Monday, May 28, 2012

Do I Hafta?

So, tomorrow is the BIG day, the first day of the new job.  I'm not as nervous as I normally would be when starting a new endeavor, so that's a plus.  It's weird, but I realized today that another advantage of having lost all that weight is that I, though I may not realize it on a daily basis, have better self esteem about myself.  I no longer feel that nearly debilitating panic upon entering into a new situation of "OMG, will I be the fattest person there?  Do I have anything appropriate to wear that I can fit into?  Will I find myself in some uncomfortable situation where I will have to sit on a less than sturdy piece of furniture fearing it will break, or squeeze in between two desks, apologizing to people as they shove their chairs out of the way with either disgruntled (more often than not), amused or (hardly ever) sympathetic expressions on their faces?

Not this time.  I will be just another generic, slightly overweight, nondescript middle aged chick in understated office-casual clothes on her first day, and that's not a bad thing.

Still and all...the nerves.  Or maybe it's just a dislike of any change in my routine, though my daily routine has mostly consisted of sitting around in my fancy pants (code name for pajama bottoms), playing Zynga games on Facebook, with occasional spurts of cooking and/or cleaning like a braless wonder.

And I am so grateful for this job, and the opened doors and possibilities that it's going to offer me.  You will not hear me mention my religious beliefs very often, I prefer to keep those private for now, but I do thank the higher powers for hearing my plea for help, and giving me this opportunity.  That I will make the most of.

That doesn't change the general (not altogether unpleasant) churning of my brain and stomach as I type this and make my way towards the bed.

I will have a new companion tonight.  Sir Nigel Wentworth Noogington, Esq. does not like to be alone...ever, so the Rottenator's idea of fixing him a palate on our bedroom floor was completely unnecessary and unwanted, and our bed was held hostage by a one pound ball of orange fluff who slept in between us like a furry little chastity belt.  At least tonight it will be just the two of us as the Rottenator is at work, so here's hoping I'm able to get some kind of decent sleep so I'm not a zombie tomorrow.

Though I will miss my mid-morning nap.

That being said, as excited and nervous as I am about tomorrow, a part of me can't help but think of one of my favorite scenes from one of the all-time greatest work place movies, "Office Space".

How I'm Feeling Today:

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