So, after two and a half months of not having a period, my body decides it's time to have one the DAY before my colposcopy (which I still can't pronounce by the way...colonoscopy...colscopy...copocetic...Coldplay...you know what I mean!) so it's been rescheduled for a month from now because my doctor is on summer vacay for a few weeks.
All is well, though. I'm still surprisingly okay about it (thank you, Zoloft), as well as my "pass this test or you'll be fired" work assignment. The first part of the assessment was today and I feel pretty confident about it. Turns out I finally figured out that this job sets you up for failure, but despite that, I'm still pretty darn good at it. Not perfect, but still...at least I actually care about doing a good job, and even though I'm not perfect, I do try, and although it is a job that is completely opposite of everything that comes naturally to me, I have adapted to it relatively well. And I do have a bit more confidence in myself. Which is a weird feeling for me; it's odd: I have low self esteem, but I also think I'm brilliant and awesome. Is there a defined medical condition for that? Please don't say bipolar because that means I would just have to get on more medication.
Meanwhile, this is my Mood Ring(tone) of the Day, and don't judge me; it just so happens that I was taking a bathroom break at work and no lie, the chick in the next stall was singing this (don't even get me started about people who talk to themselves and/or others while taking care of business, I don't get it)...
All is well, though. I'm still surprisingly okay about it (thank you, Zoloft), as well as my "pass this test or you'll be fired" work assignment. The first part of the assessment was today and I feel pretty confident about it. Turns out I finally figured out that this job sets you up for failure, but despite that, I'm still pretty darn good at it. Not perfect, but still...at least I actually care about doing a good job, and even though I'm not perfect, I do try, and although it is a job that is completely opposite of everything that comes naturally to me, I have adapted to it relatively well. And I do have a bit more confidence in myself. Which is a weird feeling for me; it's odd: I have low self esteem, but I also think I'm brilliant and awesome. Is there a defined medical condition for that? Please don't say bipolar because that means I would just have to get on more medication.
Meanwhile, this is my Mood Ring(tone) of the Day, and don't judge me; it just so happens that I was taking a bathroom break at work and no lie, the chick in the next stall was singing this (don't even get me started about people who talk to themselves and/or others while taking care of business, I don't get it)...
Ha! I have low self-esteem and think I am pretty awesome. I mean, I am somewhat intelligent (graduated at the top of my class in college) and I am funny as hell but I am also fat and hate my body.
ReplyDeleteI do not like Celine Dion. I wish she was not Canadian.
I've heard of body dismorphic disorder where you can't see how you really look. Is there personality dismorphic disorder? What I really see about myself and what others see are often at odds. I believe only one thing is really true. I'm really changeable. Big time. So join me in this and we'll change together.
ReplyDeleteOkay I will try not to judge you, but it's hard when you pick a Celine Dion tune!! And you had a go at Britney!! Ha!
ReplyDeleteDon't you think a lot of people with low esteem think they are pretty awesome? I think it goes hand in hand. :D
Judy C. makes such a good point...I am curious what field you work in, and how you ended up there. Sorry about mother nature being a bitch.
ReplyDeleteGeez you have some luck there don't ya? Personally I live by the Murphy's Law and think of him as my friend. I hope all went well with your scope thingy and would have said to lay back and think of Hogwarts, had I been able to catch you before the scope. Thinking of Hogwarts at any time will help most matters as well as an expecto patronum thrown at most problems. : )
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