Sunday, May 20, 2012

Lazy Girl Is (Trying Not to Be) Lazy

I am many things.  A natural born motivator is not one of them.  However, this is something I am desperately trying to change.  And I think I can (I think I can!) if I really set my mind to it.

Because one thing I am is impressionable.  And imprintable. Okay, two things.  I'm also a listmaker, taskmaster...okay, four, four things that I am.

And these four qualities will help me achieve my new goal of being an individual who is healthier, more organized, and living a more purposeful life.

Oh, yeah.  I'm spittin' some serious troofs up in herra. Now, I'm not going to go overboard, balls to the wall, all encompassing life changey with this new plan.  I'm going to start with small, barely noticeable, tiny little baby steps that take little to no effort on my part.

Because of the lazy thing.

But I do believe this will be easier than I think if I just stick to it, because, as mentioned, I am impressionable and imprintable.  Impressionable in that if I see someone else's idea that I think is a really good one, I immediately want to steal it incorporate it into my own life and claim it as make it my own. 

Imprintable in that if I read something, or see something, that I feel that I need to do even if I don't want to, that thought sticks with me and needles me for all eternity until I finally succumb to the urge, and just fucking do it already.

Prime example:  I read on Pinterest (duh) that one of the best cleaning tips in the world was to "never leave a room empty handed".  At first, I scoffed.  But then I started thinking about it and dammit if it didn't make sense.  You'd be amazed at how uncluttered your living space will be when you pick up a glass, a paper, a sock, a pin, what have you, on your way to another room.  Especially if you have to pee as much as I do, and you have to practically pass through the kitchen and the bedroom of my house to get to the bathroom, and these are the rooms where most of my belongings live.

So, there's that.  And I do it every fucking time now.  My hands feel empty if I leave the room without something in them, something that needs to be put in its proper place, and needless to say, most of my shit is put away (as is the Rottenator's, though no thanks to him.  Half of the time it's his shit that's left out and getting put away, but whatever) and the house is pretty damned clutter free.  Which is a relatively new concept for me.  It's pretty awesome.

So, that tiny little thought was the impetus of this grand scheme of mine to make a list of things I really should do every day with the hopes that these little simple ideas will just ingrain themselves in me until it becomes second nature, and voilà, a brand new lifestyle.

So, here is the beginning of it, in a nutshell.  Lazy Girl's Plan To Not Be As Lazy (Morning Edition):
  • Jump in the shower as soon as I open my eyes in the morning, no matter what time it is.
This seems so simple, yet is SOOOO difficult to do.  I mean, I'm a horrible morning person.  It takes a good few hours for me to even function, or to resist the urge to murder everyone (much to the Rottenator's fear and dismay).  But the way I see it, I always feel better after a shower, more energized, and already being clean makes me that much more motivated to get a start on the day...even if that start is nothing more than sitting in front of my computer for 12+ hours.

Besides, by the time I realize what the hell is going on, I'm already half showered, and feeling better already.  Win.  Plus, this gives me time to plan out my day, because most of my important and best thinking is done in the shower, of course.

Also, I think this gives my body time to wake up.  Normally, the first thing I do when I open my eyes is think "What is there to eat in this God forsaken house?"  Yeah, no.  This is not good, because this leads to diving into a bag of potato chips before my stomach even knows it's awake.  And I feel like shit all day when I start with craptacular food, so I'm thinking this whole shower thing will give my stomach time to realize that it's not really that damn hungry and wouldn't that yogurt really be better than the greasy potato chips that will leave it quite nauseous?  Probably.

So, that brings us to first meal of the day, and I use that term loosely.
  •  Replace my starting beverage of Nectar of the Gods Diet Cherry Pepsi with water.
I know, I know.  I'm saying it to myself: "What bitch?  No caffeine in the morning?  You be trippin'!"  Now, stay with me, I use the term "water" very loosely.  In that, what I mean, is crystal lite, because plain water tastes like spit to me, and I can't do it.  I abhor it.  But Crystal Lite makes a wonderful caffeine infused flavor powder so I can still get my caffeine, increase my water intake, and make my pill taking easier.  Because, yay for me, I do take a multi-vitamin horse pill every morning, though I'm pretty sure it has a placebo effect on me.  I don't know how much good it actually does, but I notice when I don't take it.  What I also notice, and this is not just a placebo effect, is when I don't take my Prilosec (what up, P?) every morning, because I have stomach issues (more on that later, possibly) so I always take two pills in the morning.  Two pills that are hard to gag down (that's what she...) with DCP, and water makes the medicine go down much more effortlessly, so, again, win.

For tomorrow: Lunchtime and Beyond.  Maybe.  So far, this plan is currently under construction, so in keeping with my lazy nature, I'm going to continue this at a later date.  But I wanted to at least get this down "in print" so to speak, and release it to the universe in the hopes that I'll actually put this plan into action tomorrow morning. 

Baby steps, people.

How I'm Feeling Right Now:


  1. Your own original idea to never leave a room empty-handed is fucking brilliant. I'm a 2 birds with one stone kind of chick, so I don't know why I've not thought of this. I will implement it with everyone in my family, except for the baby, who operates with the opposite philosophy- bring something that you own into the living room every time you enter it, and leave it there for unsuspecting parents to step on. I also love the showering first idea, as I sit here unshowered and sipping my coffee, dehydrating myself even further. After the coffee, I WILL drink a glass of water and shower, though, so maybe I, too, will get motivated to do something productive.

  2. *Update: I am still not showered, and am currently imbibing a delicious Diet Cherry Dr. Pepper, which is far superior to your Pepsi, by the way. I can quit any time I want. You don't know me!


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