Remember how I complained recently about being bored? I take it all back!
My goals for this year included trying to make amends for mistakes I had made in my past. To continue on a path of being a better person, make amends, become an upstanding member of society, yada yada yada, and then boom! Your past mistakes catch up with you with a vengeance and despite all of the effort and progress you've made, you're back to square one. Or, actually, back to square minus 1.
Or, minus every cent in your bank account.
Without going into too much detail, due to past indiscretions, I had managed to rack up a substantial amount of back taxes due to the world-famous IRS. This was the time to make up for that; the Rottenator and I both have stable incomes, stable jobs, and it was time to repay my debt to society.
I did not realize that society would be so swift and vengeful. Oh, yes, people complain about how lax and ineffective the US government is, how they take forever to get anything accomplished, but obviously that does not include the swiftness and efficiency they display when it comes to getting paid.
And oh yes, did they ever get paid.
Not two days after filing this year's taxes and contacting an agent to discuss payment arrangements regarding past due taxes, the IRS swooped swept(?) in and summarily wiped out our bank account.
Every...fucking...cent.
So as I sit here, helpless wondering how we're going to pay our bills, make our way to our jobs, keep our car and our house and even the Nooge, I find myself wondering...why bother?
Why bother trying to be a better person? To right past wrongs? To make up for past mistakes? To even have hopeful expectations that this life is anything other than a constant struggle to barely manage to keep your head above water to barely survive?
It would be fantabulous if I were a stronger person, if I could withstand the constant obstacles that life throws at you and still move forward cheerfully, with the faith and knowledge that everything will be just fine. But I am not.
I can't decide if I am weak, or if I'm just over it. Like, "been here, done that, finished with the struggling already, please give me a fucking break".
I blame myself. I know that I have dug this hole for myself, but seriously, can't I have two second of being bored without the higher powers stepping in and saying, "Oh, you're bored? You're not happy with your life? Well, deal with this then, heifer!"
Doesn't God realize that sometimes you're PMS-ing and you just need to vent, and he doesn't need to go around mucking things up just to make life more "interesting"?
Not that I blame him; I'm too Catholic and too fearful of his wrath to do that, but seriously...I take it back. I take it all back.
Much like the IRS.
My Mood Ring(tone) Of The Day:
Sidebar: did you know that this was the theme song to M.A.S.H.? That was one of my Dad's favorite shows. For some melodramatic reason that just makes me more sad and depressed.
My goals for this year included trying to make amends for mistakes I had made in my past. To continue on a path of being a better person, make amends, become an upstanding member of society, yada yada yada, and then boom! Your past mistakes catch up with you with a vengeance and despite all of the effort and progress you've made, you're back to square one. Or, actually, back to square minus 1.
Or, minus every cent in your bank account.
Without going into too much detail, due to past indiscretions, I had managed to rack up a substantial amount of back taxes due to the world-famous IRS. This was the time to make up for that; the Rottenator and I both have stable incomes, stable jobs, and it was time to repay my debt to society.
I did not realize that society would be so swift and vengeful. Oh, yes, people complain about how lax and ineffective the US government is, how they take forever to get anything accomplished, but obviously that does not include the swiftness and efficiency they display when it comes to getting paid.
And oh yes, did they ever get paid.
Not two days after filing this year's taxes and contacting an agent to discuss payment arrangements regarding past due taxes, the IRS s
Every...fucking...cent.
So as I sit here, helpless wondering how we're going to pay our bills, make our way to our jobs, keep our car and our house and even the Nooge, I find myself wondering...why bother?
Why bother trying to be a better person? To right past wrongs? To make up for past mistakes? To even have hopeful expectations that this life is anything other than a constant struggle to barely manage to keep your head above water to barely survive?
It would be fantabulous if I were a stronger person, if I could withstand the constant obstacles that life throws at you and still move forward cheerfully, with the faith and knowledge that everything will be just fine. But I am not.
I can't decide if I am weak, or if I'm just over it. Like, "been here, done that, finished with the struggling already, please give me a fucking break".
I blame myself. I know that I have dug this hole for myself, but seriously, can't I have two second of being bored without the higher powers stepping in and saying, "Oh, you're bored? You're not happy with your life? Well, deal with this then, heifer!"
Doesn't God realize that sometimes you're PMS-ing and you just need to vent, and he doesn't need to go around mucking things up just to make life more "interesting"?
Not that I blame him; I'm too Catholic and too fearful of his wrath to do that, but seriously...I take it back. I take it all back.
Much like the IRS.
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Sidebar: did you know that this was the theme song to M.A.S.H.? That was one of my Dad's favorite shows. For some melodramatic reason that just makes me more sad and depressed.
That is absolute bullshit. I loathe government. All that matters is that you exist and because of that they want your money. I hope you get back on your feet soon.
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