Did You Ever Know You're My Hero?

It's kind of weird when you are a woman and you realize that you are not necessarily equipt with those natural instincts to procreate and mother young offspring; in fact, you realize that you are more like a panda mom, or an elephant mom who tries to stomp your children to death in order to avoid taking care of them.

My sister is amazemballs and I love her children to death, and when I am privileged to observe what she has to deal with on a daily basis...I am completely in awe.

I don't know where the mominator instinct bypassed me, but it did.  Hell, I can barely deal with a moody cat, but I visit my sister and watch her handle three headstrong (albeit hilariously intelligent) children with utmost patience and understanding, and I am completely impressed.

She is patiently answering questions about the same subject over and over again, and tending tantrums and minor injuries with seemingly effortlessness while I am in the background arguing with my nearly 8 year old niece about how she's going to ruin my one umbrella, my ONE umbrella, and you have it on the grass, and now it's half damaged, and I don't care if your birthday is two weeks after mine, it's my birthday this weekend, and give me my umbrella and stop breaking stuff already!

God, you would think I was an only child, and I know that you are already thinking the same thing: thank GOD she has not procreated.

I am an awesome aunt, however.  I'll give myself that.  There is nothing better than little kids that just love you for you and are so excited to see you when you come to visit.  And I will volunteer to babysit them anytime, anywhere, because we always have hilarious adventures together.

And I will always make sure that I'm the one that they can call when they need bail money. All I ask for is a group hug at the end of it like the one I got this weekend.

My sister made sure I had an awesome birthday, full of Crimson Tide and Hello Kitty and pickle dip and pee wee football (those parents are kray kray!) and it was exactly what I needed.  Turning 24 (ahem) has never felt so awesome. 

Especially the purple Hello Kitty purse...don't hate.

Two (TWO!) Mood Ring(tones) of the Day:

Sometimes It's Hard To Be A Woman

So one of the girls I work with stopped by to talk to me and took one look at my hands and said, "Oh wow...I don't think I've ever seen your nails like that."

Like what?  Not manicured?  Yeah, I suppose you have not, heifer.  Thanks for noticing.

Did I mention that the Rottenator and I are saving up to buy a second car so we've cut out the "extras"?

And extras mean nails and haircuts and perfume and food other than Hamburger Helper and Beans and Rice...

But it's for a good cause.  And I'm on board...kinda...though I do miss my nails.

I don't miss the process, however.  I always enjoyed the look of my nails after a manicure, but I never enjoy the sitting and making conversation with complete strangers.  Just do my nails, okay?  No time for chit chat, not necessary.

Different from a pedicure. I do love a spa pedicure, I have to say.  I'm all about massages and pedicures and that sort of pampering.

But nails and haircuts; those I see almost as doctor's appointments: necessary, but not exactly enjoyable.

I do miss my perfume, though.  I've recently discovered Jo Malone, who is a "perfumer" I guess, I don't know the technical term for it, from London, and every scent she has is deliciously yummy!  I ordered a samplers pack of her fragrances from Ebay before the lockdown on the cash, and fell in love.

She makes me feel girly.  I'm not the girliest of girls but I do like to feel pretty on occasion. I find it's more and more difficult the deeper into my 40s I get.

It's weird: a part of me, especially when I was really heavy, wanted to be someone that just disappeared into the crowd and was barely noticed, but that's an odd feeling, too.  Because now I am just a middle-aged generic woman who is easily forgotten, never gets a second look, and is just kind of...there.

First world problems, right?  That being said, I do miss the days of being able to dye my hair purple, wear Doc Martens and Hello Kitty, and have my tongue pierced.

Those were the days...but I wasn't any happier then.  It's funny how the older we get, the more we romanticize our past instead of remembering how it really was.

All being said, life is okay right now.  And if skipping a few nail appointments and hair cuts means that I can see Harry Potter and we can get another car, I'll make the sacrifice.

My Mood Ring(tone) Of The Day:

Money Can't Buy...what, exactly?

Whoever said "Money can't buy happiness" was obviously an obnoxiously rich depressed fuck or some hairy arm-pitted hippy, because, lemme tell you, having a little bit of scratch does make the world better.

No, the Rottenator and I are not rolling in it yet, but our financial situation is more stable than it has ever been in the entire time we've been together, and although we still have our quibbles and squabbles, our relationship is better too.

Because you know what?  Money can buy a reliable car, dinners at mid-scales buffets, a little peace of mind, and lots of cat treats and e-cig accessories.

Which leads to less stress.  And less stress = less violently angry Rottenator which makes the world a more enjoyable place.

The way to a man's heart truly is through his stomach...and his love of football.

Which why this jersey:

And tickets to this game this weekend:

are probably the best purchases of my life.

Other than this:

In other me related news, I had a great time at my sister's house this weekend, babysitting her chirren:

who are just the most hilarious and beautiful children in the word.  It was my sister's birthday, so I purchased these for her (she's a Gamecock and Bill Murray fan, obvs):

In fact, I don't believe I would be exaggerating if I were to say that Bill Murray needs to hire extra security.

Just sayin'.

So anyhoo, things are still going well.  New trainer at work, hurrah!  Which makes it a lot better.  Speaking of that, I think that the US of A needs to rethink it's work schedule.  Or at least my company does, because 4 days on/3 days off leaves me much more motivated.  In fact, even after a weekend away from home, I still managed to do laundry, clean the house, go to the grocery store, and post some mail.  Having a free day during the normal "work week" should be a routine...for me, of course, not for everyone else, because then I wouldn't be able to get my shit done, which would defeat the purpose.


To recap:

New car...

New washer and dryer...

New accessories for the car...

Life is pretty darn okay right now.  Only two things would  make it complete...

New Rottenator and new Nooge?  Say what!??!

I kid...kinda...

My Mood Ring(tone) of the Day:

Episodes

So, I'm watching the Emmy's and realized that I no longer watch enough television to relate to the Emmy's or even really enjoy them anymore.  I blame television programming more than I blame myself.


Even though I did take the advice of a friend and finally caught up on this show called "Episodes" on Showtime starring Matt LeBlanc from, ironically enough, Friends.  Of course, it's on Showtime, so I guess all television is not bad...just network television.


Here's a clip from the episode I related to the most because it dealt with LeBlanc's growing old and getting fat.  Unfortunately, I couldn't find a clip of the very end, where he's watching old footage of himself while eating an entire cheesecake, but this was funny too.

This was my birthday weekend, and overall, it was a success. My sister did a particularly excellent job of celebrating the wonder that is me by providing a Pinterest worthy spread of Japanese food, including crab rangoon dip, pb & j sushi rolls, beef skewers with yum-yum sauce and a Hello Kitty cake!

As my brother-in-law said, "just what every adult needs".  Indeed.  I even shared my rings with my nieces...some of them.

Oh, and when I arrived back at Bella Cucina, I found two big boxes awaiting me and they contained these wondrous delights:

Purple retro diner barstools!  They are totally awesome sauce, and expertly put together...by me...alone.  Which is why they are put together correctly...unlike our new entertainment center...which is put together assbackwards...with unpainted particle boards staring out at me like ugly scars that haunt my nightmares.  Yes, I'm looking at you, Rottenator.  With your non-direction reading, no-patience having ass.

These chairs, however, are perfect and beautiful and I've made myself nauseous and almost barfed numerous times by spinning around in them and sitting up really high so I can pretend I'm tall.  They're also Nooge-approved.

More angles from which to attack.

I also got two lovely cards; one from my niece, the Artist-Futurally-Known-As-Victoria:

And even the Rottenator showed he had a heart:

Though this doesn't make up for the fact that he also ate the leftovers of my birthday dinner behind my back and polished off the White Chocolate Reeses but left the empty bag in the candy drawer.  WTF, doesn't he know me and my food issues by now?!!! Whatever.

I also bought myself some birthday goodies.

Finish date TBD

Shark Footie Pajamas!

Cute, right?

These are not, unfortunately, Nooge-approved.

Protective gear

And I'm finally joining the Smart-world; only 1 gig too late, but I'm still excited...

I'm purple, biatch!

So perhaps I'll soon be able to post pics with better quality than these:

Let me help you with that typo.

All in all, a successful birthday, so there's no reason to feel depressed and anxious...none at all...

My Mood Ring(tone) of the day:

I was a part of it...

The only good thing about this god-awful business trip to New Jersey was the one night and few hours I got to spend in NYC.  It's been about 13 years since I've been there and I've been anxious to go back so I was happy for the opportunity.

Not much about the city has changed; however, I have.  The hustle and bustle of Times Square, the endless suffocating crowds and the brusque, hurriedly rude pace of the New Yorkers no longer appeals to me.  Yes, I will go back, but whereas before, I always thought I could live happily in the big Apple, I realize at this age that...nah, I'd prefer not to. 

Plus, I don't have the zillions of dollars it would take to sustain my ideal urban lifestyle.  I am no longer young enough to be satisfied with a 12 story, roach infested, walkup closet as my domicile.  And as I cannot yet afford a Wall Street or Olson twins type of penthouse apartment, I'll live happily in my two bedroom house with Bella Cucina quite happily.

And drag the Rottenator into the city for a vacation at least once during Christmas time.  He did promise, after all.

In the meantime, here are some stereotypical but very representative pictures of Times Square. which included my own personal Hello Kitty Graceland.

Yes, I stood and stared in awe with my mouth hanging open at all the adorableness. I may have even drooled a little. But I also restrained myself.  Only $60 spent to indulge my psychotic endearing obsession hobby.

Requisite Black and White cookie, natch

Lincoln Tunnel drive in courtesy of Meryl

Time Square

And...the Holy Mecca...

Couldn't you almost DIE of the cuteness?  I almost did...

Doesn't this guy look excited to be working around all of the 4 and 40 year old females who were shrieking with delight?

And this is what awaited me upon my return home.

My own personal Hello Kitty terror.  It is good to be home.

My Mood Ring(tone) of the Day: