It's kind of weird when you are a woman and you realize that you are not necessarily equipt with those natural instincts to procreate and mother young offspring; in fact, you realize that you are more like a panda mom, or an elephant mom who tries to stomp your children to death in order to avoid taking care of them.
My sister is amazemballs and I love her children to death, and when I am privileged to observe what she has to deal with on a daily basis...I am completely in awe.
I don't know where the mominator instinct bypassed me, but it did. Hell, I can barely deal with a moody cat, but I visit my sister and watch her handle three headstrong (albeit hilariously intelligent) children with utmost patience and understanding, and I am completely impressed.
She is patiently answering questions about the same subject over and over again, and tending tantrums and minor injuries with seemingly effortlessness while I am in the background arguing with my nearly 8 year old niece about how she's going to ruin my one umbrella, my ONE umbrella, and you have it on the grass, and now it's half damaged, and I don't care if your birthday is two weeks after mine, it's my birthday this weekend, and give me my umbrella and stop breaking stuff already!
God, you would think I was an only child, and I know that you are already thinking the same thing: thank GOD she has not procreated.
I am an awesome aunt, however. I'll give myself that. There is nothing better than little kids that just love you for you and are so excited to see you when you come to visit. And I will volunteer to babysit them anytime, anywhere, because we always have hilarious adventures together.
And I will always make sure that I'm the one that they can call when they need bail money. All I ask for is a group hug at the end of it like the one I got this weekend.
My sister made sure I had an awesome birthday, full of Crimson Tide and Hello Kitty and pickle dip and pee wee football (those parents are kray kray!) and it was exactly what I needed. Turning 24 (ahem) has never felt so awesome.
Especially the purple Hello Kitty purse...don't hate.
Two (TWO!) Mood Ring(tones) of the Day:
My sister is amazemballs and I love her children to death, and when I am privileged to observe what she has to deal with on a daily basis...I am completely in awe.
I don't know where the mominator instinct bypassed me, but it did. Hell, I can barely deal with a moody cat, but I visit my sister and watch her handle three headstrong (albeit hilariously intelligent) children with utmost patience and understanding, and I am completely impressed.
She is patiently answering questions about the same subject over and over again, and tending tantrums and minor injuries with seemingly effortlessness while I am in the background arguing with my nearly 8 year old niece about how she's going to ruin my one umbrella, my ONE umbrella, and you have it on the grass, and now it's half damaged, and I don't care if your birthday is two weeks after mine, it's my birthday this weekend, and give me my umbrella and stop breaking stuff already!
God, you would think I was an only child, and I know that you are already thinking the same thing: thank GOD she has not procreated.
I am an awesome aunt, however. I'll give myself that. There is nothing better than little kids that just love you for you and are so excited to see you when you come to visit. And I will volunteer to babysit them anytime, anywhere, because we always have hilarious adventures together.
And I will always make sure that I'm the one that they can call when they need bail money. All I ask for is a group hug at the end of it like the one I got this weekend.
My sister made sure I had an awesome birthday, full of Crimson Tide and Hello Kitty and pickle dip and pee wee football (those parents are kray kray!) and it was exactly what I needed. Turning 24 (ahem) has never felt so awesome.
Especially the purple Hello Kitty purse...don't hate.
Two (TWO!) Mood Ring(tones) of the Day:
Well, thank you for that. :-) And I hope you did have a good birthday and am glad you guys could come. I will be taking you up on your babysitting offer. :-P
ReplyDeleteI have the maternal instinct of a praying mantis after sex. You get the point.
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday!
My own kids have never annoyed me like other people's children. My kids are fucking delightful. Kind of like this... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aOLxQGLJouI
ReplyDeleteHave you heard back from the doctor?