Monday, March 26, 2012

Pondzi Scheme

So, my new obsession is with water gardens/koi ponds, however you want to call them.  I've always wanted one, but never had the yard to really do it, or the financial resources to start one from scratch.

However, since moving into Bella Cucina*, and finding a ready made already dug cement pond in the front yard, I have been on a mission to turn this:

into this:

or something like that.  You get the idea.

Well, right now, we are a bit strapped for cash, so all I can do when I'm sitting outside smoking my soon-to- be-last-I-swear cigarette, is stare wistfully at that barren, stagnant pool of water and dream.

And get eaten alive by mosquitoes. Oh yes.  Fucking mosquitoes love stagnant water, and they love me because I'm sweet and juicy and desirable in Bugland.  So, instead of my luxurious water garden, I have a gross stagnant Skeeter Pond which is sure to become more unbearable as the temperatures get even warmer, and more depressing to me because not only do I NOT have my luxurious and relaxing tranquil pool of beauty, I will be miserable and covered with huge itchy welts.

Sidebar: Did you know that mosquito hawks do NOT, in fact, eat mosquitoes? I don't think any recent knowledge has pissed me off more than learning that quaint fact.  In fact, I'm in such disbelief over this betrayal that I keep forgetting that they don't, and I get all excited when I sit outside and see one flying around and think "Yay!  Take THAT you blood suckers!"  But then I remember that they don't...and so I get mad and smush them for their uselessness while yelling "Take THAT, vile deceptive creature!"**

So what was the point of this post again?  Oh, yeah, so I'm slowly but surely getting my pond garden ready.  First, a trip to Lowe's to purchase a product called Mosquito Dunk, which is supposedly safe for animals and plants while killing mosquito larva, thusly preventing them from maturing and biting me in the ass.

Next, cleaning out the pond, which once done, I have been promised that I can then purchase water lilies and associated accoutrement.  Someone obviously knows me well enough to know that I have the habit of purchasing things which may or may not sit in my kitchen and wilt and die because I'm too lazy to take care of the less fun parts of the project, which in this case, includes scooping wet, rotting garbage out of a cement hole.  Whatever.

Hopefully, I'll soon have "after" pics to post of my water garden, which I feel is the only thing which may save my sanity at this point.  In the meantime, I have satisfied my green thumb by planting daisies:

(which, actually, after reviewing the picture, do not look very good.  God, I hope they're not dying.  Maybe they're just going through the adolescent growth spurt phase before they settle into beautiful adulthood).

I've also planted a tray of seeds which, according to the packages, should bloom into gorgeous snapdragons and canterbury bells:

(before, obviously)

(projected outcome)

We shall see.

*Bella Cucina = beautiful kitchen
**No mosquito hawks were actually harmed during the writing of this post; comment added for comedic value only.

1 comment:

  1. What???? They don't kill mosquitoes? Because my house is overrun with the goddamn things, and all I could think was at least they'll eat all the mosquitoes, and we'll have a peaceful summer. This information really pisses me off.


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