LEEP of Faith? No, Death, Definitely Death

So, results back from the doc...

Not bad enough for the insurance to cover the hysterectomy, but enough to cover a LEEP procedure...which yay! Not cancer.  But boo! I could have to possibly have to get this done AGAIN down the road, and let's be honest, it sucks ass trying to get time off from my job, and really not looking forward to seeing the gyno every six months, so quite frankly, I was hoping to get everything ripped the fuck out.

I'm never having kids, no plans to EVER, so why not? Stupid insurance; Doc Awesomesauce says that it wouldn't cover a hysterectomy at this point; test results were abnormal, but not THAT abnormal (obviously there are levels of abnormal in the medical field) which is too bad;  I was looking forward to 4-6 weeks off from work, with people taking care of me, and pain pills.  No such luck.  Back to work in a day or two, which sucks, because I have no sick time left, and trying to schedule off time from work from what is basically a call center is hard as shit.

But whatever.  I'm going to ask Dr. Awesomesauce to recommend that I'm off at least 6 days for recovery...that way I will get paid.  Yes, I'm  working the system, but I'm also a big fat wimp when it comes to pain, so knowing me, I will be wallowing in bed for that long after this procedure.  Because IT SOUNDS HIDEOUS.

But it's not cancer. So that's a plus.


Pre-surgery: Oct 10, actual surgery Oct 15.  Whining and moaning about it: for weeks and weeks after.

Meanwhile, it's almost Friday, and College Football Saturday is almost upon us, so just one more day until the weekend.  It's weird, I've been feeling strangely sad and alone and missing the Rottenator, which is VERY weird, because he's been here and stuff, but I don't know...maybe it's his preoccupation with Grand Theft Auto 5 or maybe it's just the state of mind I've been in, but I've been feeling VERY alone lately.  Doesn't help that we work different shifts, I guess, but it is truly an odd sort of feeling for me, because I usually love my alone time.  Ah, well. Hormones, I guess.  Zoloft cannot take care of everything.  But I'm feeling okay.

Oh, and seriously, why do I like Nicki Minaj? Someone explain to me why I find her so catchy because she is my:

Mood Ring(Tone) Of the Day:

This also brought me great joy this week; it's just fun, and I adore Stephan Merchant.

Thanks for keeping up with me; I'll now go lurk around and keep up with all of you...

Dysplasia...Leukoplakia....say what?

That's the first thing I thought about when the doctor handed me a pamphlet with the word "Dysplasia" at the top of it...

Yes, my first thoughts were of a much beloved and underrated movie from 1986 called Lucas wherein I was first introduced to the term " Leukoplakia".

Why, I don't know; just one of those things.

Sooo...had my Colpol today and needless to say, the doc was not satisfied with the results.  So after much scraping, and sample taking and pamphlet giving, looks like I may have to have a minor surgery called a "LEEP"  .  We'll find out for sure on Friday...possibly Monday or Tuesday of next week, but in the meantime, I am going to milk this possible cancer thing because it is my birthday weekend, and if there is any way that I can feel more special, I'm going to exploit it.

With things like this:

http://www.pinterest.com/pin/122371314848308086/

 

 

Does that not look like the most delicious thing ever?  I have demanded it of my sister....because I can... because possible cancer.  Don't hate, I'm taking it easy on her, I could have demanded this!

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/gale-gand/croquembouche-recipe/index.html

 

 

 

 

But I didn't because she is a mother and does have a life and doesn't have multi-hours to spend on creating a spectacular dessert...besides, if she mastered this before I did, I could never live with myself.

And now off to sleep to prepare for another day at work....even though....screw you work I possibly have cancer!

Anyway, for whatever reason these two Dwight Yoakam songs have been in my head...don't know why...perhaps it's the cancer....

 

Geekology

So, a week from today, I will be amongst my peeps, for it is the weekend of DragonCon, and I am so looking forward to it (even though it means I will miss the opening game of college football, Alabama vs VA Tech, we have that shit handled, so don't give me a guilt trip about not watching it with you, Rottenator, Roll Tide..etc).

And here's the question, which I ask of all Dr. Who fans: how do you get past it? That your favorite actor has been replaced? Oh, don't get me wrong, the concept as far as network television goes, it's brilliant.  You can replace a lead actor at any time if they get out of line, or are feeling ornery, or wanting to bounce, or whatever,  you just boom! Regenerate and then you're on to the next one.

But for the fans...devastating. Let me explain:  David Tennant is my favorite Dr. Who, but when Christopher Eccelston regenerated into him....

A part of me died.  Just saying.

Though it wasn't as devastating as this:

Moving on, I've combined two posts into one because they do seem to connect somehow and have the same meaning, and are funnily enough, all Dr. Who related...did I mention that I'm looking forward to next weekend?  Not only do I get to hang out with my sis and favorite nephew, but we all get to embrace our inner geek, yay!

So, work crap:

What you may see in front of you is a mild-mannered nearly 42 year old who doesn't speak much....inserts her opinion every once in a while when a comment is deserved,  but other than that, sits quietly at her desk doing her job.  But inside....sometimes....she still rages....raging on against the dying of the light.

Funnily enough, Stephen Colbert inspired this part of the post.

http://popwatch.ew.com/2013/08/07/stephen-colbert-daft-punk-get-lucky-dancing-video/

And it was also spurred on by everyone in my team talking about past indiscretions, and my need to feel a part of the group and join in the conversation, because it's funny, these people don't know me like that.
 

Their perception: middle aged woman who doesn't know shit about what the issues that the "young kids" are dealing with nowadays.

Side note and mental check:  most of my team are in their late 20's, and/or early 30's so you're not exactly children. You're not in college anymore people, and you're not that different from me, sorry to break it to you.

BTW: think I passed the second part of my "hey, you're gonna get fired if you don't know the answers to these questions that have absolutely nothing to do with your job."

I'm in the payroll industry, btw...I hate math, and I was a journalism major in college. Life is a helluva thing. For someone who racked up thousands of dollars of debt...to have a job in payroll...without getting into details, check your paystubs, people.  And check them carefully...oh, and pay your taxes.  Because if you don't it will come back to bite you in the ass with a vengeance. 

My outfit for DragonCon:

With this button:

My sister's outfit:

She is either awsesomesauce or a heifer for showing everyone else out...I haven't decided yet...


 

Mood Ring(tone) Of The Day:

PS: Jude, you are awesome!

Hey Aunt Flo? You Suck!

So, after two and a half months of not having a period, my body decides it's time to have one the DAY before my colposcopy (which I still can't pronounce by the way...colonoscopy...colscopy...copocetic...Coldplay...you know what I mean!) so it's been rescheduled for a month from now because my doctor is on summer vacay for a few weeks.

All is well, though.  I'm still surprisingly okay about it (thank you, Zoloft), as well as my "pass this test or you'll be fired" work assignment.  The first part of the assessment was today and I feel pretty confident about it.  Turns out I finally figured out that this job sets you up for failure, but despite that, I'm still pretty darn good at it.  Not perfect, but still...at least I actually care about doing a good job, and even though I'm not perfect, I do try, and although it is a job that is completely opposite of everything that comes naturally to me, I have adapted to it relatively well.  And I do have a bit more confidence in myself.  Which is a weird feeling for me;  it's odd: I have low self esteem, but I also think I'm brilliant and awesome.  Is there a defined medical condition for that?  Please don't say bipolar because that means I would just have to get on more medication.

Meanwhile, this is my Mood Ring(tone) of the Day, and don't judge me; it just so happens that I was taking a bathroom break at work and no lie, the chick in the next stall was singing this (don't even get me started about people who talk to themselves and/or others while taking care of business, I don't get it)...

Best Exchange I've Had All Week:

With My Aunt (Awnt, not Ant) Bettie, who is nearing (if not already) 70, but a proper Southern lady would never reveal her age:

One More Thing...

I could not resist...sometimes the South Park guys make me cackle...

Happy 4th of July!!!

My Name Is Kathleen

So, the Rottenator and I have recently rediscovered the sitcom "My Name Is Earl" courtesy of Netflix and all I have to say is...it is a more pleasurable experience than trying to relive the "Arrested Development" resurrection which was, I hate to admit, a disappointment.

You know the worst part about getting into a show after it's been off the air is realizing that no more new episodes will be created and and they leave you with a cliffhanger.

Bastards.

Enjoy the gag reel.

On another note, my glasses broke today but luckily I managed to find two nearly outdated contact lenses so at least I am not completely blind.  It really was scary for a minute;  the whole being completely blind thing.  For a couple of minutes all I could picture was this:

But all is temporarily fine; I can see, and I'm due for some new frames anyway.  I can't decide whether I'm going subtle or for the Lisa Loeb look.

I'll keep you posted.


My Mood Ring(tone) Of the Day:

Nothing New, What's Up With You?

So, a brief recap of my uber exciting life:

I've just finished preparing a ginormous packet of useless paperwork to send to the IRS to prove to them why I can't possibly pay off the exorbitant debt that they claim I owe.  I've managed to make it as confusing and disorganized as possible; payback, you might say, for how I've found their dealings with me when it comes to this situation.

Plus, my income is approximately $30 less than my outcome per month so let's see how they handle that.

Also, I desperately need new clothes.  Like, desperately. I do not know how I managed to overlook this, but I have no appropriate spring/summer clothes.  So I'm danger of either quitting my  job for fear of appearing like a hobbit hobo or dying of heat-stroke because I'm wearing wool sweaters in 80 degree weather.  So, despite the Rottenator's budget, I am going shopping this weekend. 

I had a "WOW" call evaluation at work which probably means nothing to you, much as it means nothing to me other than the fact that maybe I'll be left alone for a minute.  Basically, it looks like I'm fairly competent at a job that I despise.  I don't know how I feel about that.

Other than that, nothing new.

Although, after reviewing my recent posts and Mood Ring(tones) of the Day, I have come to realize that I am this guy:

I'll have to examine that in a future post, how to reconcile my love of Britpop and Rap and the occasional country song into one cohesive summation of my overall being.

But in the meantime, I'll just share this picture of a pine tree that I captured at work the other day.

It is totally giving the world the finger.  I am this pine tree.

And to continue with my seemingly out of character Mood Ring(tone) of the Day, I give you:

Incidentally, this song was played both at my sister's bachelorette party AND her wedding reception.  We are an interesting family indeed.

Guilty Pleasures..The Video Version...

So, because I'm bored and self-involved, and I have the day off tomorrow (this time, an "approved" day off, Mother), I've decided the best use of my time (instead of vacuuming up dustbunnies, natch) is to come up with a list of my guilty pleasures...and also because I'd like to see if other people might share their own.

In no particular order:

1. Moonshiners.

I kinda have a crush on Tickle: "The cause and the remedy was one in the same."

2.  The Vampire Diaries.

I kinda have a crush on Ian Sommerhalder...well, not the actor so much as the character.

3. Cheesy/Inappropriate Christmas songs.

The last one is my absolute fave.

4.  Pit Boss.

5. Say Yes To The Dress...Atlanta

6. My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding

Literally live right down the street from me.

7.  Velveeta and Cream of Whatever Soup.

Beef Stroganoff with Velveeta cheese...and this is why I'm fat.

8.  Will Farrell and Vince Vaughn

 

9.  Psychics.

                                                                                      
 

I just feel if they make people feel better...they can't be all wrong...right?

10.  Pinterest. 

The best thing I can say about this is...it's cured my fascination with Facebook.

Discuss...

                                                                       

I'm Southern And I Know It...

Don't get me wrong, I do love living in the south, and I love all the pretty little flowers of spring. The tulip trees, the azaleas, the daffodils and whatnot but OH MY GOD:

Everything is covered with this yellow crap down here.  We had an incredibly mild winter so everything is blooming full force and although it is going to be spectacular and beautiful, I will not be here to enjoy it because I will have suffocated underneath all of this pollen.

Incidentally, have you ever seen pollen underneath a microscope?

This is the nasty stuff that attaches itself to your lungs and mucus membranes and everything else and causes you not to breathe for a good four months out of the year.

However, I guess I shouldn't complain because I know that even though we are officially into the Spring season, Mother Nature is not recognizing this fact in many areas of the US of A.

Meanwhile, in Chicago...

Meanwhile, in Colorado...

Meanwhile in Indy:

Meanwhile in Florida (Florida, are you serious?!?!)

So I guess I should keep my mouth (and nose) shut and just be thankful that it's not bitterly cold and snowy and icy down here because in general, Southerners do not handle any adverse weather conditions very well when it comes to operating moving vehicles.

In fact, this pretty much sums up Southerners reaction to any inclement weather:

Roll Tide.

Anyhoo, I have spent my day doing absolutely nothing; it is gray and damp here which is preventing me from my normal spring cleaning OCD fit, so I will just sit and enjoy my marathon of Buffy courtesy of Netflix.

Incidentally, I am also watching Curtis Stone on Food Network, so that affects my Mood Ring(tone) Of The Day:

Which leads me to this:

I'm beginning to think that there is not one aspect of my life that cannot be appropriately captured in an episode of "Scrubs" or "Buffy" or in the movie "Office Space".

I Should Not Be Allowed To Have Free Time

'Nuff said.

A Face Only a Mother Could Love

One of the reasons I'm not writing too much tonight:

In my lap, asleep, mouth hanging open, snoring. 

He takes after his father.

I'm also very tired; work is draining.  Lots of over time, cannot wait for tax season to be over.

And what does this have to do with my trip to see Harry Potter in September?

Absolutely nothing.

My Mood Ring(tone) of the Day:

But only because I saw this first:

Maybe later...

I'll feel up to writing a real post but until then, brief update:

• Things are going well; very well.  New car, new cell phone, new washer and dryer, work is okay, new license, got my nails did, the Nooge is still driving me crazy, the Rottenator is as well, and I'm okay with being 41.  In fact, I'd forgotten about turning 41...until now.  Dammit.

• I went to Carowinds with my sis and her fam last weekend for my niece's birthday.  It was SOOO much fun, and I'm stealing a photo from her site to show just how much fun I had:

Me and Vic

I need to see the dentist

Could I be any toothier?

Incidentally,  I rode EVERY rollercoaster, something I never would have done 100 lbs ago and I found out that I LOVE it.  It's addicting...and with me having an addictive personality...well, let's just say there are worse things to be addicted to.

I did manage to convince my sister onto one rollercoaster and it was all fun and games til we saw the pictures.  You know the ones that they snap of you at certain points of the ride?  Well, let's just say that while my sister and I felt like this as we were riding the coasters:

The reality was much more like this:

And this:

Needless to say...we passed on purchasing the pics.

My Mood Ring(tone) Of the Day:

Mental Block

Remember not too long ago when I was complaining about NOT having a job and having no $?

Well, now I have a job and we have a bit of $ and now I'm complaining about my job, and my weight and my lack of motivation to clean my house so seriously, when am I going to stop whining and complaining and start counting my blessings?

Not today, kiddo, I can promise you that.

This job, OH-EMM-GEE, this job.  Well, not this job as much as this fucking whoremouth passive aggressive bitch from hell instructor I have who doesn't know her ass from a hole in the wall and treats a group of fairly intelligent women like children is driving me batshit crazy.

Completely.  She's awful, GOD awful, I couldn't stress that more.  But I'll sure as hell try.  Let me just say this much: Meryl is consistently making top scores in the class and SHE is going to her manager complaining about this woman.  'Nuff said.

The part I hate the most is that she makes me feel stupid and incompetent.  Not only is she not teaching us the important tools we need to be successful at our jobs, she is teaching us INCORRECT information.  She's twisted and dangerous and not in a fun, exciting way.

I shouldn't let it affect me like it does, but I can't help it.  I don't like feeling stupid, or having people treat me condescendingly.  I'm used to being the condescending, smart one.  So I guess this is karmic payback.

Well, enough already.  Of the karmic payback, that is.  October 1st.  10/1/12 is freedom; we move onto the next phase and have a new instructor.  And I can't fucking wait.  Maybe I'll have the motivation to clean my house by then.  Wouldn't it be nice if the Rottenator would do it for me?

Smiling is a sign of weakness

Doesn't that look like an enthused, strapping young man capable of washing a dish or changing a light bulb or, god forbid, scrubbing a toilet just ONCE? 

I guess not.  That's the face of a weak-stomached individual who got nauseated at the sight of the green goo coming out of a Cadbury's Screme Egg and couldn't finish it after one bite.

I ate two!

His loss, btw.  These things are delicious; another sign that Fall is coming, and not soon enough.  The weather is also getting cooler, which I'm enjoying.

So what am I complaining about anyway?  Not anything of importance, obviously.  But still I do.

Stupid birthdays.

Mood Ring(tone) of the Day:

The current state of my fitness plan...

*sigh* Oh, well.  Tomorrow is another day.

In the meantime, I am enjoying the closing of the Olympic ceremonies.  Rule Britannia!  It was like the soundtrack of my formative years was playing.  My Anglophilia was reborn.

So was my love of one Liam Gallagher.

God how I did and do love that man.

Vast improvement on the hair front.  Would have a pic tonight but as I sit here with a Biore strip across my nose I feel that now is not the appropriate time.

The Rottenator is out of town and though I'm used to being by myself at night, he is usually only five minutes away whereas tonight he is 2.5 hours away so it is a little different.  And the Nooge isn't helping matters; every pop and creak of the house causes him to jump and stare blankly into dark shadows with black eyes which is not the most soothing thing in the world.

So, I'm off to bed while I am still relaxed enough to sleep.  I did get some cleaning done today, as well as my nails, so overall...successful weekend.  We'll just forget about the hot fudge sundae that served as my lunch and roll on.

Dos Testículos

I don't always post this seductively...but when I do, it's in the middle of your bed...without my testicles.

The Time Has Come...

Can I get an Amen?

The Rottenator is already having second thoughts; I guess it's some sort of male solidarity, but as the volunteer from the SPCA kindly informed him: "You know there's no scientific proof that says that his are attached to yours, right?"

Oh, how we laughed.  And by we, I mean all four of us women in the room.  The Rottenator was not amused.

Countdown to T-Day has begun!

My Mood Ring(tone) of the Day (NSFW and perhaps offensive to some, as are most things I find hilarious)..

CROSS: A Thing They Nail People To

My comment on the opening ceremonies in London:

"Despite the lack of indigent Indian children, zombies, or heroin addicts, I found Danny Boyle's Olympic opening ceremonies to be a rousing success."

**And there is silence**

Look up Danny Boyle on imdb, people.   See his filmography?  Get it?  No?  Well, that would explain why I sometimes feel like Bill Murray (that's feel "like", not "up"; that would be my sister).

I amuse myself endlessly; case in point: this is my favorite board on Pinterest.

One of these days, I will find my soulmate who gets me completely, and shares my impeccable sense of humor.

In the meantime, I guess I'll just have to settle for the Rottenator and my sister, who at least appreciate some of, and accept most of my hilariousness.

Beginning day 3 with no cigarettes, and still down 7 pounds; might even try my hand at swimming today while doing chores.

And the Nooge has gotten into the habit of waking me at 5am every morning by milking me, or making biscuits as we in the South sometimes refer to it.

The video above accurately portrays our morning routine, except for the fact that there are no boobs and less facial hair and more sunlight because it is not 5 fucking AM.

I'm also calling around to vets today; next week it shall be snip snip time for the Rottenator Nooge.

My Mood  Ring(tone) of the day (in honor of the Olympics; this song always does send shivers down my spine in a good way)...

 

Clean Sweep

It's funny, when I first started this entry, the opening line was going to be: "Man, I wish there was a Batman premiere every day!" but the I was quickly reminded by my brain of how inappropriate this would be considering what happened in Colorado, so I had to take a step back and rethink my intro.

Because, yes, despite outward appearances, sometimes there is a bit of thought that goes into these entries.

To clarify what I originally meant, my ill-timed and inappropriate phrase has not so much to do with the film (although it was AWESOME with a capital SAUCE, more on that later), but the mood of the Rottenator since then.

It's like he's a whole new person.  A pleasant person in a good mood who is actually...helpful, and generous, dare I say.

Oh, believe me, I know that this is temporary insanity on his part, but damn, I have been enjoying the hell out of it.  After the movie, we went to eat at PF Changs (again! I love that place, so this was fabulous, and we got great service and free food...again!), then hit the mall, where I got a new pair of kicks.

Reeboks; on clearance, 50% off, and cute to boot!

Then Sunday, it was laundry day, but we went out again(!) and I got three new shirts, and he didn't even bitch (that much) about the amount of $ I spent at the grocery store, AND he made dinner Sunday, AND he washed a sinkfull of dishes, AND he vacuumed the living room.

(Of course, he expected to be thanked profusely and worshipped for performing these three chores that I perform without anyone noticing on a daily basis with hardly any thanks whatsoever, but hey, it's cool, because his participation really was appreciated).

This change in personality can only be attributed to the release of this movie he's been waiting a year to see combined with our recent two-income household (relative) wealth, so on the whole, it was a good weekend.

That being said, I have come to recently realize that if I don't get at least one chill day on my days away from work, I am freakin' exhausted come Monday.  I mean, seriously, yesterday, I fell asleep at around 9:30pm and was a zombie at work.  All because Saturday, we had an activity filled day, and then Sunday, it was chore day.

I don't know whether to attribute this to my advanced age, my lack of in-shapeness, or my mental instability, but it is not cool.  I'm still a little wiped out today, quite frankly, and I find this unacceptable.  How to change it, I don't know.  This weekend will be better, because the Rottenator has to work, so I will have at least Sunday to chill.  Maybe this just means that my relationship to God is getting closer, because even He needed a break on the 7th day, right?

So, I mentioned PF Chang's and the free food, right?  Okay, check it: again, yesterday, me, exhausted, I knew the Rottenator was covered food-wise with his leftover stew, and we had a whole meal of Wok-Seared Beef with my name on it waiting for me in our fridge last night.  I was practically salivating, because I didn't have to cook dinner, I didn't have the energy to cook dinner, and all I wanted was to go home and nuke my delicious PF Chang's and enjoy a delicious meal.  I had been thinking about it since, oh, noon, when I had a very unsatisfying Lean Cuisine that did more to piss me off than it did to fill me up.

So, I get home.  I ask the Rottenator: "So, you're having stew for dinner, right?" 
Rottenator: "Yeah."
Me:  "Oh good, then I'm going to change into fancy pants and heat up that PF Chang's."
R: "Uh..."
M: "What, did you eat it?  You said you were having stew!"
R: "It smelled funny...I threw it out".

Again, I would like to direct your attention to this clip of Ross from Friends:

Um...so...yeah.  The Rottenator has a thing about food.  And it's totally fucked up when you think about it.  He doesn't like leftovers, it's like he was poisoned in a former life or something, and he won't eat anything that's a day old, or has been sitting out for more than 30 seconds, or that has an expiration date less than 30 days away.  What doesn't make sense is that this boy will also happily stuff his face at any buffet with the words Golden, Ryan's, Duke's or Eastern in front of it and not think twice about how long it's been sitting there festering on a hotplate under lukewarm lights, or how many booger filled hands have played with the cookies and dove face forward into the chocolate fountain.

OH, and the boy doesn't throw ANYTHING away.  We have collections of empty deodorant bottles, body spray, baby powder (yes, he uses baby powder; he has delicate skin and "chafes easily") and crockpots sitting in the fridge with two tablespoons of beef stew broth sitting in it.

Yet he throws away my Chinese food.  Mine.  Despite that I have tried to explain to him on numerous occasions that I am a fat girl with deep-seeded food possession issues (translation: all the food on the planet is mine, whether it's yours or not, whether I want to eat it or not, it's mine.  You may borrow or ask for it and I will give it to you, as long as I am promised a replacement ASAP.  I know, it's a problem.  I'm working on it).  It would be okay if I could make sense of his mindset at all, but I can't.  Other than to explain it away as:

• He doesn't care because it doesn't directly concern him so fuck it, chuck it.
• He is lazy and does not like to clean, and that far outweighs his need to throw away things that offend him.

Whatever, it was a minor irritation during what was an overall success of a weekend so I'll overlook it...once again.  But that doesn't mean his precious Little Debbie snacks were not threatened.

Back to Batman:  the film is amazing.  Absolutely brilliant, and I love Christopher Nolan, not only for his eloquent and heartfelt statement about the tragedies in Colorado but also because in this film, which could have easily been a testosterone fueled joy-ride, he let the heroines shine.

Anne Hathaway as Catwoman is so bad ass Buffy-level fierce, I adore her. And highly recommend seeing this movie if for nothing else, to take some power away from the truly insane and evil events that transpired in our country.

And now for the unnecessary pictures of the Nooge, who is driving me batshit crazy as usual.

Attached to the curtain (note that I am taking pictures, yet offering no assistance):

Watching Maru, because everyone loves Maru:

 

My Mood Ring(tone) Of The Day:

Shades of Ginger

"Come hither, Woman."

"What did we say about you on the bed?  Get down!"

"Why can't you be more like Him?  Him carries me in here and places me me gently on the pillow so I don't lose a claw in the mattress as I'm climbing up the side."

"If it were up to me, you'd lose all of your claws when you lose two other unnecessary things in a few weeks.  Snip snip!"

"What are these these 'things' and this 'snip snip' that you speak of?"

"Nevermind.  Bed...You...Off...Now!"

"But..."

"No buts.  In fact, it's because I'm tired of waking up with fuzzy butts in my face that I demand you sleep somewhere else.  Go!"

"God Dammit.  Just promise not to qwop it up."

"I promise nothing."

My Mood Ring(tone) of the Day: