LEEP of Faith? No, Death, Definitely Death

So, results back from the doc...

Not bad enough for the insurance to cover the hysterectomy, but enough to cover a LEEP procedure...which yay! Not cancer.  But boo! I could have to possibly have to get this done AGAIN down the road, and let's be honest, it sucks ass trying to get time off from my job, and really not looking forward to seeing the gyno every six months, so quite frankly, I was hoping to get everything ripped the fuck out.

I'm never having kids, no plans to EVER, so why not? Stupid insurance; Doc Awesomesauce says that it wouldn't cover a hysterectomy at this point; test results were abnormal, but not THAT abnormal (obviously there are levels of abnormal in the medical field) which is too bad;  I was looking forward to 4-6 weeks off from work, with people taking care of me, and pain pills.  No such luck.  Back to work in a day or two, which sucks, because I have no sick time left, and trying to schedule off time from work from what is basically a call center is hard as shit.

But whatever.  I'm going to ask Dr. Awesomesauce to recommend that I'm off at least 6 days for recovery...that way I will get paid.  Yes, I'm  working the system, but I'm also a big fat wimp when it comes to pain, so knowing me, I will be wallowing in bed for that long after this procedure.  Because IT SOUNDS HIDEOUS.

But it's not cancer. So that's a plus.


Pre-surgery: Oct 10, actual surgery Oct 15.  Whining and moaning about it: for weeks and weeks after.

Meanwhile, it's almost Friday, and College Football Saturday is almost upon us, so just one more day until the weekend.  It's weird, I've been feeling strangely sad and alone and missing the Rottenator, which is VERY weird, because he's been here and stuff, but I don't know...maybe it's his preoccupation with Grand Theft Auto 5 or maybe it's just the state of mind I've been in, but I've been feeling VERY alone lately.  Doesn't help that we work different shifts, I guess, but it is truly an odd sort of feeling for me, because I usually love my alone time.  Ah, well. Hormones, I guess.  Zoloft cannot take care of everything.  But I'm feeling okay.

Oh, and seriously, why do I like Nicki Minaj? Someone explain to me why I find her so catchy because she is my:

Mood Ring(Tone) Of the Day:

This also brought me great joy this week; it's just fun, and I adore Stephan Merchant.

Thanks for keeping up with me; I'll now go lurk around and keep up with all of you...

Did You Ever Know You're My Hero?

It's kind of weird when you are a woman and you realize that you are not necessarily equipt with those natural instincts to procreate and mother young offspring; in fact, you realize that you are more like a panda mom, or an elephant mom who tries to stomp your children to death in order to avoid taking care of them.

My sister is amazemballs and I love her children to death, and when I am privileged to observe what she has to deal with on a daily basis...I am completely in awe.

I don't know where the mominator instinct bypassed me, but it did.  Hell, I can barely deal with a moody cat, but I visit my sister and watch her handle three headstrong (albeit hilariously intelligent) children with utmost patience and understanding, and I am completely impressed.

She is patiently answering questions about the same subject over and over again, and tending tantrums and minor injuries with seemingly effortlessness while I am in the background arguing with my nearly 8 year old niece about how she's going to ruin my one umbrella, my ONE umbrella, and you have it on the grass, and now it's half damaged, and I don't care if your birthday is two weeks after mine, it's my birthday this weekend, and give me my umbrella and stop breaking stuff already!

God, you would think I was an only child, and I know that you are already thinking the same thing: thank GOD she has not procreated.

I am an awesome aunt, however.  I'll give myself that.  There is nothing better than little kids that just love you for you and are so excited to see you when you come to visit.  And I will volunteer to babysit them anytime, anywhere, because we always have hilarious adventures together.

And I will always make sure that I'm the one that they can call when they need bail money. All I ask for is a group hug at the end of it like the one I got this weekend.

My sister made sure I had an awesome birthday, full of Crimson Tide and Hello Kitty and pickle dip and pee wee football (those parents are kray kray!) and it was exactly what I needed.  Turning 24 (ahem) has never felt so awesome. 

Especially the purple Hello Kitty purse...don't hate.

Two (TWO!) Mood Ring(tones) of the Day:

Happy Birthday to me Goddammit

It's about this time:

And of course I didn't hear back about my test results so I will spend the entire weekend exploiting the whole "really? Well, I may have cancer!" angle until it's worn the hell out and everyone who knows me tells me to go fuck myself, which will be entirely understandable.

Hopefully I will find out on Monday or Tuesday; still leaning towards the hysterectomy; everyone I've talked to: "You don't want kids? Get that shit taken out, what are you waiting for?"

In the meantime, looking forward to a good day with the sis and the fam tomorrow; will try to tone down the "C" talk in front of the kiddies, but make no mistake: I'm riding this sucker out.

Incidentally, have any of you ever thought about a will or an obituary or things like that? Kind of morbid, I know, but I'm currently composing a pretty killer (no pun intended) obituary, because I tend to lean towards the morbid anyway, and I would have done this with or without the possible cancer diagnosis.  This just gives me an excuse.

My Mood Ring(tone) of the Day:

Rosalyn Thomas

It's so fucking weird I didn't even know her in real life and this is the first time that the "passing" of a "Facebook" friend has really gotten to me.

This chick was hilarious.  I checked on her status updates every time I was on Facebook; I emailed them to my sister.  She was amazeballs.

https://www.facebook.com/rosalynfattymcfatfat.thomas?fref=ts&ref=br_tf

It is really bothering me, even though I never met her in real life, and only interacted with her occasionally online.

The world today...I love social media when it's good, that you can interact with people that you would never meet in a thousand lifetimes, but in another way I also hate it...because I do feel real pain when it comes to the loss of this person.  That I didn't even know.

Dysplasia...Leukoplakia....say what?

That's the first thing I thought about when the doctor handed me a pamphlet with the word "Dysplasia" at the top of it...

Yes, my first thoughts were of a much beloved and underrated movie from 1986 called Lucas wherein I was first introduced to the term " Leukoplakia".

Why, I don't know; just one of those things.

Sooo...had my Colpol today and needless to say, the doc was not satisfied with the results.  So after much scraping, and sample taking and pamphlet giving, looks like I may have to have a minor surgery called a "LEEP"  .  We'll find out for sure on Friday...possibly Monday or Tuesday of next week, but in the meantime, I am going to milk this possible cancer thing because it is my birthday weekend, and if there is any way that I can feel more special, I'm going to exploit it.

With things like this:

http://www.pinterest.com/pin/122371314848308086/

 

 

Does that not look like the most delicious thing ever?  I have demanded it of my sister....because I can... because possible cancer.  Don't hate, I'm taking it easy on her, I could have demanded this!

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/gale-gand/croquembouche-recipe/index.html

 

 

 

 

But I didn't because she is a mother and does have a life and doesn't have multi-hours to spend on creating a spectacular dessert...besides, if she mastered this before I did, I could never live with myself.

And now off to sleep to prepare for another day at work....even though....screw you work I possibly have cancer!

Anyway, for whatever reason these two Dwight Yoakam songs have been in my head...don't know why...perhaps it's the cancer....

 

A Day In My Life

Even though my clients tend to be a little nicer, probably because I'm not so dim, and I will say: I had a client who said that ( company I work for) was determined to piss him off and he actually thanked me at the end of the call after I massaged his bruised ego.

Gyno procedure (officially called Colpol) is rescheduled for Tuesday because my god dang  body is not cooperating and after three months of no period, suddenly I have a never ending one.

Other than that: no news.  Watching college football.  Roll Tide. But sometimes no news is good news.  Oh, the Rottenator and I did visit a new restaurant in a premature celebration of my birthday last night and he ordered a Bento box:

As I ordered the Green Curry Chicken and let's just say: he downed a lot of wasabi and my heart grew just a little bit bigger that day.

Other than that, my stupid female parts are not cooperating with my gyno's schedule so I have had to move my appointment three times: here's hoping that Tuesday is the charm.

I leave you now with a most excellent and unhealthy recipe that went over quite well for our Gameday celebration; it is so simple, and so delicious and decadently unhealthy:

Ingredients:
16 ounce box Velveeta cheese
1 cups milk
2 teaspoons paprika
1/2 tsp ground cayenne pepper
15 ounce can Hormel Chili (No Beans)
4 teaspoons chili powder
1 Tablespoon Lime Juice
1/2 teaspoon ground cumin

1. Cut the velveeta into cubes

2. Combine the cheese with remaining ingredients in medium saucepan over medium heat.

3. Stir Frequently until the cheese melts.  

4. Enjoy with tortilla chips!

 

 

I've Got a Feeling...Maybe I'm Not Perfect

Have you ever had that moment?  Where someone totally called you out on your bullshit? And you realized they were the one? Even though you'd been together for four years, you were still unsure and suspicious and never fully trusted them, but then...they totally have your number.

I hate that, too.  Why do you not recognize me as the perfect goddess I am; why do you point out my weaknesses? Because, ideally, I have none.

And you love me anyway.  Damn you, Rottenator.

Meanwhile, I went to DragonCon and all I got was this single lousy picture:

And this, I didn't even take it; it is courtesy of my sister, who illegally snuck a pic (allegedly) when Spike was not paying attention.

So, this is my only pic, and as you can tell by the date on my sister's blog, it may be a while before I have anymore, but trust that fun was had by all.

In fact, we had a really good time even though the crowds were maddening. I forgot how much I hated crowds, even if they were all sci-fi geeks, and very polite, I'm just old and can't do it anymore.  I was near panic attack mode, but it all ended up well thanks to one of my college friends who showed us around because he is an expert at these things.

The one on the right, we love him!

 I'm not saying I'd do this again, even though it was kind of funny; the Rottenator would have hated the crowds but Alabama was playing their opening season game the same weekend in Atlanta so there was an immersion of my two worlds; nothing made me happier than watching Alabama football fans clapping at Daleks.   Just sayin'...

Oh, did I mention that I passed my work test so now I have semi job security? What what?!?!?  Yes, this is a huge relief; I've actually mellowed out a little bit about life whereas the Rottenator has gotten more intense.  I was hoping that college football season would ease some of his depression, but not so much so far...maybe when they beat Texas A&M he'll feel better.  Plus, he's turning 30 this year which can't be easy; I vaguely remember it myself...although 40 was harder than 30...and now every birthday is just another excuse to eat cake and ice cream and possibly get some flowers.

Getting old is weird. Mood Ring(tone) Of The Day:

*Incidentally, this is the song that my sister and brother in law walked down the isle to when they got married...because they are fabulous...