"Why can't you be more like Him? Him carries me in here and places me me gently on the pillow so I don't lose a claw in the mattress as I'm climbing up the side."
"If it were up to me, you'd lose all of your claws when you lose two other unnecessary things in a few weeks. Snip snip!"
"What are these these 'things' and this 'snip snip' that you speak of?"
"Nevermind. Bed...You...Off...Now!"
"But..."
"No buts. In fact, it's because I'm tired of waking up with fuzzy butts in my face that I demand you sleep somewhere else. Go!"
Let's just go ahead and file this post under TMI, mmmkay?
So, yeah, while I'm still convinced that I'm suffering from the early onset of Alzheimer's Perimenopause, I did have a surprise visitor this past holiday which was a not so much a pleasure as it was a relief. The main reason I'm documenting this is so that I'll be able to accurately track my monthly cycles, because unlike when I was younger and could pinpoint my body's timeclock to the millisecond (every 28 days right on cue), now these visits are few and far between and I'm in that weird stage of "is this menopause or am I pregnant?" Kinda like Blanche Devereaux from the Golden Girls.
And the fact that I'm even referencing the Golden Girls makes it pretty obvious to me which one it probably is.
In any event, as is often the case, this was really inconvenient timing on my body's part because I actually got to have a date night with the Rottenator this past Friday which in itself is a miracle (not unlike the miracle of childbirth, which is also painful and only occurs every 9 months).
We went to eat at Carrabba's which was fantastic, and saw the movie Brave, which was also enjoyable; surprisingly enough the Rottenator didn't hate it too much either. And he let me refer to it as our "date night" which is something he NEVER does because in his mind "we're way past the dating stage".
Really? Huh...cuz my thinking is that with a few more date nights and a bit more help around the house, perhaps I wouldn't be so fucking exhausted all the time and I would actually feel like going through the motions of practicing that people usually do in order to have a baby, and that might not be an issue that much longer anyway, so WTF, stop sitting on your ass playing online football all the time and perhaps get up and change a lightbulb for Christ's sake if you want a piece of this!
But I digress. What I mean to say is that it's truly amazing the difference having two full-time incomes makes in determining someone's frame of mind. Yeah, I know that money is not supposed to buy happiness, but NOT having money is a sure fire way to ensure a ton of stress and strain on an already volatile relationship, lemme tell ya.
Bottom line: things are going very well for us right now, and I do thank the higher powers for that every day and I am appreciative and grateful even though I tend to bitch about everything. But I wouldn't be me if I wasn't a bitch.
Not yet, but today means Xmas is that much closer, so with that in mind, Happy 4th of July!!!
Today signifies an important event in our nation's history in that it marks the anniversary of when we declared independence from Rule Britannia and dropped the superlative "U's" from all of our words, such as colour, flavour, and favour and also ensured that I would spend extra dollars ($) versus pounds (£) on things such as Walker's Prawn Cocktail Crisps, McVitie's Jaffa Cakes, and copies of the NME. Alas, pip pip and whatnot.
Today also marks an anniversary of sorts for the Rottenator in that a year ago he made an important decision to get healthier, and has stuck with it, and for this, I am very proud of him. He's come a long way, baby. Hell, we both have, so pass the chips!
To celebrate, he bought himself some fancy new underwear:
Against my better judgement, and to the horror of fashion experts every where. Here he is showing them off while posing in his Coca-cola fancy pants (what else?)
Classic:
And dress blues:
Hey, you never know when you might be invited to dinner with the Queen, or the President even. It's important to always be prepared.
And because I am the most awesome of the awesomest people ever, I made him holiday chicken and dumplings. My gesture has nothing to do with the fact that I am now dieting due to returning from El Paso about 5 lbs (not British) heavier (which was lovingly pointed out by a caring family member, thanks, mom!) and hate c&d so therefore I won't be tempted to eat them, and everything to do with the fact that I'm just so damn sweet.
And because I'm sweet, I will share this crockpot recipe with you. It's very easy in that like most crockpot recipes, you throw everything in at the same time. Now, you will find other recipes that will tell you to add the biscuits in towards the end, but I always find that doing that leaves the dough raw and uncooked, so I put everything in at once. Might have something to do with the fact that our crockpot is a fast cooker (recipes that say 6 hours on low take 4 hours in ours, etc.) so all I can say is that this works for us, and the c&d connoisseur in our house says that it's one of the best, so take it as you will.
Crockpot Chicken and Dumplings
Ingredients:
2 lbs boneless/skinless chicken breasts, cut into bite sized pieces
1 half onion, chopped
Two 10.5oz cans condensed cream of chicken soup
Two 14.5oz cans chicken broth
1 small can (about 6) refrigerated buttermilk biscuits (like Pillsbury Grands Jr), cut into bite sized pieces
salt & pepper to taste (I use a mix of salt, lemon pepper, garlic powder, and Lawry's seasoning salt)
Lightly grease crockpot with cooking spray (like Pam), add chicken and onions, and season with salt & pepper mix. Give it a good stir to coat everything.
Add in two cans of condensed cream of chicken soup and one can of chicken broth. Drop in torn biscuit pieces, then add second can of chicken broth. Carefully spoon liquid over dumplings to ensure that they are covered, then pop on the lid and set to low.
In our crockpot on low, this is usually done in about 6 hours, if on high, it's done in four.
Enjoy! Or, if you're like me, watch someone else enjoy while you passively-aggressively digest your Lean Cuisine.
