Saturday, December 8, 2012

Save me Baby Jebus! It's a trap, Jim!

Everyone is always going on about the political agenda.

Well, I'd like to take a minute to bitch about the religious agenda.  More specifically, the Southern Baptist political agenda of a certain church that exists right down the street from me.

Yes, Breezy Hill Southern Baptist Church, I'm looking at you.

It seemed innocent enough.  For weeks they have been creating this grand spectacle of lights. SO grand, in fact, that I made the Rottenator stop by one night before they'd even opened so we could get a closer look.  We were hurried out, politely but firmly, and told to return the following Wednesday when they officially opened . The Rottenator had to work that night, so I waited...patiently...every night, passing by this on the way home, taunting me with the wondrous spectacle I would soon be able to explore.

Fast forward to Friday.  It started off well enough.  This is the archway you walk through to (supposedly) get to the wondrous display.

And then, to further tease us...

But then...a can kinda see it in the second picture up there...

Oh yeah.  You were not gonna get out of this without hearing the word of the Lord, heathen.  It was then that I began to realize that there was no Santa in sight in this cacophony of lights.

The second not so subtle hint came when we were corralled like cattle into a building that was eerily reminiscent of Jonestown

 Yes.  Sit and listen to our message and then maybe we will allow you to be thrown onto the back of a tractor and hurdled through a maze of lights at breakneck speed where you will be treated to refreshments at the end of it.

The  Rottenator was not having it, and I for once, was with him.  Bear in mind, he was only there out of protest because of me and my love of all things sparkly and bright, so he was ready to snap anyway.

Besides, we had a barbeque buffet to get to that he had been fantasizing about all day and god dammit, we were not going to miss it.

So after we walked the walk of the Damned back to the parking lot in the opposite flow of traffic, I had a few minutes to indulge my disappointment...and then I got pissed.

But even as I wrote that previous sentence, I'm now thinking...WHY exactly?  Why am I pissed that this church decided to put on a light (free, mind you) display in order to recruit welcome visitors to their place of worship and perhaps gain a few members?

I shouldn't be, I guess.  There were no false pretenses.  I mean, there were no signs saying you would have to sit and listen to a few Christmas songs before enjoying the lights, but hey, it is a church, a Southern Baptist one at that, and I should have known that there is always a catch or a hidden agenda when it comes to those people.

And if it seems that I'm bitter towards Southern Baptists in particular, you're god damn right I am.  I've known more than a few Southern Baptists in my time and have always found them to be the most judgemental self-righteous people on the planet who are more than eager to tell you that you are going straight to hell if you don't believe in their doctrine completely. 

But it's not just them; it's organized religion in general that I have an extreme distrust and dislike of. Because much like political beliefs, there is no actual logic behind them.  It has always been my policy to avoid discussing religion and politics with anyone I don't know very well because there is no rational thought process involved when it comes to beliefs and you are not going to change anyone's mind, and someone is gonna get pissed off, so why bother?

Especially as I am usually the one who ends up pissed off, and no longer respecting or liking someone I once considered a friend or relative.

So it's safer to leave those two topics off the table.

Bottom line, the first attempt at Christmas light viewing was a bust.  Except for the occasional view of a tackily decorated house in my neighborhood, because lemme tell you, no one decorates like a low-income person.  I mean that it the best possible way.  Why is it that the more money you have the more boring your Christmas decorations become?  I have no time for white lights or  Martha-Stewart-esque natural wreaths.  Bring on the multi-colored seizure inducing explosion of color, that's what I'm talking about!

So, we're going to try again tomorrow.  To a more secular celebration of the Holiday Season.

We intend to either visit this exhibition:

or this one:

I'll keep you posted.  In the meantime:

My Mood Ring(tone) of the Day:

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