This chemical imbalance b.s. has gone on long enough. So, I procured some "happy" pills from the resident doctor, and I hope they do the trick. At least until my gynecologist appointment in July, where I expect a thorough up and down examination of what exactly is wrong with me.
My hormones are out of whack. That I know. It's going on nearly three months since "Aunt Flo" or whatever, my god damn period, has happened, so I know that my hormones are completely unbalanced. I have all the PMS symptoms without the "relief" as it were, so as well as mental issues, there are also physical ones that need to be addressed.
And no (Mother), I am not pregnant.
About three years ago, or close to, I almost died, and stuff, and I'm pretty sure it wrecked havoc on my body, so early menopause would not be a surprise at this point. And I have made arrangements to have this confirmed and/or denied, but the earliest appointment I could get is in late July, and my brain was not about to have that shit.
It was all like, "Hey! Pay attention to me! Because you know how you were all depressed in college and you were Emo and everything when back then it was just called Goth and you thought you were cool, well, it's not so cool anymore, missy, because you're nearly 42 years old, and now it's just called pathetic...and kinda sad. And you don't want to be that middle-aged chick freaking all the youngsters out at the newest, hippest club while they roll their eyes and try to avoid eye contact with you and barely move their bodies to old school Joy Division songs...that they think they invented."
My brain tends to ramble. And is obviously quite the fan of run-on sentences.
BTW, the best part about this video is this is EXACTLY how I used to dance.
Besides...I gots bills to pay, and adult responsibilities, so seriously, I need to get my shit in order. So, I have taken the first step in doing so.
Drugs.
Helluva thing.
Unlike Rick James, I have decided that legal anti-depressant drugs may just be the answer, so I'll keep you posted on how this turns out. I think it's a positive step.
And I apologize ahead of time for my COMPLETE self-absorption lately and my ignorance of all of my friends and relations, online, or offline. I promise to do better.
Don't feel too bad; the Rottenator has felt it too. Incidentally, he just got new glasses because his eyes are "shaped like footballs" or so his opthamologist (optometrist?) told him.
Meanwhile, I do not find it ironic at all that the Rottenator, who bleeds college football ("Roll Tide!") has "football" shaped eyes.
Today was a day with promise.
My Mood Ring(tone) Of The Day (see how I did that?)
I had a partial hysterectomy at 36 and I don't know if I had menopause or not. I'm 67 and still waiting. But I do know it took away my reason for being bitchy.
ReplyDeleteWhy would you apologize for what you put on your own blog? I'm glad you went to talk to someone...for me, a combination of anti-depressants and therapy really made a life-changing difference. Hang in there - going through all of this at once can't be easy.
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