Friday, May 17, 2013

Fatty Boombalatty

I am so frustrated with myself.  I had at one point gotten down to an acceptable 155 lbs that I was quite happy with, but over the course of the months of having a miserable job wherein all I do is sit on my ass, I have managed to gain back 25 lbs in a relatively short period of time.

I have had a life long struggle with my weight.  And this 25 pounds just discourages me and depresses me even further because I feel like I am losing the tenuous self control I had on myself.  And it just seemed to happen overnight.

Logically, I know what to do.  Exercise, and eating healthy.  Believe me, I know.  I have spent most of my life researching both.  I know exactly what I should do; it's just having the motivation to do it that I find the most difficulty with.

And this is where I cast the blame on everyone but myself:

  1. We don't have the money to join the gym or the Y.
  2. We don't have the money to spend on healthy food so that's why I'm eating pasta instead of salads.
  3. I don't have the energy after dismal days at work to even think about exercising before or after my 8.5 hours of hell that I have to spend on earth every day.
  4. Burgers and fries taste so much more awesome than turkey and steamed vegetables.
  5. Water tastes like spit, diet soda is just as good.
I just feel so fucking hungry all the time.  And it feels like I have nothing else to turn to.  I don't drink, don't smoke, don't have any hobbies, nothing else to distract me from wallowing in my misery.

So tell me, what do you do?  My mother is getting her pool in order so I'm going to start swimming again, which is awesome, because it is exercise in which I don't have to sweat, and I do love to swim, so there's that, but what else?

I need some other distractions, people.  Because I long ago gave up the goal of being the perfect 10.  I just want to feel comfortable, happy, and healthy in my own skin.

My Mood Ring(tone) Of The Day:

Though honestly, my dream Mood Ring(tone) is:


  1. Oh, I hear you. I am so discouraged. Now that I am back at work I am hoping to get back on track with Weight Watchers. But fuck, I like to eat! Oh well, we are lowering our chances of getting osteoporosis because carrying around weight is good for our frame.

  2. I just make it happen, otherwise I can't burn off stress. I run or work out at home thus avoiding gym. When I run or use my (pretty cheap) stair climber thingee, I pretend I'm stomping on peoples' faces. How's that?


Enough stalking, start talking!