So, the next two days involve testing to determine whether or not I am qualified to perform a job that I detest. If I do not pass, I shall be fired.
The sad part is that even though I detest this job, it means very much to me that I pass these tests. Because God forbid I feel the embarrassment of failure. It's an ego thing; it's not so much about the job, because I couldn't give a fuck about this job, but god forbid I am perceived as a failure at anything...even if it is something that I despise.
So off to bed I got to at least get 7 hours of good sleep.
There are so many thoughts running through my head. *sigh* Depression and hormones are a hell of a thing. It's been a while since I have been on an anti-depressant but I feel the need to explore that realm of possibility again. Also, an appointment with a gyno to determine what sort of treatment I need to start to get a hold of this absolutely depressing, frustrating, god-awful mood I have been in. Especially because it seems that I do not even have PMS to blame.
My Mood (Ring) Tone of the Day:
The sad part is that even though I detest this job, it means very much to me that I pass these tests. Because God forbid I feel the embarrassment of failure. It's an ego thing; it's not so much about the job, because I couldn't give a fuck about this job, but god forbid I am perceived as a failure at anything...even if it is something that I despise.
So off to bed I got to at least get 7 hours of good sleep.
There are so many thoughts running through my head. *sigh* Depression and hormones are a hell of a thing. It's been a while since I have been on an anti-depressant but I feel the need to explore that realm of possibility again. Also, an appointment with a gyno to determine what sort of treatment I need to start to get a hold of this absolutely depressing, frustrating, god-awful mood I have been in. Especially because it seems that I do not even have PMS to blame.
My Mood (Ring) Tone of the Day:
Good luck.
ReplyDeleteWishing you good luck in what seems to be a sucky situation. :( Sid Vicious is entirely appropriate!
ReplyDelete