So no pie pictures because I could not find one that was pretty enough, but the Mominator declared it a success so I will share this recipe with you: btw, it's way easy if you follow this recipe and use a prepared pie crust...and Reddi-whip. I guess you could use Cool Whip, but what's the fun in that? It doesn't even come in a can that you can squirt directly into your mouth. Much like Cheese Whiz...which I am also not embarrassed to admit that I find delicious...straight out of the can.
So, in other news, we're getting a new TV:
50"; the Rottenator is happy, he has been wanting one forever. I am happy because now I will be able to record and watch all of my television programs at will while SOMEONE is distracted by their Xbox games.
I will never have to miss an episode of Top Chef again. This is awesome.
And I'm also exploring the Wellbutrin thing; just something to take the edge off. And I don't mean to sound arrogant or anything like that, but let's just say that I find it very interesting that most of the most brilliant and intelligent people I know are all on something "to take the edge off".
I think we think too much.
Why can't we all be like Homer Simpson?
Anyway, nothing else to report on this front other than I have one more day of sitting on my ass that I'm going to take complete advantage of. Guilt free, no less, because the house is clean clean clean!
AND no work tomorrow means I have extra time to share more than one Mood Ring(tone) of the Day:
So, I have a much needed four day weekend break from work thanks to the Memorial Day holiday on Monday, and my forward thinking to request Tuesday off as well, so woo hoo! Good thinking on my part, because I am much in need of an extended break.
I won't know the results of my "pass or you get fired" test until early June, but things did not go well. At least the first day. I felt better about the second day, but there were math problems involved, and as we all know:
It tends to stagger me. But we'll see. I'll know whether or not I passed a stupid test that has nothing to do with my day-to-day job in order to keep said job in early June. Until then...I ain't bothered.
Other than that, despite my crushing depression that keeps me from even wanting to wake up in the morning, the Rottenator has been spectacular in supporting me the best he can. I cannot say it enough: there is something to be said for someone who loves you unconditionally. Yes, you may get angry when they leave the seat up...don't take the garbage can to the curb...play NBA basketball on Xbox non-stop, but seriously...then they spend a whole day taking you out to eat, enduring your shopping for clothes, feigning interest in the things you're interested in...it means a lot.
So you deal with the minor problems when it comes down to the fact that they are loyal, love you unconditionally, and do whatever they can to make you feel better...even when there's nothing that they can do. That makes me sad for him, actually. Because there is no logical reason for me to feel so down right now and he is scrambling to do everything he can to make it better, but he can't. Stupid chemical imbalance.
But it's okay; I'm soon to get everything sorted; tomorrow is my mother's birthday, and I made her a strawberry pie...I will post pictures tomorrow, once it's all decorated with the whipped cream and whatnot, and share the recipe IF it gets the approval. It's a homemade version of a Shoney's strawberry pie, y'all.
In the meantime, I am losing myself in a marathon of "Arrested Development" on Netflix because it is one of my most favorite shows every, and they are debuting 14 new episodes tomorrow. God love the internet.
I am not political, but sometimes I have to say, I do get a bit tired of hearing about how America is a cesspool of violence and corruption when it seems that other countries maybe, just maybe, might be experiencing similar issues?
Another case in point from another country that quite frankly, I adore:
This happened in England. And it is indeed horrific.
Evil is evil. And it happens everywhere.
Meanwhile, circling back to me. I think I failed the first half of my stupid "keep your job" test. Whatever. I am in a funk right now that I'm desperately trying to climb out of, so it's just another disappointment.
Blah. To end on a happy note, did you know that "cat bearding" was a thing? It's so adorable.
I want to try it out with the Nooge. Hopefully soon I'll have a successful pic with minimal damage.
So, the next two days involve testing to determine whether or not I am qualified to perform a job that I detest. If I do not pass, I shall be fired.
The sad part is that even though I detest this job, it means very much to me that I pass these tests. Because God forbid I feel the embarrassment of failure. It's an ego thing; it's not so much about the job, because I couldn't give a fuck about this job, but god forbid I am perceived as a failure at anything...even if it is something that I despise.
So off to bed I got to at least get 7 hours of good sleep.
There are so many thoughts running through my head. *sigh* Depression and hormones are a hell of a thing. It's been a while since I have been on an anti-depressant but I feel the need to explore that realm of possibility again. Also, an appointment with a gyno to determine what sort of treatment I need to start to get a hold of this absolutely depressing, frustrating, god-awful mood I have been in. Especially because it seems that I do not even have PMS to blame.
I am so frustrated with myself. I had at one point gotten down to an acceptable 155 lbs that I was quite happy with, but over the course of the months of having a miserable job wherein all I do is sit on my ass, I have managed to gain back 25 lbs in a relatively short period of time.
I have had a life long struggle with my weight. And this 25 pounds just discourages me and depresses me even further because I feel like I am losing the tenuous self control I had on myself. And it just seemed to happen overnight.
Logically, I know what to do. Exercise, and eating healthy. Believe me, I know. I have spent most of my life researching both. I know exactly what I should do; it's just having the motivation to do it that I find the most difficulty with.
And this is where I cast the blame on everyone but myself:
We don't have the money to join the gym or the Y.
We don't have the money to spend on healthy food so that's why I'm eating pasta instead of salads.
I don't have the energy after dismal days at work to even think about exercising before or after my 8.5 hours of hell that I have to spend on earth every day.
Burgers and fries taste so much more awesome than turkey and steamed vegetables.
Water tastes like spit, diet soda is just as good.
I just feel so fucking hungry all the time. And it feels like I have nothing else to turn to. I don't drink, don't smoke, don't have any hobbies, nothing else to distract me from wallowing in my misery.
So tell me, what do you do? My mother is getting her pool in order so I'm going to start swimming again, which is awesome, because it is exercise in which I don't have to sweat, and I do love to swim, so there's that, but what else?
I need some other distractions, people. Because I long ago gave up the goal of being the perfect 10. I just want to feel comfortable, happy, and healthy in my own skin.
Another weekend at the beach, yes, I know my life is so hard. Whatever.
Anyway, it was a very nice weekend, with more relaxation than work, and I have come to the decision that I am going to retire at the beach...hopefully within the next year.
In my dreams. OH, but I wish I could, because how I envy the laid back, easy going, island life. Even the Rottenator is in a better mood at the beach. There's just something about it.
So, thanks to my sister and brother-in-law, there was less furniture putting together, and more relaxing, and more eating this weekend, which is good and bad. And I cannot truly distinguish between the two, so I will offer you a mixture of both:
First good and bad: we had time to explore Botany Bay which is a protected nature habitat near Edisto Island which is great if you love birds and wildlife and, as the Rottenator calls them, "tree-hugging hippies". Whatever, is was very pretty, even though the "tour" left much to be desired.
I would insert a bunch of pictures here of our tour and how anti-spectacular it exactly was but for some reason, my phone and my computer are not communicating so you will have to just imagine the spectacular that was the "stone beehive"...and imagine the Rottenator saying, "What...the...fuck...this...is...bullshit..." as he sped up the car and we whizzed by at 100 mph.
And for once, I did not blame him. I was done at the ruins of the plantation house that consisted of a pile of bricks that sat surrounded by what I assume is electronic fencing. And this was after we passed the John Deere tractors. Did they have those back in the 1800s?
Needless to say, the tour was not memorable. But the beach was very nice, and the shells were quite pretty...to look at. Because don't take one, or someone might report you to 1-800-Thief, and then...yeah, well, get ready to pony up that $470 Mister, or you're off to the pokey.
Despite the disappointment of the tour, the beach is very pretty. Au natural, as it were. So, not a wasted walk. I will now offer you up a link of spectacular photos to look at because I cannot provide my own: Gorgeous.
I loved the hermit crabs the most.
Part two of the good and bad: oh my Jeebus did I eat too much this weekend! I mean seriously, I am done. Not just with seafood, but I'm talking all of it: biscuits, chicken, hamburgers, shrimp, red snapper, hollandaise sauce, crab, more shrimp, more burgers, more Rubens, more chips and salsa, Reeses white peanut butter cups, Snickers peanut butter bites, you are all the devil! I renounce you all!
So, moving on, the diet starts tomorrow. Power bar breakfast, yogurt for lunch, lean cuisine for dinner. I'm not fucking around. Just one week of this and I'll be back on course. Because I am pretty fucking sick of my belly jiggling like Santa Claus every time I laugh. Yes, before you start, I have weight issues. I finally got to the point where I am in the "normal" weight range and I'm not about to let it go now, and I see my triggers and I'm catching the problem before it becomes a true issue. This is just me. A daily struggle on how to be healthy.
Meanwhile, my mother is about to get her pool all kinds of fancied up with a new liner so that's how I plan to spend my summer: laps in the pool. Because god knows, the only thing I hate more than excercise is sweating, so I figure, burning off some calories in the pool is a win-win...win.
In the meantime, I adore this tune, so here is My Mood Ring(tone) of the Day:
Are you kidding me, he is in Batman footie pajamas, how could I not love him?
Quick post, because work has been particularly draining, depressing, exhausting, and soul sucking this week.
But, the Rottenator has decided that the Nooge has a new name. Behold: Fatboy Slim.
I am torn. Because although I object to the potential self-esteem issues it may cause him by being called "Fatboy" I can't help but admire the fact that the Rottenator, lover of all things rap, has (albeit perhaps unknowingly) happened upon the moniker of one of my favorite Britpop/Techno dj's of all times...
Norman Cook.
I call him Britpop/Techno because, well, I'm probably out of times with current music of the day, but he was one of the members of my favorite bands, the Housemartins:
Don't think that I don't die a little bit inside to realize this was 27 years ago...oh...my...god...
Needless to say, I still love Paul Heaton, who went on to form the Beautiful South and also, Norman Cook, who became Fatboy Slim.
He also played at the London Olympics, which, yay, still relevant!
Anyway...the katten...he will always be Sir Nigel Wentworth Noogington, Esq. to me...despite what the Rottenator says....btw, every time I look at the Nooge, the first thought in my mind is "poe-faced". Even though I've always heard that expression, I never completely knew what it meant. But upon reading this definition:
British
: having an assumed solemn, serious, or earnest expression or manner : piously or hypocritically solemn
I see that it totally fits.
In other news, we have another beach trip planned for this weekend, which I am beyond looking forward to. And maybe a side-trip to Charleston. If you're not familiar with Charleston, SC, it's like Savannah GA, except without the nastiness. And if you're not familiar with Savannah...don't worry, you don't need to be...
I mean, I get the controversy, okay, whatever, there's always controversy, but the ad in itself:
Maybe because I didn't see the concept from the very beginning, but still and all...I don't get it.
I'm normally not an easily offended person, but I find this ad disturbing....highly disturbing and not at all humorous...but perhaps it's because it's advertising a soft drink that I find offensive in itself.
And speaking of offensive...
The Rottenator and I are quarreling because I desperately need new summer clothes and his laughably $40 budget for a new wardrobe just wasn't going to cut it, so when he saw my $75 Wal-Mart order of, check it, 3 skirts, and 2 shirts, he had issues.
Just wait until he finds out I'm not even done yet. AND the fact that I'm even buying clothes from Wal-Mart sends me into all sorts of conflicting levels of rage. I hate this store and everything it stands for on so many levels. I don't even want to talk about it.
OH, and so my sister and brother-in-law are down at my mother's beach house this weekend, and my brother-in-law (God Bless him) took it upon himself to put together some of the beach furniture that the Rottenator & I couldn't get done in one weekend.
My thoughts: that is freakin' awesome, less work for us, yay! The Rottenator's thoughts:
"So...even though I didn't want to do it, I would have done it, but now it's been done, and so now I look like I'm not handy,and I never claimed to be handy around the house so I use that as an excuse to not pick up pine-cones in the yard or properly replace glass panels in our kitchen windows that our stupid cat knocked out on his quest to escape this torture chamber and attack every living creature that existed on this planet."
I have my own low self-esteem to deal with without coddling the ego of an almost 30 year old man. My immediate reaction: "Stop being so defensive and suck it the fuck up and start performing manly duties around the house so you don't look like such a pussy when your 'woman' is actually the handy-man in the relationship."
You should be fucking embarrassed. Man the Fuck Up. And don't give me your arguments about sexism, or anything like that. If I'm the one who is cleaning and cooking and making the house look pretty, your ass better be the one changing lightbulbs and checking the air pressure on car tires.
I'm just saying...
The Alabama duct tape is not a "nailed it" situation, let's go ahead and get this taken care of, mmmkay? Because I'm two seconds away from calling a professional handyman to take care of all of the little chores around this house, male ego be damned!
This is in no way healthy, or low in calories, or in any way good for you, but ehrmagerd, it is sooo good!
It's a homemade version of the excellent Outback dish, and bonus, it will allow you to order a steak or the prime rib at Outback without wasting your money on a chicken dish...at a steakhouse. That is ridiculous in itself.
So, there are many versions of this recipe online, and I have combined a few to make my favorite...well, that's a lie. It's not really my favorite, because my favorite entails homemade honey mustard dressing, but this one is quick and easy, and thus, it has become my new favorite, especially during the week, when I am exhausted and time is of the essence.
Okay, that's also a lie, because you do kinda have to start this recipe the night before, but not too much prep, I promise.
Ingredients:
4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
1/2 c. Worcestershire sauce
8 oz button mushrooms (or any mushrooms, really), sliced
8 slices of bacon
1 bottle honey-mustard dressing (I used Ken's, 16 oz)
8 oz Monterrey jack cheese
non-stick cooking spray
1 T. butter
The night before, place chicken breasts in a plastic Ziploc bag and pound the hell out of them until they're about 1" thick. Pour in Worcestershire sauce, and let the chicken marinate overnight.
The next day:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Get a 9x11 baking dish (glass or metal, whatever). Spray that bad boy down with the cooking spray. Set aside.
In a non-stick pan, melt butter and saute mushrooms until nice and soft, about 5 min. Set aside.
In same pan, fry 8 slices of bacon until crisp, set aside. When it's cooled down, crumble up into bacon-bit sized pieces. Let it remain...aside.
Next, pour off excess marinade from chicken and brown in same skillet where you just fried the bacon (told ya it wasn't healthy), 3-4 min each side.
Place chicken breasts in baking dish.
Pour honey mustard dressing over each breast. Next, add sauteed mushrooms. Next, add bacon. Next, cover with cheese.
Cover with tin-foil and bake about 25 min.
Ta-day! Deliciousness! Enjoy; we certainly did.
My Mood Ring(tone) of the Day:
God, how I love Angel...I mean Booth...I mean, David Boreanaz...well, not so much the last one.
Incidentally, this is "our" song; I'm talking about me and the Rottenator...although, he's probably not as sentimental about it as I am. I've been a bit irritated with him lately; I'd like to say it was because he was being an asshole, but it's more likely that I've just been in a bitchy mood.
I've just finished preparing a ginormous packet of useless paperwork to send to the IRS to prove to them why I can't possibly pay off the exorbitant debt that they claim I owe. I've managed to make it as confusing and disorganized as possible; payback, you might say, for how I've found their dealings with me when it comes to this situation.
Plus, my income is approximately $30 less than my outcome per month so let's see how they handle that.
Also, I desperately need new clothes. Like, desperately. I do not know how I managed to overlook this, but I have no appropriate spring/summer clothes. So I'm danger of either quitting my job for fear of appearing like a hobbit hobo or dying of heat-stroke because I'm wearing wool sweaters in 80 degree weather. So, despite the Rottenator's budget, I am going shopping this weekend.
I had a "WOW" call evaluation at work which probably means nothing to you, much as it means nothing to me other than the fact that maybe I'll be left alone for a minute. Basically, it looks like I'm fairly competent at a job that I despise. I don't know how I feel about that.
Other than that, nothing new.
Although, after reviewing my recent posts and Mood Ring(tones) of the Day, I have come to realize that I am this guy:
I'll have to examine that in a future post, how to reconcile my love of Britpop and Rap and the occasional country song into one cohesive summation of my overall being.
But in the meantime, I'll just share this picture of a pine tree that I captured at work the other day.
It is totally giving the world the finger. I am this pine tree.
And to continue with my seemingly out of character Mood Ring(tone) of the Day, I give you:
Incidentally, this song was played both at my sister's bachelorette party AND her wedding reception. We are an interesting family indeed.
I'm done. 
