I am not necessarily political, but seriously Republicans, get the fuck over yourselves. The Affordable Healthcare Act is a fucking LAW.
I have never been embarrassed to be an American until now. These fuckers that run our country have shut down our government (whilst getting paid their own salaries mind you) and 800,000 federal workers are either furloughed or being told they are going to work without pay.
Blows my fucking mind how obviously racist and classist this country still is.
Just see this, people. And do it if you can. The Bloggess puts it together so much more eloquently than I ever could.
On a personal note, went to visit my sister this weekend to celebrate what my niece claims is her 8th birthday, but you never know with this child, everything that comes out of her mouth I take with a grain of salt.
Don't trust those baby blue eyes
It was a good visit. It's been a good week, actually. Good to have one before the pre-op (boo!) stuff next week.
Oh, and we had a potluck at work, and I took the infamous pickle dip, and it went over like gangbusters, so here is the recipe. You can thank me afterwards.
8 oz cream cheese, softened
16 oz sour cream
1 tsp garlic salt
1 jar refrigerated pickle spears (preferably Claussen)
Whisk together room temp cream cheese and sour cream until smooth. Roughly chop pickles (do not use a processor; hand chop into bite sized chunks). Add chopped pickles to sour cream/cream cheese mixture.
Refrigerate overnight; serve with sturdy plain potato chips. Stand back and prepare to be in awe.
Cheapest, best potluck recipe ever.
Until next time, here is my Mood Ring(tone) of the Day:
So, I'm cheating because I actually made this Friday night, but I haven't had a chance to share it before now because the Rottenator and I enjoyed a mini weekend-vacay which was much needed. And even though it wasn't without its occasional spats, it was still enjoyable.
But moving on...behold: Chicken and Broccoli Alfredo (aka: 50 ways to clog your arteries):
Serves four (if you serve with a Caesar salad and garlic bread):
1 box fettuccine noodles, prepared according to directions
1/2 c butter (one stick)
8oz pkg cream cheese, room temp, cut into four pieces
1 c. heavy cream
1/2 c. grated Parmesan cheese
1 T. garlic powder (or to taste)
black pepper, to taste
2 lb boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cut into bite sized pieces
2 c. fresh broccoli florets
2 T. mayonnaise (or enough to coat chicken pieces)
Italian seasoning blend (like Ms. Dash)
Directions:
Boil pasta according to box directions (12-14 min for fettuccine noodles); in the last four minutes, add broccoli florets, drain, and set aside.
Heat skillet to medium.
In a small bowl, combine chicken pieces, Italian seasoning, and mayo, stir to coat. Add mixture to skillet and saute until chicken is well cooked and browned through; 8-10 min (the mayo keeps it moist).
Place chicken to the side and in the same skillet, melt your stick of butter; once melted, add your cream cheese slowly, incorporating it into the melted butter. Just stir around until the cream cheese is melted; it won't be a smooth sauce until:
You add the cream; keep stirring until this mixture gets smooth; you may want to use a whisk; I didn't have to, the sauce was smooth enough for us, and then I added the grated Parmesan cheese and stirred around until the cheese got melty.
And then I added the chicken pieces and made sure that everything was all mixed together.
And then that big pot that I originally cooked the noodles and broccoli in: I put the noodles and broccoli back into it, and poured the chicken alfredo sauce all over it and mixed until it was a delicious pile of cheesy buttery goodness.
And indeed, I did serve it with garlic bread and a simple salad. And the heavens rejoiced. It was pretty damn awesome.
I am still partial to David Tennant, sorry. Sometimes I just can't let go of the past, but I'm okay with that...which is why I'm going to DragonCon in a t-shirt that celebrates a show that has been off the air for ten years.
I am so frustrated with myself. I had at one point gotten down to an acceptable 155 lbs that I was quite happy with, but over the course of the months of having a miserable job wherein all I do is sit on my ass, I have managed to gain back 25 lbs in a relatively short period of time.
I have had a life long struggle with my weight. And this 25 pounds just discourages me and depresses me even further because I feel like I am losing the tenuous self control I had on myself. And it just seemed to happen overnight.
Logically, I know what to do. Exercise, and eating healthy. Believe me, I know. I have spent most of my life researching both. I know exactly what I should do; it's just having the motivation to do it that I find the most difficulty with.
And this is where I cast the blame on everyone but myself:
We don't have the money to join the gym or the Y.
We don't have the money to spend on healthy food so that's why I'm eating pasta instead of salads.
I don't have the energy after dismal days at work to even think about exercising before or after my 8.5 hours of hell that I have to spend on earth every day.
Burgers and fries taste so much more awesome than turkey and steamed vegetables.
Water tastes like spit, diet soda is just as good.
I just feel so fucking hungry all the time. And it feels like I have nothing else to turn to. I don't drink, don't smoke, don't have any hobbies, nothing else to distract me from wallowing in my misery.
So tell me, what do you do? My mother is getting her pool in order so I'm going to start swimming again, which is awesome, because it is exercise in which I don't have to sweat, and I do love to swim, so there's that, but what else?
I need some other distractions, people. Because I long ago gave up the goal of being the perfect 10. I just want to feel comfortable, happy, and healthy in my own skin.
Another weekend at the beach, yes, I know my life is so hard. Whatever.
Anyway, it was a very nice weekend, with more relaxation than work, and I have come to the decision that I am going to retire at the beach...hopefully within the next year.
In my dreams. OH, but I wish I could, because how I envy the laid back, easy going, island life. Even the Rottenator is in a better mood at the beach. There's just something about it.
So, thanks to my sister and brother-in-law, there was less furniture putting together, and more relaxing, and more eating this weekend, which is good and bad. And I cannot truly distinguish between the two, so I will offer you a mixture of both:
First good and bad: we had time to explore Botany Bay which is a protected nature habitat near Edisto Island which is great if you love birds and wildlife and, as the Rottenator calls them, "tree-hugging hippies". Whatever, is was very pretty, even though the "tour" left much to be desired.
I would insert a bunch of pictures here of our tour and how anti-spectacular it exactly was but for some reason, my phone and my computer are not communicating so you will have to just imagine the spectacular that was the "stone beehive"...and imagine the Rottenator saying, "What...the...fuck...this...is...bullshit..." as he sped up the car and we whizzed by at 100 mph.
And for once, I did not blame him. I was done at the ruins of the plantation house that consisted of a pile of bricks that sat surrounded by what I assume is electronic fencing. And this was after we passed the John Deere tractors. Did they have those back in the 1800s?
Needless to say, the tour was not memorable. But the beach was very nice, and the shells were quite pretty...to look at. Because don't take one, or someone might report you to 1-800-Thief, and then...yeah, well, get ready to pony up that $470 Mister, or you're off to the pokey.
Despite the disappointment of the tour, the beach is very pretty. Au natural, as it were. So, not a wasted walk. I will now offer you up a link of spectacular photos to look at because I cannot provide my own: Gorgeous.
I loved the hermit crabs the most.
Part two of the good and bad: oh my Jeebus did I eat too much this weekend! I mean seriously, I am done. Not just with seafood, but I'm talking all of it: biscuits, chicken, hamburgers, shrimp, red snapper, hollandaise sauce, crab, more shrimp, more burgers, more Rubens, more chips and salsa, Reeses white peanut butter cups, Snickers peanut butter bites, you are all the devil! I renounce you all!
So, moving on, the diet starts tomorrow. Power bar breakfast, yogurt for lunch, lean cuisine for dinner. I'm not fucking around. Just one week of this and I'll be back on course. Because I am pretty fucking sick of my belly jiggling like Santa Claus every time I laugh. Yes, before you start, I have weight issues. I finally got to the point where I am in the "normal" weight range and I'm not about to let it go now, and I see my triggers and I'm catching the problem before it becomes a true issue. This is just me. A daily struggle on how to be healthy.
Meanwhile, my mother is about to get her pool all kinds of fancied up with a new liner so that's how I plan to spend my summer: laps in the pool. Because god knows, the only thing I hate more than excercise is sweating, so I figure, burning off some calories in the pool is a win-win...win.
In the meantime, I adore this tune, so here is My Mood Ring(tone) of the Day:
Are you kidding me, he is in Batman footie pajamas, how could I not love him?
The Rottenator does love his stew. And I welcomed the opportunity to cook something other than Hamburger Helper or Beans and Rice so today's meal of Beef Stew was a happy change of pace.
Behold...
My apologies to Riot Kitty; this one ain't for you ;-)
What you'll need:
2 lbs of stew meat
1 lb red potatoes, cubed, skins on
2 celery hearts, roughly chopped
1 large sweet onion, roughly chopped
1 pt cherry tomatoes, sliced
1 pkg baby carrots, pre-washed and peeled
1 envelope Lipton's Onion Soup mix
1 can cream of mushroom and roasted garlic soup
2 T. flour
2 T. olive oil
1/4 c. Worcestershire sauce
1/4 c. Dale's steak sauce
Seasonings to taste (I'm not giving measurements, because we are a family that loves salt, but really between the soup mix, sauces, and soup you really don't need anymore...but you can't be Southern and not add some Lawry's...)
salt
pepper
garlic powder
non-stick cooking spray (like Pam)
Heat 2 T. olive oil in a pan; sprinkle flour, Lawry's seasoned salt, pepper, and garlic powder over stew meat and toss to coat.
Lightly brown stew meat in pan for seriously, 2-3 min, just enough to seal in those delicious juices.
Spray crockpot with non-stick cooking spray, and throw that stew beef in there.
Chop veggies and throw them all in a big tupperware bowl, lightly salt and pepper and stir to mix them all up. Or pop a top on that bowl and turn it upside down and shake until they're all mixed up and pretty.
In another bowl, pour in worchestershire sauce and Dale's; add soup mix and whisk together. Next, add can of soup, whisk some more until it's smooth.
Throw half of the veggies into the crockpot on top of the stew meat. Add half of your soupy mixture.
Throw the remaining half of veggies into the crockpot, and the rest of the soup sludge.
Top on top of crockpot, cook 6-8 hours, depending on your crockpot. This is my first time trying out my sister's hand-me-down crockpot and she says it's a fast-cooking one, so I'm going for six. It actually took about 8 hours for the potatoes and carrots to get completely done...
Now, a lot of people love crockpots because you can just leave it. I like to check on it every two hours and give it another stir, but that's me. And that's why this meal is best made on a weekend.
Back to work tomorrow, blech! But it's a paycheck that brings me that much closer to The Wizarding World of Harry Potter so I will endure...
My Mood Ring(tone) Of The Day...and this one is dedicated to Riot Kitty because she recently reminded me of one of my favorite movies, and what it is like to grow old gracefully and fabulously.
So the Nooge has an equally annoying and sweet habit of "making biscuits" on any part of my soft and cushy body that he can.
It's very sweet, because it means that he was probably weened too soon, and that he recognizes me as his "mama", so that part is comforting.
The other part is...it hurts like hell because his claws are sharp as fuck, as he is wont to keep them.
Well, tonight he was a little too enthusiastic about his contentment and when he dug in particularly hard, my natural reflex was to smack him away and yell...as one would an annoying and unexpected insect that was causing extreme pain.
And his little face at that reaction when he leapt from my lap and turned back to stare at me with big Puss'n Boots eyes.
And of course I burst into hysterical tears. Because I am PMS-ing, (I think, maybe, who knows), and because I'm equally annoyed with everything in my life.
My job, where every time you turn around, there's another vaguely threatening email about how you will get fired if you step out of line in anyway; my home life, where I have no energy to clean, so my Virgo side is freaking the fuck out about the dustbunnies and floors that need vacuuming, and the eating of craptacular food because we're saving up for another car.
Incidentally, the Rottenator and I did go to PF Changs the other day, which has been our "go-to-mid-range-not-exactly-authentic-but-always-delicious-Asian-restaurant" and they had updated their menu...which included no-more Wok-Seared lamb, which devastated the Rottenator, and they'd added "Shaking Beef"...which made me violently nauseous at least three times during "Jurassic Park 3-D in Imax". Highly disappointing for our one and only date-night in quite a few months.
Just another thing to mark on the list of things that are irritating the fuck out of me in my life.
My Mood(ring) Tones of the Day:
Incidentally, did you know that the Violent Femmes did a cover of this song? Me either!
That's good enough for me; however, it is not good enough for the Rottenator. Mr. "We need to save money for a second car and Harry Potter blah blah blah" would not touch a left-over even if it slapped him in the face and demanded to be eaten.
I don't get it. I can make a beef stew on Sunday, and still be snacking on it for lunch on Tuesday.
The Rottenator, however, is convinced that bacteria starts forming on meat within two hours of it being prepared so he won't touch it.
HOWEVER, he will chow down on a chocolate peanut butter Reeses bunny like it's nobody's business if it's left in a cabinet for more than one day.
He ate the face first. Then finished off the rest of it with abandon.
I relayed this information to my mother who happened to mention that I may possibly have food issues (duh!) and this particular "all the food in the universe is mine don't touch it or I'll cut you" impulse is heriditary.
Good to know I'm crazy for a reason. It seems my father was the same way. In fact, the Mother relayed an incident wherein my father and my godfather left their chocolate bunnies in the refridgerator for more than one hour and she devoured them both and my dad freaked the fuck out. With good reason. My mother's explanation:
"Well I warned them." Are you kidding me? THAT IS NO EXCUSE!!!!
It was MY chocolate peanut butter bunny and there will never be another one like it and you took it from me and now you must suffer and possibly die.
Those are the consequences of touching MY food.
Tell me people, who is right in this situation? And if you say that it's anyone other than me, believe me, I know how to cut a bitch.
Back from Easter vacation at Edisto Beach, SC, and am very sad to be back, I must say. I love the beach. The relaxation, the wind, the waves, the smells, the food...oh, yes the food...
There is no more appropriate place than the beach to enjoy a uniquely southern dish known as "Shrimp and Grits". And oh my God, if you've never had it, then you are missing out:
I decided to indulge this weekend, and had a taste test between two local restaurants (not that there are a lot to choose from on this humble island) and tried out the shrimp and grits at the Sea Cow and the Waterfront...which doesn't have a website, which is so stupid, because they are awesome. And they won this taste test.
Though both were amazeballs. You know what else is amazeballs? Pimento Cheese burgers. Those were enjoyed courtesy of McConkey's Jungle Shack.
So, tomorrow, the diet and the dreaded workweek start again, but in the meantime, I will share with you the best recipes I have ever found for Pimento Cheese and Shrimp and Grits and just a few pics of my lovely holiday weekend.
Pimento Cheese:
6 ounces cream cheese
1/2 cup Vermont extra sharp white cheddar cheese, grated
3/4 cup sharp cheddar cheese, grated
1 cup Monterrey jack cheese, grated
1/2 cup mayonnaise
1 teaspoon red wine vinegar
4 ounces pimientos (in a jar), chopped
1/2 teaspoon onion powder
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1/2 teaspoon paprika
1 dash hot sauce (or more!)
fresh ground black pepper, to taste
Directions:
1
Using a hand held mixer, beat cream cheese until soft.
2
Add the remaining ingredients and beat until creamy and combined.
3
Cover and refrigerate for about an hour.
Ta-da! Then smother it on everything: burgers, fries, celery, crackers, your face, the possibilities are endless!
Bring chicken broth to a boil over medium-high heat; stir
in grits. Cook, stirring occasionally, 5 to 7 minutes or until
thickened. Remove from heat; stir in salt and next 3 ingredients. Set
aside, and keep warm.
Cook bacon in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat 3 minutes or until crisp; remove bacon from pan.
Cook shrimp in same pan over medium-high heat 3 minutes or until
almost pink, stirring occasionally. Add lemon juice and next 4
ingredients, and cook 3 minutes. Stir in bacon.
Spoon grits onto individual plates or into shallow bowls; top with shrimp mixture. Serve immediately.
Trust me, you'll love them both. And if you ever happen to find yourself at Edisto Beach, if you find a shark's tooth while walking the shore at low tide, I hope you'll think of me...because I didn't find one this time around, dammit. I'm usually a pro at that sort of thing.
Happy Easter everyone! And despite whatever anyone else says, it IS all about the bunny...
And the Godiva truffles...thank you,Rottenator!
Meanwhile, the Nooge survived his first overnight alone. Although he did greet us like this at the door...
Obviously, he has very short term memory and forgot who we were for a few minutes. Oh, he was not happy with us being gone, and greeted us with fluffy tail and mohawk. The Rottenator says it's because it was he was prepared to protect the house against strangers. My thoughts are that he was so fucking pissed that he'd been abandoned he was ready to rip our throats out.
Nevertheless,all was forgiven. Never...leave...again...
They both had a hard weekend
I like this pic because it's kinda abstract
This let's you know that you've really arrived; famous decorated Edisto "tree"
This pic does not accurately show how fucking cold it was
2nd place winner in the Scrimp & Grits contest
Awesome pimento cheese burgers
Oak trees, wisteria and spanish moss...telltale signs you're hitting the low country
Improved service and awesome food...preview of my Tripadvisor review...
One way in...one way out..."THE" bridge onto the island
My Mood(ring) Tone of the Day:
Just to add, the main purpose of the trip was to put together
furniture for my mom's beach house. Whilst the Rottenator excelled at
this task...
He
put together two of these bad boys, plus two other chairs
lickety-split, whilst I was not so fortunate. My mother ordered a
microwave cabinet that was supposed to look like this...
And I gave her an end product that looked like this....
Needless to say, JC may have been a carpenter, but Kathleen definitely is not.
So, I would post a picture of this latest and greatest recipe, but my cell phone never does my food justice, so I won't. Let us just say I made a chicken soup in the crockpot tonight that was awesome. And, better yet, delish!
To start: everything is chopped up into bite-sized pieces, and this meal is very economical if your grocery store is having a sale on chicken breasts, and you feel up to deboning and skinning the breasts yourself...which I was:
4 lb. chicken breasts
1 can Campbell's Cream of Mushroom Soup with Garlic
1 can Campbell's Cream of Chicken with Herbs
6 Yukon Gold potatoes, peeled, chopped
6 carrots, peeled, chopped
6 celery ribs, chopped
1 large onion, chopped
1/2 c. chicken broth
Lawry's seasoning salt, pepper, garlic powder, Italian seasoning mix, season to taste.
Throw everything into a crockpot and 6 hours later...ta dah! Yummy chicken soup. I served it with some of those Pillsbury frozen biscuits and it was a perfect effortless meal for a cold day.
Chicken soup: it's good for what ails you.
I've been using my crockpot more than usual because my oven is on the fritz.. I'm totally pissed about it because it's an older oven, and it seems the temperature is slightly off but I can't figure out if it's running too high or too low. My biscuits get burned, and my casseroles aren't cooked through so bottom line: I look like I don't know how to cook, which is a complete outrage. We're currently renting our house, so technically, it is our landlord's responsibility for having something like this fixed, but short of it breaking, or me taking a sledgehammer to it, I don't see the situation being remedied anytime soon, so I'll make do, I suppose.
You see, I am a really good cook. I mean, it's one of the few things I excel at, and enjoy. I find it relaxing and rewarding to lose myself in a recipe and forget about all life's other annoyances while I focus on combining ingredients in such a way that the end result is something that will bring enjoyment and pleasure to others.
I think I was an Italian grandmother in a former life.
It's one of the few things in my life that shouldn't feel like such a challenge. Work is challenging enough.
Haven I mentioned that I cannot wait until Feb. 1 which is the end of tax filing season?
Bottom line: what does this have to do with me going to Orlando to see The Wizarding World of Harry Potter? Not a damn thing.
I'm currently watching season 2 of American Horror Story (I highly recommend!) so:
I worked all day, came home, made chicken pepperoni for the Rottenator, and checked up on Facebook to see all of the exciting plans that my friends and family had for the evening and realized: this is going to be my life.
For good or for bad, this is it. I always get down after the holidays; this year is no different. I'm still sitting her, less than an hour until 2013, hoping that something will happen. The Rottenator will have tucked away a small surprise, gesture of love or affection, but as he stares transfixed at yet another football game, the likelihood of that happening lessens.
So tomorrow, I will get up, I will clean the house, make the traditional Southern Good Luck New Year meal of ham, collard greens (my first attempt at this hideous concoction), hoppin' john, and cornbread and go to sleep and prepare for another day of work.
Rinse and repeat.
This year, I am sober, relatively healthy, relatively comfortable, and still filled with an unshakable, nagging depression that just won't go away.
I hope it is the holiday blues, and I truly hope that this New Year brings everyone health, happiness, love and life.
Two more days of work this week and then I'm off for a lovely Thanksgiving holiday. I'm really looking forward to it this year, possibly more so than Christmas even. This probably has something to do with the fact that since my change of career, I won't get much time off for Christmas this year. And by much, I mean barely any other than Christmas day.
However, I was lucky enough to score the Friday after Turkey Day off so not only am I looking forward to an extended weekend off, this year marks the first time that this guy...
will meet these people...
Needless to say, I am uber excited. The Rottenator is less enthused. I believe his comment was, and I quote, "I'd rather poke my eyes out with a dull butterknife."
He is not a social person. Sociopath, maybe. Sociable, no. But it's high time he meet the fam. I mean, it's pretty obvious he's not going anywhere any time soon and I am very close to my family, so he just needs to suck it up.
Besides, he's gonna be watching a day of college football with a fellow SEC enthusiast who has testicles, so that's gotta be fun, right? Even though their two teams may just be playing each other for the championship game, but thank God, that's not until December, so that definitely lessens the possibility of smack talk that gets deadly serious. And luckily we don't own guns. And the alcohol supply will be limited.
And there will be food. Oh, yes, there will be.
Turkey
Ham
Mac and cheese
Mashed potatoes
Green bean casserole
Stuffing (or dressing, as the rednecks like to call it)
Cranberry Sauce
Cheesecake
Artichoke Dip
Little smokies in bbq sauce
And though the turkey may not be stuffed, I sure as hell will be.
I just hope it doesn't turn out like this.
But if it turned out like this, that would be pretty awesome.
My Mood Ring(tone) of the Day...
PS: the only version I could find of this was in Italian but if you've seen this movie as many times as I have, you'll know the English by heart.
So, even though I didn't get something accomplished yesterday that would be a BIG deal for me while taken for granted by a lot of other people (i.e., people who can drive), I'm okay today.
For now; it's still early. Things that are okay today:
I got some sleep yesterday.
The Rottenator and I are one step closer to getting a new car.
I got a comforter for $17! And it's nice.
It's fall which means the weather is nice and the holidays are getting closer.
I ate a double Whopper yesterday and lost four pounds...in one day.
Which brings me to this point; I shall link to my sister's blog because we have the same problem. Our bodies are endlessly fascinating, but not in the cool "oooh, look at that, it's so sparkly and lights up and awe-inspiring and beautiful" way like this pumpkin:
I'm purple and sparkly and light up, say what?!?!
But more in a WTF is going on!?!? kind of way. I can eat ice cubes and celery for a week or eat ice cream and pizza and my body only deviates 5-8 lbs. The only problem with this is that my body is comfortable at a weight that I am not comfortable with it being...at.
I'd be much more comfortable minus 25-30 lbs, frankly, but I think this would entail exercising and I'm not ready for that kind of commitment yet.
So I'm going to have to deal with this for now. Oh! I just realized something! I had half a bottle of water yesterday so maybe that's why I lost 5lbs. Take note, sis! Half a bottle of water is the magic exlir. Now watch, I'll drink a whole bottle of water today and either wake up 10 lbs lighter, or have gained 15. Who knows.
But that will not concern me today.
6. I got a new vacuum cleaner.
7. I found this in my mother's yard:
Not near a sewer...possibly still a ninja
Just chillin' in her front yard. You can't see it in the picture, but he had evil orange eyes which prevented me from picking him up despite my sister's urging because she "wanted to see what happened". Mom says it's a box turtle. I figured it probably escaped from the teenager who lives next door who probably bought him about 10 years ago when he was the size of a teaspoon and he finally managed the 30 steps to the front yard.
I highly doubt he is a river cooter. That would have been too cool! Then I could have totally texted this pic to everyone I've ever met with the title "Check out my cooter!" And then laughed hysterically because I'm so fucking hilarious. 8. I haven't thought about my birthday once today...until now...dammit.
9. I got nothing.
10. I have to end my list in a even number of 10 because not doing so would disrupt the natural order of things.
Remember not too long ago when I was complaining about NOT having a job and having no $?
Well, now I have a job and we have a bit of $ and now I'm complaining about my job, and my weight and my lack of motivation to clean my house so seriously, when am I going to stop whining and complaining and start counting my blessings?
Not today, kiddo, I can promise you that.
This job, OH-EMM-GEE, this job. Well, not this job as much as this fucking whoremouth passive aggressive bitch from hell instructor I have who doesn't know her ass from a hole in the wall and treats a group of fairly intelligent women like children is driving me batshit crazy.
Completely. She's awful, GOD awful, I couldn't stress that more. But I'll sure as hell try. Let me just say this much: Meryl is consistently making top scores in the class and SHE is going to her manager complaining about this woman. 'Nuff said.
The part I hate the most is that she makes me feel stupid and incompetent. Not only is she not teaching us the important tools we need to be successful at our jobs, she is teaching us INCORRECT information. She's twisted and dangerous and not in a fun, exciting way.
I shouldn't let it affect me like it does, but I can't help it. I don't like feeling stupid, or having people treat me condescendingly. I'm used to being the condescending, smart one. So I guess this is karmic payback.
Well, enough already. Of the karmic payback, that is. October 1st. 10/1/12 is freedom; we move onto the next phase and have a new instructor. And I can't fucking wait. Maybe I'll have the motivation to clean my house by then. Wouldn't it be nice if the Rottenator would do it for me?
Smiling is a sign of weakness
Doesn't that look like an enthused, strapping young man capable of washing a dish or changing a light bulb or, god forbid, scrubbing a toilet just ONCE?
I guess not. That's the face of a weak-stomached individual who got nauseated at the sight of the green goo coming out of a Cadbury's Screme Egg and couldn't finish it after one bite.
I ate two!
His loss, btw. These things are delicious; another sign that Fall is coming, and not soon enough. The weather is also getting cooler, which I'm enjoying.
So what am I complaining about anyway? Not anything of importance, obviously. But still I do.
First off, that whole passing tests and doing well at my job experiment? Yeah, well, no one informed my brain of the decision to continue with this mission, so yeah, I failed my test. By one freakin' question. Just one more correct guess, and I would have been like Proactive: useless, but managing to just barely slide under the radar enough so that my incompetence wouldn't be noticed. Good for him.
Retest in two weeks; at least this time I'll know a little more about what to study even without the help of my evil heifer of a trainer. Much like last time. So, not much has changed. Only now, I'm a failure.
Which was confirmed by a recent motivational message posted at my job:
Whatever. I'm tired. One thing that is not a failure of an experiment:
Verdict: cute and delicious: like me! Despite outward appearances.
Another discovery: the Nooge has proven not to be useless (though still a nuisance as he is currently chewing through the power cord of my laptop): he is a fearless roach trapper. I would say killer, but he loses interest about halfway through his mission, which is when I swoop in and trap the hideous monster (no, not my kitten, the other one) in a tissue and flush it down the toilet with only a minimum of hysterical shrieking.
Teamwork, we has it! I would insert a picture of said dead roach here, but that would entail me stopping my panic long enough to snap a photo and that would entail even more shrieking, so you'll just have to imagine it.
**I started this post about two weeks ago; not much has changed except work is still sucking, I really need to go to the dentist, and my house is even dirtier than it was two weeks ago. I'm in a funk, and not in a cool. Funkytown kinda way. I miss having friends. I miss going to nice restaurants and trying new foods, and seeing movies and watching interesting television shows and discussing them ad nauseum. I miss spending time with people I have common interest with, not people who try to support me in my interests, and hobbies, but deep down, don't "get them"...or me. I'm tired of eating at restaurants with buffet, corral, or barrel in their names and gagging down mediocre or outright disgusting "food". I'm tired of feeling middle-aged, though I guess I technically am.
Yes, first world problems, I have them. Or the birthday blues. Whatever. Oh, and I'm tired of hearing "things could be worse". Yeah, I know, I remember, I was there.
So, I woke up in a pensive mood today. Actually, I stepped off the scale in a pensive mood, which, actually, is quite a different feeling than I normally have when dealing with that monster. Pensive because my weight had fluctuated by 5 lbs from yesterday, so I was immediately like..."what the fuck..." but not in an angry or confused way, more like a calm acceptance of the fact that the scale really is not an accurate tool in which I should judge my success or failure at this diet experiment because I seriously have not adjusted my caloric intake by the extreme amount that it would take to make that much of a difference in my heft...or lack thereof.
And this got me thinking...sure, I originally started this lifestyle change to achieve what most women want...physical perfection.
Even though I lie to myself and say it's because I want to get healthy. Or lied, I should say, as in the past tense.
See, I work with a very sweet girl that I like very much who lives with lupus. It is a horrible, debilitating painful disease for which there is no cure. She lives in pain every day, and never complains, is warm, friendly, funny, kind, and spiritual. In a very non-annoying way, because normally, these are qualities that I disdain in a person (Kidding! I joke! Kinda...)
And it got me to thinking about my own health and how blessed I really am that I don't wake up every day in pain, that other than a few extra pounds, an occasional backache, or a bloody stump of a toe, I am relatively healthy and pain free. So what the hell am I bitching about?
The fact is that I have been so lucky to enjoy relative good health in my life, other than illnesses caused by my own foolish behavior. And how easily have I forgotten that a little over 18 months ago I was in an intensive care unit while this amazing body that I detest and deride every day fought as hard as it could to keep going.
This body that I take for granted, that I criticize for sagging or bulging or wrinkling has actually served me very well these past 40 years and still I complain about it and treat it like shit. I have pushed it to the very limits of its endurance, and still it carries on, gives me very little problems, and keeps me going. Literally.
While I was recovering, after one of my numerous blood tests, my doctor informed me that he was concerned about my thyroid levels. They were a low, and he wanted to keep an eye on them because he was hesitant to put me on any medication to treat it because he wasn't a fan of taking that serious of a step and he wanted to see if the problem would correct itself.
Well my body was like:
And boom, it took care of business. Next visit...perfect thyroid levels.
Even during the times I didn't want to go on, it never gave up, and kept fighting.
So, my philosophy has changed. I'm not going to berate myself or it by denying it when it wants a piece of chocolate, but neither am I going to torture it by forcing down a double whopper with cheese because of misplaced anger or frustration.
And I'm not going to stare in the mirror making fun of it, degrading it, or humiliating it any more. Quite frankly, I'm going to work hard at showing it the respects it deserves, and cherishing it for everything it has done for me.
In the meantime, I am enjoying the closing of the Olympic ceremonies. Rule Britannia! It was like the soundtrack of my formative years was playing. My Anglophilia was reborn.
So was my love of one Liam Gallagher.
God how I did and do love that man.
Vast improvement on the hair front. Would have a pic tonight but as I sit here with a Biore strip across my nose I feel that now is not the appropriate time.
The Rottenator is out of town and though I'm used to being by myself at night, he is usually only five minutes away whereas tonight he is 2.5 hours away so it is a little different. And the Nooge isn't helping matters; every pop and creak of the house causes him to jump and stare blankly into dark shadows with black eyes which is not the most soothing thing in the world.
So, I'm off to bed while I am still relaxed enough to sleep. I did get some cleaning done today, as well as my nails, so overall...successful weekend. We'll just forget about the hot fudge sundae that served as my lunch and roll on.
Well, today was the day, and I must say...the Rottenator and the Nooge handled it much better than I did.
For all my talk and jokes about the "snip snip", I must admit, when we dropped him off this morning and I made eye contact with that sad little orange ball of fluff in his carrier...
I barely made it out to the parking lot before I started bawling at the thought that he was scared, that he thought we'd left him forever.
The Rottenator was his ever understanding, sympathetic self: "I don't know why you're crying; this was your idea".
The only logical response: "I'm crying because you're so stupid".
As a little Birdie recently told me, "Boys are dumb". And they are.
Well, I'm happy(?) to report that the Nooge is recovering quite nicely from his traumatic experience. Too well, some may say.
I returned home from work expecting this:
And instead found something quite similar to this awaiting me:
(I really must invest in a new camera and/or phone).
Bottom line, all is well, the Nooge is home in one piece (minus a couple) and now I can get back to concentrate on more important things...like not emotionally eating everything in sight.
Today was not a good day for me. I may have overloaded MFP with my daily caloric intake. But that double Whopper with cheese and extra mayo...almost worth it.
