to examine that in a future post, how to reconcile my love of Britpop and Rap and the occasional country song into one cohesive summation of my overall being.

But in the meantime, I'll just share this picture of a pine tree that I captured at work the other day.

It is totally giving the world the finger.  I am this pine tree.

And to continue with my seemingly out of character Mood Ring(tone) of the Day, I give you:

Incidentally, this song was played both at my sister's bachelorette party AND her wedding reception.  We are an interesting family indeed.

Sometimes Sports Do Matter...

Incidentally, my favorite part of this video is the row of Yankees fans who look slightly embarrassed but are still like, "yeah, yeah...god dammit...respect..."

If you don't know the history and the fierceness of this rivalry, you can read about it here which just goes to show you how momentousness this occasion was.

Because if any city knows what it's like to go through something like this, God Bless, NYC does...on a much larger scale. 

I haven't really posted on this yet,and I'm not going to wax poetic on it, or go all "America, Fuck Yeah!" on you, because I have an extra special love for Boston that has prevented me from really addressing this...

But yeah...whenever something horrific happens in this world, it's a blessing to see that we all seem to come together, and that basic humanity wins out in the long run.

And now a tribute to the Boston accent that to me is one of the best accents in the world ever...

 And of course:

God, I love Boston.

My Mood Ring(tone) Of The Day (natch)...

Born In The Wrong Country...

I am British at heart.  Always have been. I don't know where I get it from, really, probably from my dad, but I have always been drawn to the culture across the pond, as it were.

My Dad was an Anglophile as well.  I was first introduced to Dr. Who via PBS when I was a mere babe.

Tom Baker was my first Doctor.

Though David Tennant is my favorite.

Benny Hill was my first introduction to British comedy (although I still don't get the appeal; too slapstick for me, but so are the Three Stooges, which my Dad also loved, so there you go.  Male humor at it's worst).

But then came MTV...and the Young Ones...

And Billy Idol...

And Sting and the Police...

And then...Oasis and Britpop happened...

Oh my God did I love Liam Gallagher.  I mean, yes, Sting was my celebrity crush for many years, but Liam was the shiz-zit.

By the time I happened upon Liam, I was a professional celebrity stalker and one of the proudest moments of my life was tracking him down in NYC at his favorite hangout, the Irish Pub, and approaching him whilst he was singing along with his own music on the jukebox.  I told him how awesome he was and gave him an uncrumpled American dollar so he could play more of his own songs just to watch him enjoy himself.

He was very sweet and Mancunian mumbly. I was very Southern and nervous so unfortunately, it did not work out for us. Such is life.

I think Britpop is the music that will always define my life.  I think we all have those moments in time that we hold onto; probably when we were in our "prime"; for me, it was the early to mid 20s.  When I still had hopes and dreams and thought I was going to be something special.

Not a middle-aged woman working in payroll.

Whatever.  Life is full of twists and turns and I wonder how many of us turn out the way we think we would.  I guess I will never be the celebrated writer-slash-amazeballs-chef living in New York City married to a British rockstar, but still...maybe in the next life time.

Meanwhile, I shall leave you with my four most favorite British Ring(tones) Of the Day...my only regret is that I never saw all four out of four live in concert.

Jarvis Cocker, you owe me one.

Snooze Year's Eve

I worked all day, came home, made chicken pepperoni for the Rottenator, and checked up on Facebook to see all of the exciting plans that my friends and family had for the evening and realized: this is going to be my life.

For good or for bad, this is it.  I always get down after the holidays; this year is no different.  I'm still sitting her, less than an hour until 2013, hoping that something will happen.  The Rottenator will have tucked away a small surprise, gesture of love or affection, but as he stares transfixed at yet another football game, the likelihood of that happening lessens.

So tomorrow, I will get up, I will clean the house, make the traditional Southern Good Luck New Year meal of ham, collard greens (my first attempt at this hideous concoction), hoppin' john, and cornbread and go to sleep and prepare for another day of work.

Rinse and repeat.

This year, I am sober, relatively healthy, relatively comfortable, and still filled with an unshakable, nagging depression that just won't go away.

I hope it is the holiday blues, and I truly hope that this New Year brings everyone health, happiness, love and life.

My Mood Ring(tone) of the Day:

30 Days of Thanks...in one post or less

Tis the season...

1. My family
2. My job
3. Money
4. Normalcy
5. The Internet
6. Cable
7. Top Chef
8. Brit Pop
9. Razors
10. Makeup
11. Hair Color
12. Bras
13. Insight
14. My Brain...most days
15. The Rottenator...some days
16. E-cigs
17. Buffy
18. New York City & London
19. Cell phones
20. Diet Cherry Pepsi
21. Electricity
22. Freedom of religion, or the freedom not to have any religion at all
23. My country
24. Cars, and the ability to drive them
25. Forgiveness
26. Christmas
27. Snow
28. The ability to appreciate beauty in almost anything
29. Inner peace
30. Spell Check

Keeper

So, this morning, I couldn't find my cell phone (because I often have to store it in awkward, forgettable places in order to keep it from the Nooge's destructive grasp while getting ready for work, natch) and I grabbed the Rottenator's phone in order to call my own.

As one is wont to do...

And as I searched through his contact list to find my own #, I found that this was the picture he was using in place of the little Android bug to indicate it was me, his perfect precious princess, (as he often refers to me...in my imagination) calling:

*sigh* I guess I'll keep him.

Now, I just need to find a reason to keep the feral barn cat that masquerades as my catten.

And incidentally, I need to post another pic of my hair.  I got it cut and thanks to a hairdresser with curly hair and a knack for talking people into purchasing products, I've gotten SOOO many compliments on it.

I just have to wait until I have the energy to dye it so my gray roots aren't showing so much.

Work is still exhausting.  If you knew me, you'd be stunned, terrified, dare I say, to know that I just may be controlling your paycheck.  Muahahhaha! (insert diabolical laugh here).

Because, this pretty much sums up my numerical skills:

All for now; here's to a weekend of bbq, the Barnyard, and bleeding like a stuck pig.

TMI?  Okay, sorry, should have left out the bbq part.

My Mood  Ring(tone) of the Day:

But before I get to that, open letter to Pandora:

Seriously?  I create a station where the "root" groups are Suede, Blur, Pulp, Oasis, Radiohead, Coldplay, Mumford and Sons, and the Sex Pistols, and suddenly you're throwing Train, Nirvana and Daughtry at me? What the what?!??!  There needs to be a little more pattern to your randomness, please.

Money Can't Buy...what, exactly?

Whoever said "Money can't buy happiness" was obviously an obnoxiously rich depressed fuck or some hairy arm-pitted hippy, because, lemme tell you, having a little bit of scratch does make the world better.

No, the Rottenator and I are not rolling in it yet, but our financial situation is more stable than it has ever been in the entire time we've been together, and although we still have our quibbles and squabbles, our relationship is better too.

Because you know what?  Money can buy a reliable car, dinners at mid-scales buffets, a little peace of mind, and lots of cat treats and e-cig accessories.

Which leads to less stress.  And less stress = less violently angry Rottenator which makes the world a more enjoyable place.

The way to a man's heart truly is through his stomach...and his love of football.

Which why this jersey:

And tickets to this game this weekend:

are probably the best purchases of my life.

Other than this:

In other me related news, I had a great time at my sister's house this weekend, babysitting her chirren:

who are just the most hilarious and beautiful children in the word.  It was my sister's birthday, so I purchased these for her (she's a Gamecock and Bill Murray fan, obvs):

In fact, I don't believe I would be exaggerating if I were to say that Bill Murray needs to hire extra security.

Just sayin'.

So anyhoo, things are still going well.  New trainer at work, hurrah!  Which makes it a lot better.  Speaking of that, I think that the US of A needs to rethink it's work schedule.  Or at least my company does, because 4 days on/3 days off leaves me much more motivated.  In fact, even after a weekend away from home, I still managed to do laundry, clean the house, go to the grocery store, and post some mail.  Having a free day during the normal "work week" should be a routine...for me, of course, not for everyone else, because then I wouldn't be able to get my shit done, which would defeat the purpose.


To recap:

New car...

New washer and dryer...

New accessories for the car...

Life is pretty darn okay right now.  Only two things would  make it complete...

New Rottenator and new Nooge?  Say what!??!

I kid...kinda...

My Mood Ring(tone) of the Day:

Love and Hate

Stealing and slightly modifying an idea from one of my favorite bloggers, I've decided to create a list of things that I LOVE that other people hate.

1. Candy corn: it's dividing, I know.  You either love or hate candy corn.  I happen to love it. Even more than candy corn, I love the little pumpkins that are made from the same sugar, corn syrup with a little bit of honey (healthy!) sludge.  LOVE it!  
2. Mayonnaise: I order extra mayo on stuff.  I love it, can't get enough of it, don't care if it's unhealthy and fattening, I would slather that shit on a piece of cardboard and eat it if I could.
3. Cooking shows: Top Chef, Master Chef, Top Chef Masters, Hell's Kitchen, Kitchen Confidential, if it involves food and cooking, count me in!  Which leads me directly to:
4. Reality television.  My guilty pleasure. Not the normal "so you think you have talent well you don't so get the fuck off of my TV" shows, but stuff like Project Runway, Long Island Medium, Flipping Out, Real Housewives of Wherever, Say Yes to the Dress, Hoarders...I blame Bravo and The Learning Channel.
5. Cats.  Don't have any use for dogs, but I do love kitties.  Even the Nooge (aka my Katten) who is currently crawling all over me and biting and clawing.  He's lucky that he is occasionally sweet and often amusing...I guess it's his survival instincts kicking in or else he would find himself out with the trash.
6. Decorating for the holidays.  I will use any excuse to make anything sparkly, or light up, or glittery.  I would decorate for Labor Day if I could, but I'm not sure how to make union workers more festive...bedazzled hardhats perhaps?
7. Grocery shopping: the grocery store is my mecca.  It is my moment of zen, where I find my inner peace.  Probably because it's the only time I'm able to spend by myself with no distractions or annoyances like pets or fiances.  Also, I'm surrounded by my favorite thing in the world: food.
8. Citrus flavored desserts. I would choose a lemon pie over a chocolate pie any day.
9. Country ham: smells like week old road kill, but it is so salty, dry and delicious.  However, even I can only stomach it once a year (traditional Christmas breakfast!)
10. Cigarettes: yes, I've basically quit smoking, but I still miss it sometimes.  Not the smell, but the whole routine of it.  Which is why I have my e-Cig.  Though it's still not the same thing.  No matter how many different flavors I try (peanut butter and cake batter are two new faves), there is a relaxing sensation that comes with smoking a real cigarette that I still miss sometimes.  But not the possible lung cancer or emphysema that may eventually follow it.  I'll do just fine without those.

Not much more to say tonight; in fact, the above list was one that I started a few days ago and decided to go ahead and post as I don't have much more going on.  While the fall is definitely one of my favorite times of year, it also makes me melancholy for some reason.

My Mood Ring(tone) of the Day:

PS: Did I mention that I love Chris Martin?  He is funny and brilliant.

Mental Block

Remember not too long ago when I was complaining about NOT having a job and having no $?

Well, now I have a job and we have a bit of $ and now I'm complaining about my job, and my weight and my lack of motivation to clean my house so seriously, when am I going to stop whining and complaining and start counting my blessings?

Not today, kiddo, I can promise you that.

This job, OH-EMM-GEE, this job.  Well, not this job as much as this fucking whoremouth passive aggressive bitch from hell instructor I have who doesn't know her ass from a hole in the wall and treats a group of fairly intelligent women like children is driving me batshit crazy.

Completely.  She's awful, GOD awful, I couldn't stress that more.  But I'll sure as hell try.  Let me just say this much: Meryl is consistently making top scores in the class and SHE is going to her manager complaining about this woman.  'Nuff said.

The part I hate the most is that she makes me feel stupid and incompetent.  Not only is she not teaching us the important tools we need to be successful at our jobs, she is teaching us INCORRECT information.  She's twisted and dangerous and not in a fun, exciting way.

I shouldn't let it affect me like it does, but I can't help it.  I don't like feeling stupid, or having people treat me condescendingly.  I'm used to being the condescending, smart one.  So I guess this is karmic payback.

Well, enough already.  Of the karmic payback, that is.  October 1st.  10/1/12 is freedom; we move onto the next phase and have a new instructor.  And I can't fucking wait.  Maybe I'll have the motivation to clean my house by then.  Wouldn't it be nice if the Rottenator would do it for me?

Smiling is a sign of weakness

Doesn't that look like an enthused, strapping young man capable of washing a dish or changing a light bulb or, god forbid, scrubbing a toilet just ONCE? 

I guess not.  That's the face of a weak-stomached individual who got nauseated at the sight of the green goo coming out of a Cadbury's Screme Egg and couldn't finish it after one bite.

I ate two!

His loss, btw.  These things are delicious; another sign that Fall is coming, and not soon enough.  The weather is also getting cooler, which I'm enjoying.

So what am I complaining about anyway?  Not anything of importance, obviously.  But still I do.

Stupid birthdays.

Mood Ring(tone) of the Day:

Magnetic Personality - the video edition

Thanks to the Bloggess, I was introduced to the music of this chick who wrote this exquisite song.

Amanda Palmer is fucking brilliant. The above video led me to this one:

which I love for obvious reasons (Owaysis Roolz!)

Her style reminded me of this band:

And this band:

And this song:

And it made me miss my old/young self even more.

CROSS: A Thing They Nail People To

My comment on the opening ceremonies in London:

"Despite the lack of indigent Indian children, zombies, or heroin addicts, I found Danny Boyle's Olympic opening ceremonies to be a rousing success."

**And there is silence**

Look up Danny Boyle on imdb, people.   See his filmography?  Get it?  No?  Well, that would explain why I sometimes feel like Bill Murray (that's feel "like", not "up"; that would be my sister).

I amuse myself endlessly; case in point: this is my favorite board on Pinterest.

One of these days, I will find my soulmate who gets me completely, and shares my impeccable sense of humor.

In the meantime, I guess I'll just have to settle for the Rottenator and my sister, who at least appreciate some of, and accept most of my hilariousness.

Beginning day 3 with no cigarettes, and still down 7 pounds; might even try my hand at swimming today while doing chores.

And the Nooge has gotten into the habit of waking me at 5am every morning by milking me, or making biscuits as we in the South sometimes refer to it.

The video above accurately portrays our morning routine, except for the fact that there are no boobs and less facial hair and more sunlight because it is not 5 fucking AM.

I'm also calling around to vets today; next week it shall be snip snip time for the Rottenator Nooge.

My Mood  Ring(tone) of the day (in honor of the Olympics; this song always does send shivers down my spine in a good way)...

 

Saboteur!

So, obviously, I can only diet when the Rottenator is at work, because on his days off, he likes to frequent the buffets which I do not enjoy on the whole, but I am powerless to resist any offer of food, especially when it is in abundance.

*sigh*

I'm also unable to resist free food, and there was an ice cream social at work today, so of course I partook. 

Did I stop with one scoop of vanilla ice cream?  Did I bypass the ice cream in favor of the fresh fruit which was also being offered?

Oh, please, honestly?  Don't be silly; of course I made a big ass sundae complete with strawberry, chocolate, and caramel sauce, topped by Butterfinger bits, peanuts and whipped cream.

I am weak.  I can't wait to step on the scale tomorrow and see my weight-loss of seven pounds being stripped away in a matter of seconds.

But I didn't dissolve into true madness after counting up my calories on My Fitness Pal and come home and devour pepperoni slices, Tostitos Hint of Lime chips with dill dip, or even an Oatmeal Cream Pie.  I was even honest with my 350 calorie surplus and my lack of water intake. 

And I stopped eating for the night.  I also have not had a cigarette today, so I can officially say this is my first day of not smoking.  Yes, I vaped to get my nicotine fix, and although it is not a perfect solution it is certainly better than the alternatives.

Which are lung cancer, emphysema, heart disease, and murder (of loved ones and innocent strangers).

So, I consider today a relative success.

Also, my tulip tree is blooming again, which is a wonderful surprise, because it bloomed once over the spring, then we had a hard freeze, which turned all the beautiful flowers black with a quickness.  I didn't expect to see them again until next season, but here is proof that this god forsaken summer hasn't killed all of nature's beauty.

I really wish I had a better camera and a better cell phone, but you get the idea of how pretty this bloom is I hope.

All for now, long day, but tomorrow is casual day at work so I get to dress comfortably, and it's Friday, yay!

My Mood  Ring(tone) of the day:

Clean Sweep

It's funny, when I first started this entry, the opening line was going to be: "Man, I wish there was a Batman premiere every day!" but the I was quickly reminded by my brain of how inappropriate this would be considering what happened in Colorado, so I had to take a step back and rethink my intro.

Because, yes, despite outward appearances, sometimes there is a bit of thought that goes into these entries.

To clarify what I originally meant, my ill-timed and inappropriate phrase has not so much to do with the film (although it was AWESOME with a capital SAUCE, more on that later), but the mood of the Rottenator since then.

It's like he's a whole new person.  A pleasant person in a good mood who is actually...helpful, and generous, dare I say.

Oh, believe me, I know that this is temporary insanity on his part, but damn, I have been enjoying the hell out of it.  After the movie, we went to eat at PF Changs (again! I love that place, so this was fabulous, and we got great service and free food...again!), then hit the mall, where I got a new pair of kicks.

Reeboks; on clearance, 50% off, and cute to boot!

Then Sunday, it was laundry day, but we went out again(!) and I got three new shirts, and he didn't even bitch (that much) about the amount of $ I spent at the grocery store, AND he made dinner Sunday, AND he washed a sinkfull of dishes, AND he vacuumed the living room.

(Of course, he expected to be thanked profusely and worshipped for performing these three chores that I perform without anyone noticing on a daily basis with hardly any thanks whatsoever, but hey, it's cool, because his participation really was appreciated).

This change in personality can only be attributed to the release of this movie he's been waiting a year to see combined with our recent two-income household (relative) wealth, so on the whole, it was a good weekend.

That being said, I have come to recently realize that if I don't get at least one chill day on my days away from work, I am freakin' exhausted come Monday.  I mean, seriously, yesterday, I fell asleep at around 9:30pm and was a zombie at work.  All because Saturday, we had an activity filled day, and then Sunday, it was chore day.

I don't know whether to attribute this to my advanced age, my lack of in-shapeness, or my mental instability, but it is not cool.  I'm still a little wiped out today, quite frankly, and I find this unacceptable.  How to change it, I don't know.  This weekend will be better, because the Rottenator has to work, so I will have at least Sunday to chill.  Maybe this just means that my relationship to God is getting closer, because even He needed a break on the 7th day, right?

So, I mentioned PF Chang's and the free food, right?  Okay, check it: again, yesterday, me, exhausted, I knew the Rottenator was covered food-wise with his leftover stew, and we had a whole meal of Wok-Seared Beef with my name on it waiting for me in our fridge last night.  I was practically salivating, because I didn't have to cook dinner, I didn't have the energy to cook dinner, and all I wanted was to go home and nuke my delicious PF Chang's and enjoy a delicious meal.  I had been thinking about it since, oh, noon, when I had a very unsatisfying Lean Cuisine that did more to piss me off than it did to fill me up.

So, I get home.  I ask the Rottenator: "So, you're having stew for dinner, right?" 
Rottenator: "Yeah."
Me:  "Oh good, then I'm going to change into fancy pants and heat up that PF Chang's."
R: "Uh..."
M: "What, did you eat it?  You said you were having stew!"
R: "It smelled funny...I threw it out".

Again, I would like to direct your attention to this clip of Ross from Friends:

Um...so...yeah.  The Rottenator has a thing about food.  And it's totally fucked up when you think about it.  He doesn't like leftovers, it's like he was poisoned in a former life or something, and he won't eat anything that's a day old, or has been sitting out for more than 30 seconds, or that has an expiration date less than 30 days away.  What doesn't make sense is that this boy will also happily stuff his face at any buffet with the words Golden, Ryan's, Duke's or Eastern in front of it and not think twice about how long it's been sitting there festering on a hotplate under lukewarm lights, or how many booger filled hands have played with the cookies and dove face forward into the chocolate fountain.

OH, and the boy doesn't throw ANYTHING away.  We have collections of empty deodorant bottles, body spray, baby powder (yes, he uses baby powder; he has delicate skin and "chafes easily") and crockpots sitting in the fridge with two tablespoons of beef stew broth sitting in it.

Yet he throws away my Chinese food.  Mine.  Despite that I have tried to explain to him on numerous occasions that I am a fat girl with deep-seeded food possession issues (translation: all the food on the planet is mine, whether it's yours or not, whether I want to eat it or not, it's mine.  You may borrow or ask for it and I will give it to you, as long as I am promised a replacement ASAP.  I know, it's a problem.  I'm working on it).  It would be okay if I could make sense of his mindset at all, but I can't.  Other than to explain it away as:

• He doesn't care because it doesn't directly concern him so fuck it, chuck it.
• He is lazy and does not like to clean, and that far outweighs his need to throw away things that offend him.

Whatever, it was a minor irritation during what was an overall success of a weekend so I'll overlook it...once again.  But that doesn't mean his precious Little Debbie snacks were not threatened.

Back to Batman:  the film is amazing.  Absolutely brilliant, and I love Christopher Nolan, not only for his eloquent and heartfelt statement about the tragedies in Colorado but also because in this film, which could have easily been a testosterone fueled joy-ride, he let the heroines shine.

Anne Hathaway as Catwoman is so bad ass Buffy-level fierce, I adore her. And highly recommend seeing this movie if for nothing else, to take some power away from the truly insane and evil events that transpired in our country.

And now for the unnecessary pictures of the Nooge, who is driving me batshit crazy as usual.

Attached to the curtain (note that I am taking pictures, yet offering no assistance):

Watching Maru, because everyone loves Maru:

 

My Mood Ring(tone) Of The Day:

Silence Is Fucking Golden

It's really weird, I should be used to the Rottenator being gone at night being that he works most of them, but him being gone out of town overnight is much lonelier than him being at work overnight.           

And the Nooge is not so much a comforting presence as a god forsaken terror who's pretty damn lucky right now that he's too big to flush.

As I Sit Bleeding is the title of my next book.

Anyway, long day, tired, at least my feet will be happy that tomorrow is dress down day at work, hoorah!

Me: So, get some sleep, I love you.  Tell the hookers I said hey.

Rottenator:  I love you too and there are no hookers.  I'm too tired and I don't have money for hookers.

Me: So you're saying that the only things keeping you faithful to me are the fact that you're lazy and broke?

Rottenator: Pretty much.

Me: Works for me.

Who says romance is dead?

Meanwhile, Anderson Cooper is on Kathy Griffin's show tonight, and they are a hoot together, as my imaginary grandmother would say.



My Mood Ring(tone) Today:

                                                                                                                                                                            

Kicking My Ass...Life, That Is...

Between work and home, I am stressed and exhausted, but not unhappy.  Stressed, because work is...challenging.  Bottom line, the old adage "you can't teach an old dog new tricks" is especially true when that old dog is me, and me is not good at math (or English, apparently).

Work is like going to school again...and I wasn't that motivated the first time around, but this time, there is a check waiting for me at the end of the day, so I suppose that is serving as motivation enough.

You know that other old cliche "it's not the heat, it's the humidity" well we'll see how true that is in a few weeks when I'm shipped off to Texas in the middle of summer.  I have a feeling that hot is damn hot especially since I've checked the weather and it's going to be 100 fucking degrees when I'm there.  I'm going to wilt like a delicate little southern flower...actually, I'm going to be a big beet faced sweaty middle-aged pig panting her way around the city, but the flower image is much nicer than reality.

In other uneventful news, because of this...

someone found himself in time-out.  No, not the Rottenator (though he deserves to be), but the other aggravating male in my life.

Now, before you get all "Awww, but he's just a baby" sympathetic on me, let me just say that mere moments after this picture was taken and I was washing the blood from my wound, I returned to my living room to find this:

Yeah...you can see how concerned he is about his mama's pain and suffering.  Little asshole.

How I'm Feeling Today...well, for no particular reason, this song just popped into my head.  So, maybe this should be entitled "My Mood Ring(tone)":