In lieu of an actual interesting post wherein I detail the fabulosity of my life (ha!), I've decided to provide a brief recap of shows that I'm currently watching that are not, surprise, all reality shows. Because I think it's a good thing to embrace shows that still show a little bit of originality, a little bit of a story-line and a little bit of, dare I say it, drama!
Scandal. No, seriously, watch this show. I mean...it is very rare that a show catches my attention from the very first episode (in fact I think Buffy was the last pilot that I fully enjoyed) but this one did. It is THAT good! And I'm not even a fan of politics, but this show...my GOD, I love every character on it. Which is saying a lot, because there is always at least one character on every show that I want dead and buried, but not in this case. In fact, I don't even hate this guy:
He is that damn good as the president. Dammit, I've said too much! Just watch it; you can catch the first season on Netflix, and the second on Hulu. And I'm gonna need all of you to catch up on it so we have stuff to discuss.
2. Elementary My mother turned me onto this show. And it stars a guy that I've long adored, even back before he got crazy and married Angelina Jolie; back when he was just a Scottish junkie. Not Obi-Wan, the other guy...
He stars as Sherlock Holmes. He's like a sexy British Monk. He is awesomesauce.
Hear me out: there is no more Buffy, so I must seek out the vampires where I can; plus, Twilight just doesn't cut it. Plus, TVD is filmed in Atlanta, so I get to point at the TV and say, "Hey, I've BEEN there!" when they show all of the different neighborhoods. My sister and I are planning a stalking trip at some point to meet the cast. I am a celebrity stalking professional, btw. But in a sweet non-obtrusive way. Not in a throw my pubic hair in your face way. Poor Wolverine.
Plus, Damon and Klaus are damn hot. 'Nuff said.
What are you watching? I'm always up for new suggestions because until the return of some incarnation of Top Chef, there's a hole in my DVR that needs filling.
That's good enough for me; however, it is not good enough for the Rottenator. Mr. "We need to save money for a second car and Harry Potter blah blah blah" would not touch a left-over even if it slapped him in the face and demanded to be eaten.
I don't get it. I can make a beef stew on Sunday, and still be snacking on it for lunch on Tuesday.
The Rottenator, however, is convinced that bacteria starts forming on meat within two hours of it being prepared so he won't touch it.
HOWEVER, he will chow down on a chocolate peanut butter Reeses bunny like it's nobody's business if it's left in a cabinet for more than one day.
He ate the face first. Then finished off the rest of it with abandon.
I relayed this information to my mother who happened to mention that I may possibly have food issues (duh!) and this particular "all the food in the universe is mine don't touch it or I'll cut you" impulse is heriditary.
Good to know I'm crazy for a reason. It seems my father was the same way. In fact, the Mother relayed an incident wherein my father and my godfather left their chocolate bunnies in the refridgerator for more than one hour and she devoured them both and my dad freaked the fuck out. With good reason. My mother's explanation:
"Well I warned them." Are you kidding me? THAT IS NO EXCUSE!!!!
It was MY chocolate peanut butter bunny and there will never be another one like it and you took it from me and now you must suffer and possibly die.
Those are the consequences of touching MY food.
Tell me people, who is right in this situation? And if you say that it's anyone other than me, believe me, I know how to cut a bitch.
I did manage to make a low-maintenance meal in the mean time, and I highly recommend it: served with a side of mac and cheese.
BBQ Meatballs. Who woulda thunk it, but it is so easy and delicious and even I, who has an aversion to sweet meat, find these to be amaze-balls.
1 (32 ounce) bag frozen meatballs
1 (9 ounce) jar grape jelly
1 (18 ounce) bottle spicy barbecue sauce
Directions:
1. Combine the barbecue sauce and grape jelly into the slow cooker and then add the meatballs.
2. Cook the mixture on high for 2 – 2 ½ hours until completely cooked through.
Ta-dah! This way, you can still appear to be productive and provide a hot meal for your family whilst sitting on yourgluteus maximus and crying over the fact that you will never be as hot as Buffy and regretting the misspent years of your youth.
My Mood Ring(tone) Of The Day:
PS: I am going to the beach in a few weeks, and I cannot wait.
Christmas was nice but over too soon. I did manage to make it to my sister's for a very brief visit but it was awesome waking up and seeing the kids all get their Christmas gifts.
Of which there were many; you can read about that here and see a god awful pic of me as well. I am beginning to think that my sister is passively-aggressively taking out latent hostility towards me which is left over from my supposed torturing of her in our earlier days. Either that, or she's just not a very good picture taker. But I love her anyway ;-)
Work is still exhausting. The Rottenator asked how I could be so exhausted from just sitting and talking on the phone all day and it's kinda hard to explain how mentally draining this job is to someone who doesn't understand it. Hell, I don't understand what I'm doing half of the time...which adds to the exhaustion. The best way to explain my job is to imagine sitting for 8 hours a day doing math problems. Word math problems. When you're not good at math.
Pretty much sums it up.
So, 2013 is upon us. And I know, everyone says, "Oh, I'm not going to make resolutions; it's so stupid and predictable and everyone makes resolutions, so I'm going to be different and contrary and not make any." Well, to those people, I say "fuck off, loser, stop trying to be contrary and different because now the fad is to NOT make resolutions so you're still a poser who's just trying to be different for the sake of being different."
So I'm making them. Because I'm edgy and cool. I saw this on Facebook the other day and because I was having a particularly bad one where I doubted everything and was hating my life and questioning my existence on this planet and my purpose in life, I reposted it.
And though it may be cheesy and sentimental, I still feel that way. It's the most difficult resolution of all, however, isn't it?
So, onto other ones, some more or less difficult, some more or less realistic and serious.
In no particular order:
I'm still kinda serious about the 365 milkshakes taste-test in 365 days. Perhaps it will lead to a book deal and not the life-threatening diabetes which is probably the more realistic outcome.
Lose (not loose, grammatical idiots) 40 lbs which is in direct conflict with the resolution above. Also, eat healthier so I feel better and not sickly and tired all the time.
Doctors appointments: mammogram, physical, gynecologist, dentist, top to bottom check out. Bloodwork included.
Celebrate my birthday at The Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal Studios. I have not yet celebrated my fourth decade on earth as a monumental occasion, so I may as well make this the one.
Start writing again; even if that means nothing more than updating this blog more faithfully. It gives me a creative outlet and keeps my brain from stagnating.
So far, that's the list. I'm not going to go crazy with it, because then I'll look back on it as a insurmountable, unachievable list of "things I will never accomplish so fuck it all!" and not do a damn one of them, so let's keep it simple, stupid.
So, less of a list of resolutions and more of a touchstone of goals that I need to keep focused on. That works for me.
Mood Ring(tone) of the Day:
Sidebar: I know nothing of this band, or any of their other songs; I just know that Pandora played it on my station today and I must say: great job Pandora! Usually the songs they pick for me at random are totally like, WTF, seriously?!? How do you get Michael Buble from my stating that I like Oasis and Blur, but whatever...
This one was different, though. Very catchy. Foster the People. I'm afraid to research them for fear of ruining my enjoyment of this catchy little ditty.
Update: of course, I had to read up on the band. Good news: I'm still okay with them! Better news: I found a song I like that's only a couple of years old.
Kinda funny: they played this song on the Vampire Diaries. Which explains why I had visions of myself dancing around in my bra and underwear getting drunk with Damon Salvatore. And why I looked like Buffy Summers.
Ooooh, another update: I'm suddenly 16 years old just looking at these two together.
Another resolution: get really hot, be 20 years old, and have a devastatingly handsome and dangerous vampire boyfriend. Noted.
Two more days of work this week and then I'm off for a lovely Thanksgiving holiday. I'm really looking forward to it this year, possibly more so than Christmas even. This probably has something to do with the fact that since my change of career, I won't get much time off for Christmas this year. And by much, I mean barely any other than Christmas day.
However, I was lucky enough to score the Friday after Turkey Day off so not only am I looking forward to an extended weekend off, this year marks the first time that this guy...
will meet these people...
Needless to say, I am uber excited. The Rottenator is less enthused. I believe his comment was, and I quote, "I'd rather poke my eyes out with a dull butterknife."
He is not a social person. Sociopath, maybe. Sociable, no. But it's high time he meet the fam. I mean, it's pretty obvious he's not going anywhere any time soon and I am very close to my family, so he just needs to suck it up.
Besides, he's gonna be watching a day of college football with a fellow SEC enthusiast who has testicles, so that's gotta be fun, right? Even though their two teams may just be playing each other for the championship game, but thank God, that's not until December, so that definitely lessens the possibility of smack talk that gets deadly serious. And luckily we don't own guns. And the alcohol supply will be limited.
And there will be food. Oh, yes, there will be.
Turkey
Ham
Mac and cheese
Mashed potatoes
Green bean casserole
Stuffing (or dressing, as the rednecks like to call it)
Cranberry Sauce
Cheesecake
Artichoke Dip
Little smokies in bbq sauce
And though the turkey may not be stuffed, I sure as hell will be.
I just hope it doesn't turn out like this.
But if it turned out like this, that would be pretty awesome.
My Mood Ring(tone) of the Day...
PS: the only version I could find of this was in Italian but if you've seen this movie as many times as I have, you'll know the English by heart.
So, I woke up in a pensive mood today. Actually, I stepped off the scale in a pensive mood, which, actually, is quite a different feeling than I normally have when dealing with that monster. Pensive because my weight had fluctuated by 5 lbs from yesterday, so I was immediately like..."what the fuck..." but not in an angry or confused way, more like a calm acceptance of the fact that the scale really is not an accurate tool in which I should judge my success or failure at this diet experiment because I seriously have not adjusted my caloric intake by the extreme amount that it would take to make that much of a difference in my heft...or lack thereof.
And this got me thinking...sure, I originally started this lifestyle change to achieve what most women want...physical perfection.
Even though I lie to myself and say it's because I want to get healthy. Or lied, I should say, as in the past tense.
See, I work with a very sweet girl that I like very much who lives with lupus. It is a horrible, debilitating painful disease for which there is no cure. She lives in pain every day, and never complains, is warm, friendly, funny, kind, and spiritual. In a very non-annoying way, because normally, these are qualities that I disdain in a person (Kidding! I joke! Kinda...)
And it got me to thinking about my own health and how blessed I really am that I don't wake up every day in pain, that other than a few extra pounds, an occasional backache, or a bloody stump of a toe, I am relatively healthy and pain free. So what the hell am I bitching about?
The fact is that I have been so lucky to enjoy relative good health in my life, other than illnesses caused by my own foolish behavior. And how easily have I forgotten that a little over 18 months ago I was in an intensive care unit while this amazing body that I detest and deride every day fought as hard as it could to keep going.
This body that I take for granted, that I criticize for sagging or bulging or wrinkling has actually served me very well these past 40 years and still I complain about it and treat it like shit. I have pushed it to the very limits of its endurance, and still it carries on, gives me very little problems, and keeps me going. Literally.
While I was recovering, after one of my numerous blood tests, my doctor informed me that he was concerned about my thyroid levels. They were a low, and he wanted to keep an eye on them because he was hesitant to put me on any medication to treat it because he wasn't a fan of taking that serious of a step and he wanted to see if the problem would correct itself.
Well my body was like:
And boom, it took care of business. Next visit...perfect thyroid levels.
Even during the times I didn't want to go on, it never gave up, and kept fighting.
So, my philosophy has changed. I'm not going to berate myself or it by denying it when it wants a piece of chocolate, but neither am I going to torture it by forcing down a double whopper with cheese because of misplaced anger or frustration.
And I'm not going to stare in the mirror making fun of it, degrading it, or humiliating it any more. Quite frankly, I'm going to work hard at showing it the respects it deserves, and cherishing it for everything it has done for me.
Just one of those days where I'm in a bad mood for no reason. Actually, I'm probably in a bad mood because I'm tired and more than likely PMS'ing, but I find it much easier to blame my mood on the Rottenator, because god knows, he probably deserves it for some reason.
For example, tonight, as I was washing dishes after making dinner, doing some serious pondering (my other pondering place is my shower, but I'm usually pondering over what I'm going to wear to work that day, so I have less time to harbor resentments) I just started thinking...what have you done for me lately?
As I'm typing this, he just let out the most horrendous fart, so that, in itself, is reason for me to loathe him completely.
Another reason is that...seriously, I was thinking, when has he ever done anything completely, selflessly, entirely for me without expecting some sort of reward, or without getting...
So, I started this post last night and I'll leave off there for authenticity's sake but I'm not in a much better mood tonight. I really shouldn't post when tired, but a lot of my emotions are still the same. We had a big fight again tonight about the yard, which is growing up to my eyeballs, and the trashcan, which needed to be taken to the curb and which I have done the past few weeks. What's the point of having a big strapping young man around if they don't take care of these things for you? Good question, no answer.
But he did it tonight after my incessant bitching. But the yard: "I'm not motivated to get out there and do it." Really? REALLY!?!?! Like I live to clean the bathroom and mop the kitchen, but I fucking do it. Whatever.
This is not going to be a good post because I didn't stick to my diet today and I'm frustrated. Of course I'm going to blame that on him, too. The mall and the food court. He forced that gyro wrap down me...and the curly fries...and the frozen yogurt (nutella frozen yogurt, is amazing btw, I highly recommend it, especially when swirled with peanut butter, oh...my...goddess.
This is where I'm frustrated with myself because I could have been fine with just the wrap but of course I had to order the curly fries too and even though I was full by the time I finished the wrap, I forced down a few fries. The more is more philosophy that I can't seem to get out of my head when it comes to food infuriates me.
But still I faithfully logged all of my calories as honestly as possible on MFP but GOD do I still want to stuff myself with cheetos slathered in dill dip before I go to bed. Definitely PMS. So, I will drink my water, finish up my computer stuff and go to bed. Today is not a complete wash and I will hold onto my 10 lbs. lost as a win.
And I won't kill the Rottenator or the Nooge in the meantime...if all are lucky. Yes, the Nooge who is insane because he was left alone for a few more hours and climbing all over me, knocking over water and slamming doors and walking across computer screens.
They should thank my friend Meryl at work for introducing me to E-Cigs. But my nerves are still fucking shot.
It's funny, when I first started this entry, the opening line was going to be: "Man, I wish there was a Batman premiere every day!" but the I was quickly reminded by my brain of how inappropriate this would be considering what happened in Colorado, so I had to take a step back and rethink my intro.
Because, yes, despite outward appearances, sometimes there is a bit of thought that goes into these entries.
To clarify what I originally meant, my ill-timed and inappropriate phrase has not so much to do with the film (although it was AWESOME with a capital SAUCE, more on that later), but the mood of the Rottenator since then.
It's like he's a whole new person. A pleasant person in a good mood who is actually...helpful, and generous, dare I say.
Oh, believe me, I know that this is temporary insanity on his part, but damn, I have been enjoying the hell out of it. After the movie, we went to eat at PF Changs (again! I love that place, so this was fabulous, and we got great service and free food...again!), then hit the mall, where I got a new pair of kicks.
Reeboks; on clearance, 50% off, and cute to boot!
Then Sunday, it was laundry day, but we went out again(!) and I got three new shirts, and he didn't even bitch (that much) about the amount of $ I spent at the grocery store, AND he made dinner Sunday, AND he washed a sinkfull of dishes, AND he vacuumed the living room.
(Of course, he expected to be thanked profusely and worshipped for performing these three chores that I perform without anyone noticing on a daily basis with hardly any thanks whatsoever, but hey, it's cool, because his participation really was appreciated).
This change in personality can only be attributed to the release of this movie he's been waiting a year to see combined with our recent two-income household (relative) wealth, so on the whole, it was a good weekend.
That being said, I have come to recently realize that if I don't get at least one chill day on my days away from work, I am freakin' exhausted come Monday. I mean, seriously, yesterday, I fell asleep at around 9:30pm and was a zombie at work. All because Saturday, we had an activity filled day, and then Sunday, it was chore day.
I don't know whether to attribute this to my advanced age, my lack of in-shapeness, or my mental instability, but it is not cool. I'm still a little wiped out today, quite frankly, and I find this unacceptable. How to change it, I don't know. This weekend will be better, because the Rottenator has to work, so I will have at least Sunday to chill. Maybe this just means that my relationship to God is getting closer, because even He needed a break on the 7th day, right?
So, I mentioned PF Chang's and the free food, right? Okay, check it: again, yesterday, me, exhausted, I knew the Rottenator was covered food-wise with his leftover stew, and we had a whole meal of Wok-Seared Beef with my name on it waiting for me in our fridge last night. I was practically salivating, because I didn't have to cook dinner, I didn't have the energy to cook dinner, and all I wanted was to go home and nuke my delicious PF Chang's and enjoy a delicious meal. I had been thinking about it since, oh, noon, when I had a very unsatisfying Lean Cuisine that did more to piss me off than it did to fill me up.
So, I get home. I ask the Rottenator: "So, you're having stew for dinner, right?"
Rottenator: "Yeah."
Me: "Oh good, then I'm going to change into fancy pants and heat up that PF Chang's."
R: "Uh..."
M: "What, did you eat it? You said you were having stew!"
R: "It smelled funny...I threw it out".
Again, I would like to direct your attention to this clip of Ross from Friends:
Um...so...yeah. The Rottenator has a thing about food. And it's totally fucked up when you think about it. He doesn't like leftovers, it's like he was poisoned in a former life or something, and he won't eat anything that's a day old, or has been sitting out for more than 30 seconds, or that has an expiration date less than 30 days away. What doesn't make sense is that this boy will also happily stuff his face at any buffet with the words Golden, Ryan's, Duke's or Eastern in front of it and not think twice about how long it's been sitting there festering on a hotplate under lukewarm lights, or how many booger filled hands have played with the cookies and dove face forward into the chocolate fountain.
OH, and the boy doesn't throw ANYTHING away. We have collections of empty deodorant bottles, body spray, baby powder (yes, he uses baby powder; he has delicate skin and "chafes easily") and crockpots sitting in the fridge with two tablespoons of beef stew broth sitting in it.
Yet he throws away my Chinese food. Mine. Despite that I have tried to explain to him on numerous occasions that I am a fat girl with deep-seeded food possession issues (translation: all the food on the planet is mine, whether it's yours or not, whether I want to eat it or not, it's mine. You may borrow or ask for it and I will give it to you, as long as I am promised a replacement ASAP. I know, it's a problem. I'm working on it). It would be okay if I could make sense of his mindset at all, but I can't. Other than to explain it away as:
He doesn't care because it doesn't directly concern him so fuck it, chuck it.
He is lazy and does not like to clean, and that far outweighs his need to throw away things that offend him.
Whatever, it was a minor irritation during what was an overall success of a weekend so I'll overlook it...once again. But that doesn't mean his precious Little Debbie snacks were not threatened.
Back to Batman: the film is amazing. Absolutely brilliant, and I love Christopher Nolan, not only for his eloquent and heartfelt statement about the tragedies in Colorado but also because in this film, which could have easily been a testosterone fueled joy-ride, he let the heroines shine.
Anne Hathaway as Catwoman is so bad ass Buffy-level fierce, I adore her. And highly recommend seeing this movie if for nothing else, to take some power away from the truly insane and evil events that transpired in our country.
And now for the unnecessary pictures of the Nooge, who is driving me batshit crazy as usual.
Attached to the curtain (note that I am taking pictures, yet offering no assistance):
I saw my first lightening bug tonight. As if the 90 + degree heat and oppressive humidity weren't enough to alert me to the fact that summer is here, this sealed it.
Do you guys have lightening bugs (or fireflies, or glowworms, however you call them) where you are or are they strictly a southern thing? I love them.
Of course, I'm a sucker for anything that glows.
To my sister: Hey! Remember that time when you were little and we saw that lightening bug fly into the spider web and then the spider got him and slaughtered him mercilessly and then we had to tell you that he had escaped and flew away but it was pretty obvious by his frantic buzzing that he was in the throes of death? Yeah...remember that? Good times.
I hope we can afford to get the air conditioner in the old beater fixed for summer or driving around in this heat is gonna be a bitch...and so am I.
I am many things. A natural born motivator is not one of them. However, this is something I am desperately trying to change. And I think I can (I think I can!) if I really set my mind to it.
Because one thing I am is impressionable. And imprintable. Okay, two things. I'm also a listmaker, taskmaster...okay, four, four things that I am.
And these four qualities will help me achieve my new goal of being an individual who is healthier, more organized, and living a more purposeful life.
Oh, yeah. I'm spittin' some serious troofs up in herra. Now, I'm not going to go overboard, balls to the wall, all encompassing life changey with this new plan. I'm going to start with small, barely noticeable, tiny little baby steps that take little to no effort on my part.
Because of the lazy thing.
But I do believe this will be easier than I think if I just stick to it, because, as mentioned, I am impressionable and imprintable. Impressionable in that if I see someone else's idea that I think is a really good one, I immediately want to steal it incorporate it into my own life and claim it as make it my own.
Imprintable in that if I read something, or see something, that I feel that I need to do even if I don't want to, that thought sticks with me and needles me for all eternity until I finally succumb to the urge, and just fucking do it already.
Prime example: I read on Pinterest (duh) that one of the best cleaning tips in the world was to "never leave a room empty handed". At first, I scoffed. But then I started thinking about it and dammit if it didn't make sense. You'd be amazed at how uncluttered your living space will be when you pick up a glass, a paper, a sock, a pin, what have you, on your way to another room. Especially if you have to pee as much as I do, and you have to practically pass through the kitchen and the bedroom of my house to get to the bathroom, and these are the rooms where most of my belongings live.
So, there's that. And I do it every fucking time now. My hands feel empty if I leave the room without something in them, something that needs to be put in its proper place, and needless to say, most of my shit is put away (as is the Rottenator's, though no thanks to him. Half of the time it's his shit that's left out and getting put away, but whatever) and the house is pretty damned clutter free. Which is a relatively new concept for me. It's pretty awesome.
So, that tiny little thought was the impetus of this grand scheme of mine to make a list of things I really should do every day with the hopes that these little simple ideas will just ingrain themselves in me until it becomes second nature, and voilà , a brand new lifestyle.
So, here is the beginning of it, in a nutshell. Lazy Girl's Plan To Not Be As Lazy (Morning Edition):
Jump in the shower as soon as I open my eyes in the morning, no matter what time it is.
This seems so simple, yet is SOOOO difficult to do. I mean, I'm a horrible morning person. It takes a good few hours for me to even function, or to resist the urge to murder everyone (much to the Rottenator's fear and dismay). But the way I see it, I always feel better after a shower, more energized, and already being clean makes me that much more motivated to get a start on the day...even if that start is nothing more than sitting in front of my computer for 12+ hours.
Besides, by the time I realize what the hell is going on, I'm already half showered, and feeling better already. Win. Plus, this gives me time to plan out my day, because most of my important and best thinking is done in the shower, of course.
Also, I think this gives my body time to wake up. Normally, the first thing I do when I open my eyes is think "What is there to eat in this God forsaken house?" Yeah, no. This is not good, because this leads to diving into a bag of potato chips before my stomach even knows it's awake. And I feel like shit all day when I start with craptacular food, so I'm thinking this whole shower thing will give my stomach time to realize that it's not really that damn hungry and wouldn't that yogurt really be better than the greasy potato chips that will leave it quite nauseous? Probably.
So, that brings us to first meal of the day, and I use that term loosely.
Replace my starting beverage of Nectar of the Gods Diet Cherry Pepsi with water.
I know, I know. I'm saying it to myself: "What bitch? No caffeine in the morning? You be trippin'!" Now, stay with me, I use the term "water" very loosely. In that, what I mean, is crystal lite, because plain water tastes like spit to me, and I can't do it. I abhor it. But Crystal Lite makes a wonderful caffeine infused flavor powder so I can still get my caffeine, increase my water intake, and make my pill taking easier. Because, yay for me, I do take a multi-vitamin horse pill every morning, though I'm pretty sure it has a placebo effect on me. I don't know how much good it actually does, but I notice when I don't take it. What I also notice, and this is not just a placebo effect, is when I don't take my Prilosec (what up, P?) every morning, because I have stomach issues (more on that later, possibly) so I always take two pills in the morning. Two pills that are hard to gag down (that's what she...) with DCP, and water makes the medicine go down much more effortlessly, so, again, win.
For tomorrow: Lunchtime and Beyond. Maybe. So far, this plan is currently under construction, so in keeping with my lazy nature, I'm going to continue this at a later date. But I wanted to at least get this down "in print" so to speak, and release it to the universe in the hopes that I'll actually put this plan into action tomorrow morning.
21. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first?
This is a tough one...I went through the various options: mind control, reading people's minds, the power to making people's brains explode, flying. But I don't know...
mind control: I would be WAY too dangerous to be entrusted with this shit.
reading people's minds: I don't think I really want to know how people feel about me...after all, that's why I avoid confrontation now. Besides, I saw that Buffy episode; that shit will drive you nuts.
flying: I used to think I wanted to fly because then I could travel ALL around the world, but what's the point of being able to fly and travel if you don't have the $ to enjoy yourself? Which leads me to my superpower of choice:
Invisibility. Because if I could make my self invisible at will, then I could steal all the $ I needed to travel wherever I wanted to. Win/win.
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
I can't even fathom thinking about this one. I've learned my lesson about even thinking about where I'll be tomorrow, much less 5 years from now.
23. List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.
Cooking: it relaxes me, and I love to feed people and make them happy because that's how I show my love. It's a very unhealthy relationship with food, I recognize this.
Gardening: I like creating things that are pretty.
Pinterest: it really does make you feel productive and creative though you're doing nothing but sitting in front of your computer.
Reading: escaping into a fantasy world for a few minutes is always a nice diversion.
watching TV: it serves as pleasant background noise.
24. Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.
Huh...I'm not quite sure how to answer this one. Depends on your definition of family. I live with a member of the opposite sex now, which, growing up with nothing but girls in the house, adds a whole new ick factor that I'm not accustomed to because boys are messy and gross no matter what age they are. Oh! I guess the question means your "original" family, like parents and siblings. Well, we're not all crammed into one house together anymore, so that's different. The good part about that is that I think we're closer now because of it.
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
King Henry VIII of England; I could totally go for one of those big ass royal banquets.
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
That any "one" religion is the ONLY religion. That you can't be a kind, decent, spiritual, loving, respectful person unless you conform to their particular belief system. Organized religion, and I include all faiths in this, has really fucked the human race up.
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
My eyes. I've got really good eyes. You really can tell a lot about somebody by the look in their eyes.
28. What is your love language?
What the fuck is a love language? Is it a foreign language that I love? In that case, Italian. A language that I love in my native tongue? In that case, vulgar. This is a stupid question.
29. What do you think people misunderstand most about you?
I think that most people, especially those that don't know me very well, think that I am a lot nicer than I actually am. I'm really quite the intolerant bitch.
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.
I've gotten a lot of requests from the voices in my head inquiring about the status of the triplets and I just want to assure all of you that they are actually doing fine!
There were some concerns early on; all of the original blooms died and fell off and that's when I decided that I would just leave it in Mother Nature's hands, helping out with an occasional lackluster watering if the soil looked particularly dry, but I wasn't going to stress about it anymore.
And then I walked outside about a week ago and saw this:
Could it...could it be? Like one little sad purple wonky angel on top of a Christmas tree, there was a bloom. (Incidentally, this is also when I decided on their names. The one in the middle is Angel, natch).
And then this morning, it looked like Spike couldn't have Angel stealing all his thunder, so he stepped up his game.
Oh, yeah! We are in business. Buffy (on the left) is a petite little thing, but she does have new buds, so here's hoping she'll catch up with the other two and we'll be on our way to a magnificent display of purplosity.
Once these three get going, I may be trusted to begin the transformation of my water garden, which I hope will also be spectacular.
And don't even bother to ask about the seed trays. They did not fair so well. I never claimed to be a patient gardener; I'm more of the make-minimal-effort-expect-immediate-results kind.
I've been sitting here trying to formulate my thoughts into words to express how I'm feeling at this moment in life and I'm coming up with f-all. It's just so difficult because I don't even know how I'm feeling myself. I'm not sad or depressed, far from it, in fact, everything seems to be going really well, actually. But I'm not...happy or content. I'm more like: "So this is my life...okay...I can live with this, I guess." But I'm not excited about it. Because what does it all matter, really? The end result is still the same...nothingness.
Well, (you say to yourself imaginary reader), that certainly sounds like depression. But it really isn't. I'm okay, I really am. I just feel like I'm sleepwalking through my life.
But then I realized...why struggle with putting all of this onto paper (so to speak) when Buffy and Joss Whedon have already expressed so eloquently EXACTLY how I'm feeling at this moment in my life. God bless BTVS, man. There is an episode, a scene, or a quote for everything, isn't there? Kind of like the television version of Pinterest. And yeah, I know that the credits are backwards, but this was the clearest video clip I could find, so deal.
Ooh! I just figured out how to express my feelings in one succinct little sentence: I feel like I'm in purgatory (non-catholic readers feel free to go hereto find out what that is). It's like God's little waiting room. That's where I am...except I'm still alive...or AM I? I could trip out on that thought for days...
