LEEP of Faith? No, Death, Definitely Death

So, results back from the doc...

Not bad enough for the insurance to cover the hysterectomy, but enough to cover a LEEP procedure...which yay! Not cancer.  But boo! I could have to possibly have to get this done AGAIN down the road, and let's be honest, it sucks ass trying to get time off from my job, and really not looking forward to seeing the gyno every six months, so quite frankly, I was hoping to get everything ripped the fuck out.

I'm never having kids, no plans to EVER, so why not? Stupid insurance; Doc Awesomesauce says that it wouldn't cover a hysterectomy at this point; test results were abnormal, but not THAT abnormal (obviously there are levels of abnormal in the medical field) which is too bad;  I was looking forward to 4-6 weeks off from work, with people taking care of me, and pain pills.  No such luck.  Back to work in a day or two, which sucks, because I have no sick time left, and trying to schedule off time from work from what is basically a call center is hard as shit.

But whatever.  I'm going to ask Dr. Awesomesauce to recommend that I'm off at least 6 days for recovery...that way I will get paid.  Yes, I'm  working the system, but I'm also a big fat wimp when it comes to pain, so knowing me, I will be wallowing in bed for that long after this procedure.  Because IT SOUNDS HIDEOUS.

But it's not cancer. So that's a plus.


Pre-surgery: Oct 10, actual surgery Oct 15.  Whining and moaning about it: for weeks and weeks after.

Meanwhile, it's almost Friday, and College Football Saturday is almost upon us, so just one more day until the weekend.  It's weird, I've been feeling strangely sad and alone and missing the Rottenator, which is VERY weird, because he's been here and stuff, but I don't know...maybe it's his preoccupation with Grand Theft Auto 5 or maybe it's just the state of mind I've been in, but I've been feeling VERY alone lately.  Doesn't help that we work different shifts, I guess, but it is truly an odd sort of feeling for me, because I usually love my alone time.  Ah, well. Hormones, I guess.  Zoloft cannot take care of everything.  But I'm feeling okay.

Oh, and seriously, why do I like Nicki Minaj? Someone explain to me why I find her so catchy because she is my:

Mood Ring(Tone) Of the Day:

This also brought me great joy this week; it's just fun, and I adore Stephan Merchant.

Thanks for keeping up with me; I'll now go lurk around and keep up with all of you...

Did You Ever Know You're My Hero?

It's kind of weird when you are a woman and you realize that you are not necessarily equipt with those natural instincts to procreate and mother young offspring; in fact, you realize that you are more like a panda mom, or an elephant mom who tries to stomp your children to death in order to avoid taking care of them.

My sister is amazemballs and I love her children to death, and when I am privileged to observe what she has to deal with on a daily basis...I am completely in awe.

I don't know where the mominator instinct bypassed me, but it did.  Hell, I can barely deal with a moody cat, but I visit my sister and watch her handle three headstrong (albeit hilariously intelligent) children with utmost patience and understanding, and I am completely impressed.

She is patiently answering questions about the same subject over and over again, and tending tantrums and minor injuries with seemingly effortlessness while I am in the background arguing with my nearly 8 year old niece about how she's going to ruin my one umbrella, my ONE umbrella, and you have it on the grass, and now it's half damaged, and I don't care if your birthday is two weeks after mine, it's my birthday this weekend, and give me my umbrella and stop breaking stuff already!

God, you would think I was an only child, and I know that you are already thinking the same thing: thank GOD she has not procreated.

I am an awesome aunt, however.  I'll give myself that.  There is nothing better than little kids that just love you for you and are so excited to see you when you come to visit.  And I will volunteer to babysit them anytime, anywhere, because we always have hilarious adventures together.

And I will always make sure that I'm the one that they can call when they need bail money. All I ask for is a group hug at the end of it like the one I got this weekend.

My sister made sure I had an awesome birthday, full of Crimson Tide and Hello Kitty and pickle dip and pee wee football (those parents are kray kray!) and it was exactly what I needed.  Turning 24 (ahem) has never felt so awesome. 

Especially the purple Hello Kitty purse...don't hate.

Two (TWO!) Mood Ring(tones) of the Day:

Happy Birthday to me Goddammit

It's about this time:

And of course I didn't hear back about my test results so I will spend the entire weekend exploiting the whole "really? Well, I may have cancer!" angle until it's worn the hell out and everyone who knows me tells me to go fuck myself, which will be entirely understandable.

Hopefully I will find out on Monday or Tuesday; still leaning towards the hysterectomy; everyone I've talked to: "You don't want kids? Get that shit taken out, what are you waiting for?"

In the meantime, looking forward to a good day with the sis and the fam tomorrow; will try to tone down the "C" talk in front of the kiddies, but make no mistake: I'm riding this sucker out.

Incidentally, have any of you ever thought about a will or an obituary or things like that? Kind of morbid, I know, but I'm currently composing a pretty killer (no pun intended) obituary, because I tend to lean towards the morbid anyway, and I would have done this with or without the possible cancer diagnosis.  This just gives me an excuse.

My Mood Ring(tone) of the Day: