Confidence, I Needs Some

So tell me..what does it feel like to be semi-successful at a job that you hate? Is it worth it? All of my reviews and call monitoring have been positive (aka "Kathleen is awesome say what?!") but still..the calls they don't hear are filled with self doubt and upper lip sweat.  *sigh*

I hate that this job is affecting me so deeply, but on the other hand, I blame it on the weather and the lack of vitamin D.

That's right people, it has rained 43 fucking days in a row.  No joke; it's probably rained 2 inches in the time it took me to compose this sentence.  How do you lot in the Pacific NW of NA or in the UK even deal with this?  My hair is protesting.

Anyhoo, I know that I should post more often, but there is actually nothing going on other than my daily routine.

I guess I should say:

New Girl: It's on Netflix now; I really REALLY wanted to like this show, but alas, I do not.  It is no Buffy or even Freaks and Geeks...or even Bones...or god forbid, How I Met Your Mother.

 PS for the last one: I forgive you, Willow...and Doogie...moving on...

I'm going to Dragoncon in Atl in September with my family and I need to pick out an appropriate costume. We are going as characters in the Whedonverse, so if you have any suggestions for any costumes for middle-aged overweight red headed women, I'm all ears...and fat rolls.

Meanwhile the Rottenator recently reminded me of this song because he stated that the Animals were the best British-invasion group to ever hit the US...above the Beatles and the Rolling Stones, but you know what, I could not fight him too much because the Animals did rock...

Thus behold, my Mood Ring(tone) Of The Day:  and btw, is it just me or does the lead singer Eric Burdon remind you of a young Gary Oldman?  I'm just saying..of course, I also think that Gary looks like Sid Vicious so who am I to judge....

I'm Southern And I Know It...

Don't get me wrong, I do love living in the south, and I love all the pretty little flowers of spring. The tulip trees, the azaleas, the daffodils and whatnot but OH MY GOD:

Everything is covered with this yellow crap down here.  We had an incredibly mild winter so everything is blooming full force and although it is going to be spectacular and beautiful, I will not be here to enjoy it because I will have suffocated underneath all of this pollen.

Incidentally, have you ever seen pollen underneath a microscope?

This is the nasty stuff that attaches itself to your lungs and mucus membranes and everything else and causes you not to breathe for a good four months out of the year.

However, I guess I shouldn't complain because I know that even though we are officially into the Spring season, Mother Nature is not recognizing this fact in many areas of the US of A.

Meanwhile, in Chicago...

Meanwhile, in Colorado...

Meanwhile in Indy:

Meanwhile in Florida (Florida, are you serious?!?!)

So I guess I should keep my mouth (and nose) shut and just be thankful that it's not bitterly cold and snowy and icy down here because in general, Southerners do not handle any adverse weather conditions very well when it comes to operating moving vehicles.

In fact, this pretty much sums up Southerners reaction to any inclement weather:

Roll Tide.

Anyhoo, I have spent my day doing absolutely nothing; it is gray and damp here which is preventing me from my normal spring cleaning OCD fit, so I will just sit and enjoy my marathon of Buffy courtesy of Netflix.

Incidentally, I am also watching Curtis Stone on Food Network, so that affects my Mood Ring(tone) Of The Day:

Which leads me to this:

I'm beginning to think that there is not one aspect of my life that cannot be appropriately captured in an episode of "Scrubs" or "Buffy" or in the movie "Office Space".

The Curse

And no, for once, I am not talking about my monthly "troubles", I'm talking about my jinx...which I guess could also be considered my monthlies, but I digress.

I am not a sports player, nor necessarily an all-around sports fan.  In fact, I didn't really learn to appreciate college football until about three years ago, when the Rottenator barged into my life.

However, I have been known to follow a sports figure or team now or again.  Jim Courier comes prominently to mind.  Have you ever heard of him?  He's a tennis player, he won a few Opens, probably could have won a grand slam, all four Opens in the same year, but he never did.  Know why?  Because I became a fan.  He retired soon after.  A loser.

The list is long of the teams, actors, actresses, athletes, bands, all who have ended up losing that cherished trophy or broken up because I suddenly developed an interest in them.

I'm pretty sure I single-handedly brought down the entire genre of Brit Pop.  You're either welcome, or I'm sorry.  Whichever fits.

So this brings me to this weekend.  Normally, I am an Alabama fan.  Luckily, they seem immune to my curse so far but I think that's mostly due to the Rottenator and his undying life-long love for them.  His powers far outreach my own when it comes to things like that.  He is the Yoda to my Obi-Wan.  Thank God.  Because they are looking unstoppable so far this year...knock on wood. For the love of God.

The Gamecocks...not so much.

I attended my first college football game yesterday, at my sister's alma mater, the University of South Carolina.  The Gamecocks.  They have been having a really good season this year, with the exception of the past two weeks where they lost a nail-biter to LSU, and a smackdown by Florida.  But, this weekend, they were playing at home, against the Tennessee Volunteers, and it was pretty much a given that they were going to win.

Which they did...barely...but not without a great deal of damage.

This is Marcus Lattimore.

He is an amazingly talented running back for Carolina.  He practically wins most of their games for them by himself.

This is Marcus Lattimore yesterday, during the game that I attended.

Yeah...so...sorry?  I'm not saying that I'm bad luck or anything but I'm freakin' bad luck!  Well, I can at least take solace in the fact that I'm not the WORST luck, because if that were the case, then I would have taken out Jadaveon Clowney too and the entire season would have been a wash, but as it is, Tennessee has far worse luck than even I can conflict on a team, so they ended up fumbling in the last few minutes of the game, and Carolina ended up winning.

Though I do have a fondness for Tennessee's coach, Derek Dooley.  And losing that game yesterday probably cost him his job.

Oh God.

That being said, the Rottenator and I had a really good time.  And here are the pics to prove it!  And no, it didn't rain.  Yet as cloudy as it was, I ended up with a sunburn.  Yes, I am the palest girl on the planet.  However, now, I am a bonafide redneck.

The Rottenator...and a handsome young man in an Atari shirt

Cocky!  Yes, that is his name

Hootie!  A proud USC alumnus

My hair is pulled back yet still frizzy.

The Little Things...

So, even though I didn't get something accomplished yesterday that would be a BIG deal for me while taken for granted by a lot of other people (i.e., people who can drive), I'm okay today.

For now; it's still early. Things that are okay today:

1. I got some sleep yesterday.
2. The Rottenator and I are one step closer to getting a new car.
3. I got a comforter for $17!  And it's nice.
4. It's fall which means the weather is nice and the holidays are getting closer.
5. I ate a double Whopper yesterday and lost four pounds...in one day.

Which brings me to this point; I shall link to my sister's blog because we have the same problem.  Our bodies are endlessly fascinating, but not in the cool "oooh, look at that, it's so sparkly and lights up and awe-inspiring and beautiful" way like this pumpkin:

I'm purple and sparkly and light up, say what?!?!

But more in a WTF is going on!?!? kind of way.  I can eat ice cubes and celery for a week or eat ice cream and pizza and my body only deviates 5-8 lbs.  The only problem with this is that my body is comfortable at a weight that I am not comfortable with it being...at.

I'd be much more comfortable minus 25-30 lbs, frankly, but I think this would entail exercising and I'm not ready for that kind of commitment yet.

So I'm going to have to deal with this for now.  Oh!  I just realized something!  I had half a bottle of water yesterday so maybe that's why I lost 5lbs.  Take note, sis!  Half a bottle of water is the magic exlir.  Now watch, I'll drink a whole bottle of water today and either wake up 10 lbs lighter, or have gained 15.  Who knows.

But that will not concern me today.
     6. I got a new vacuum cleaner.
     7. I found this in my mother's yard:

Not near a sewer...possibly still a ninja

Just chillin' in her front yard.  You can't see it in the picture, but he had evil orange eyes which prevented me from picking him up despite my sister's urging because she "wanted to see what happened".  Mom says it's a box turtle.  I figured it probably escaped from the teenager who lives next door who probably bought him about 10 years ago when he was the size of a teaspoon and he finally managed the 30 steps to the front yard.

I highly doubt he is a river cooter.  That would have been too cool!  Then I could have totally texted this pic to everyone I've ever met with the title "Check out my cooter!"  And then laughed hysterically because I'm so fucking hilarious.
     8.  I haven't thought about my birthday once today...until now...dammit.
     9.  I got nothing.
    10. I have to end my list in a even number of 10 because not doing so would disrupt the natural order of things.

My  Mood(ring) Tone of the Day:

          

Count Blah

Glad to know I'm not the only one in a funk.

And also good to know it's not entirely period, job or life related.  It's those god dang planets.  And the weather.

So you know how you start a new job and you have high hopes that this is going to be the ONE? The life changer, the new career path?

Yeah, me neither.  Well actually that's not entirely true. I had a job once where I had high hopes that it was the ONE.  Well, it turned out (through both its fault and my own) not to be, so I floundered around for a while (you know, almost dying, wasting my life, working retail...actually those three things could be one in the same couldn't they?) until I found this one and I thought...

Okay.  I can do this.  It's a job, pays pretty well, good benefits, kinda-sorta similar to what I've done before, low key and low pressure, I'll take it.

Well, it's kicking my ass.  And it's not even the job yet; it's the training of the job that I'm finding hard to deal with so what the HELL is going to happen when I actually start the job itself?  I dunno...I hope I can handle it.  I'm filled with self-doubt, not necessarily about my abilities...well, that's not true.  I do doubt my abilities.

I hear all the time "you're smart, you'll get it, you'll catch on, you'll be fine" but I'm not as young as I used to be kiddos, and my brain realizes this.  Unfortunately.

It doesn't help that my trainer sucks and even the people who claim to be struggling and not "getting it" seem FAR more advanced and further along in their knowledge and abilities than I.

And it doesn't help that the one guy who started with me, Little Man Tate, certified idiot, has done better on our assessment test than myself.  It sucks.  He sucks, he doesn't give two shits about this job, and is excelling.  What...The...Hell...I don't get it.

I have my second test next Tuesday.  And I hope I'll be fine. It's not the "if you fail, you get fired" biggie exam, but it's still pressure.

So I'm glad to know it's the planets working against me.  And I'll be happy for the long weekend...that I'll probably spend studying.

Is it Friday yet?

Here's this, which I thought of when I titled this post; I'm probably the only person on the planet who remembers and loved this show (Seth Green can do no wrong).

My Mood Ring(tone) of the Day:

Quick aside: this is my 100th post.  A minor milestone of sorts.  Hurrah.  Wish it wasn't such a downer.

Everything's Hotter In Texas...

supposedly.  Tell that to the SC/GA border, because it sucks balls to leave 104 degree weather to return home to 106 degrees.

I've long told people that the whole "dry heat" thing was bullshit: hot is hot. But oh, how I was wrong.  No, it really is different.  It really is the humidity that kills you.  And I am definitely feeling near death.

But I am home!  Finally, after a frantic near-miss of a connecting flight at Atlanta Hartsfield/Jackson, which my thighs are still screaming at me about after my two terminal sprint towards my final destination.  And I have to tell you...this business trip was much better than I expected.  It was, dare I say, actually fun.

I don't know if it's my age or my relatively "normal" weight which made this the most comfortable business trip I have ever taken but whatever the combination, I am grateful for it.  Never in my life have I felt so at ease meeting new people but this time I have felt a peace about it that I have never before experienced.  I think the weight thing definitely played a part because for once I have clothes that I am relatively comfortable wearing and I don't fear being in cramped spaces or having to squeeze into a desk or breaking a chair.  I would like to say age is a factor because I do not give a fuck what people think but I don't believe that could be completely it because let's face it: what is the age where a woman honestly doesn't give a fuck about her looks?  I don't think I'm quite there yet because as I sat with a 35 year old (who expressed surprise when I revealed that I was 40) and a 25 year old (who said "yeah no wonder you feel old") the age thing was obviously still a factor.

Whatever the reason I enjoyed myself immensely in the great state of Texas and I was reasonably relieved to arrive home to find that my own house wasn't in complete disarray after the Rottenator and the Nooge enjoyed a week of unsupervised bacherlorhoodness together.  Though there was an unsettling lack of tp that almost ended my relationship (when will boys learn that girls wipe EVERYTIME they use the bathroom?  And what do boys use as tp when they run out of tp?  I don't even want to know...)

Bottom line: I was social, I did not lock myself in my hotel room as is my usual habit, and I remained steely in my resolve to avoid any forbidden temptations even though I was surrounded by them on numerous occasions.

Oh, and the hotel...oh, the hotel.  With the 65 degree thermostat, daily cleaning, and king sized bed with adjustable mattress firmness...I think I shall miss you most of all.  *sniff*

I was also surrounded by mountains.  Who woulda thunk it?  Texas has mountains!

For your viewing pleasure:

Texas mountains!

Me photobombing a Texas mountain!

Me taking pics of mountains while on a social shopping excursion!

Me being social by taking dinner pics!

Me watching others partake at dinner and judging socially!

Me taking pics of a loud mariachi band while being social at dinner!

 

 

 

    

The Nooge, gazing at me adoringly upon my return to being anti-social.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Struck By Lightening

I saw my first lightening bug tonight. As if the 90 + degree heat and oppressive humidity weren't enough to alert me to the fact that summer is here, this sealed it.

Do you guys have lightening bugs (or fireflies, or glowworms, however you call them) where you are or are they strictly a southern thing?  I love them.

Of course, I'm a sucker for anything that glows.

To my sister: Hey!  Remember that time when you were little and we saw that lightening bug fly into the spider web and then the spider got him and slaughtered him mercilessly and then we had to tell you that he had escaped and flew away but it was pretty obvious by his frantic buzzing  that he was in the throes of death?  Yeah...remember that?  Good times.

I hope we can afford to get the air conditioner in the old beater fixed for summer or driving around in this heat is gonna be a bitch...and so am I.

How I'm Feeling Today:

Hair Barometer

Probably the only good thing I can say about having curly hair is that I know what the weather is going to be like for the day within moments of stumbling from my bed in the morning and peering at my reflection in the bathroom mirror.

For example, when I awoke today, and was greeted by an image scowling back at me which looked much like this:

I knew it was going to be humid and rainy all day.  Which means that my hair will be beaten and tortured into submission until it resembles something like this:

**I'll also be sporting the Kristin Stewart pout**

Moral of the story: much as you should never trust a thin chef, you should never believe a bald weatherman.

Stupid Weather

So...hey there, Mother Nature, so, like, do you have it in for my sickly Tulip tree in particular (because it's all about me, remember, yeah, you probably get that by now) or do you just hate SC in general?  Because we had all of TWO days of cold weather, and BOOM...my poor little barely blooming masterpiece was destroyed, and now all the pretty little blossoms look like the above.  Sad sight, really.  My chlamydia did take a beating as well...wait, is that right?  Chlamydia?  Or am I thinking of something else?  Oh, right, Camelias.  That other thing is something I would definitely be okay with you killing, not that I have it.  No, seriously, I don't.  Jokes, people.

Moving on, Goddess of the Earth, are are you going to stick around to kill the azaleas, too?  I wouldn't mind that, actually, because that is the one plant on the planet that sends my allergies into overdrive and leaves me in a snotty miserable state, so go ahead, zap away. But leave the peaches alone.