Saturday, April 27, 2013

My Three Favorite New Shows

In lieu of an actual interesting post wherein I detail the fabulosity of my life (ha!), I've decided to provide a brief recap of shows that I'm currently watching that are not, surprise, all reality shows. Because I think it's a good thing to embrace shows that still show a little bit of originality, a little bit of a story-line and a little bit of, dare I say it, drama!

  1. Scandal. No, seriously, watch this show.  I mean...it is very rare that a show catches my attention from the very first episode (in fact I think Buffy was the last pilot that I fully enjoyed) but this one did. It is THAT good! And I'm not even a fan of politics, but this show...my GOD, I love every character on it.  Which is saying a lot, because there is always at least one character on every show that I want dead and buried, but not in this case. In fact, I don't even hate this guy:
He is that damn good as the president. Dammit, I've said too much!  Just watch it; you can catch the first season on Netflix, and the second on Hulu.  And I'm gonna need all of you to catch up on it so we have stuff to discuss.

2.  Elementary My mother turned me onto this show.  And it stars a guy that I've long adored, even back before he got crazy and married Angelina Jolie; back when he was just a Scottish junkie. Not Obi-Wan, the other guy...

He stars as Sherlock Holmes.  He's like a sexy British Monk.  He is awesomesauce.


3.  The Vampire Diaries/The Originals

Hear me out: there is no more Buffy, so I must seek out the vampires where I can; plus, Twilight just doesn't cut it. Plus, TVD is filmed in Atlanta, so I get to point at the TV and say, "Hey, I've BEEN there!" when they show all of the different neighborhoods.  My sister and I are planning a stalking trip at some point to meet the cast. I am a celebrity stalking professional, btw. But in a sweet non-obtrusive way.  Not in a throw my pubic hair in your face way. Poor Wolverine.

Plus, Damon and Klaus are damn hot. 'Nuff said.

What are you watching?  I'm always up for new suggestions because until the return of some incarnation of Top Chef, there's a hole in my DVR that needs filling.

My Mood Ring(tone) Of The Day:


Thursday, April 25, 2013

Afraid To Admit I'm Bovvered...

One of the most annoying things I find about life is that the very second you have that thought of "hmmm...I'm feeling a bit bored right now", it  doesn't hit you with a "Hey! You just won the lottery!" Or even, "Hey! You just won a $150 free grocery card!" or even, "Hey! You just won a vacation package to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter (if only)!"

Life is more likely to reward you with a "Hey! You're being audited by the IRS!" Or, "Hey! You're getting fired from  your job!" Or even, "Hey! You have a tumor!"

So I will refrain from saying that I'm rather bored with my daily routine right now for fear of some astronomical catastrophe befalling me, but I would like to say...I'm bovvered.

I've had enough drama in my life to not wish any more upon myself, but I'm really...bovvered by my job; by the most exciting decision I have to make is to choose which all you can eat buffet I want to patronize; by which of the three articles of clothing that actually fit I decide to wear today.

And if you mention anything about Kathleen having "first world problems" I will stab you in the face with an icepick.

Did I happen to mention I may be a wee bit hormonal, and if this period doesn't hurry the fuck up,  there is going to be a bloodbath...no pun intended.  All Rottenators and Nooges better heed this warning.

My Mood Ring(tone) Of The Day:


Saturday, April 20, 2013

We Are More Beautiful Than We Think...

I don't care if the basic idea of this project was to sell a product, this is one of the most amazeballs marketing campaigns I have ever seen, and I think that all women should have some sort of evaluation of themselves done by someone other than themselves.

Because we are our own worst critics.

And we are all beautiful.  It stuns me that we can see the beauty in other people that we love:  we can overlook the receding hairlines, the pot-bellies,the gray hairs, the wrinkles, the pimples, the saggy skin of our loved ones, but then we look in the mirror, and that's all we see in ourselves.

I am my own worst critic.  But I can honestly tell you that every person that I love in my life, I find beautiful and I don't even think about the other very superficial things that I hate about myself when I see them.

And not to exclude anyone, but we chubby girls are the WORST when it comes to that. Not that I blame us completely; society has always told us that we are ugly, that we deserve less, that we are the lowest of the low.  And we bought into that.  And walk around with our heads hung low, shoulders hunched over, trying to not be noticed.

Well, fuck that.  I'm not saying that I'm going out and buying a tube top and a mini-skirt tomorrow, but at the very least, I am going to go out and feel okay about my gray roots and my flabby thighs and drooping boobs.

And I just may put a bejeweled crown on my head and a blingy Hello Kitty necklace around my neck because why the hell not. I've earned it.

My Mood Ring(tones) Of The Day:



Thursday, April 18, 2013

Sometimes Sports Do Matter...

Incidentally, my favorite part of this video is the row of Yankees fans who look slightly embarrassed but are still like, "yeah, yeah...god dammit...respect..."

If you don't know the history and the fierceness of this rivalry, you can read about it here which just goes to show you how momentousness this occasion was.

Because if any city knows what it's like to go through something like this, God Bless, NYC does...on a much larger scale. 

I haven't really posted on this yet,and I'm not going to wax poetic on it, or go all "America, Fuck Yeah!" on you, because I have an extra special love for Boston that has prevented me from really addressing this...

But yeah...whenever something horrific happens in this world, it's a blessing to see that we all seem to come together, and that basic humanity wins out in the long run.

And now a tribute to the Boston accent that to me is one of the best accents in the world ever...


 And of course:

God, I love Boston.

My Mood Ring(tone) Of The Day (natch)...


Sunday, April 14, 2013

Caught in the act...

Asshole! This is why we can't have nice things!


My Magical Crockpot of Deliciousness: Beef Stew

The Rottenator does love his stew.  And I welcomed the opportunity to cook something other than Hamburger Helper or Beans and Rice so today's meal of Beef Stew was a happy change of pace.

Behold...

My apologies to Riot Kitty; this one ain't for you ;-)


What you'll need:

2 lbs of stew meat
1 lb red potatoes, cubed, skins on
2 celery hearts, roughly chopped
1 large sweet onion, roughly chopped
1 pt cherry tomatoes, sliced
1 pkg baby carrots, pre-washed and peeled
1 envelope Lipton's Onion Soup mix
1 can cream of mushroom and roasted garlic soup
2 T. flour
2 T. olive oil
1/4 c. Worcestershire sauce
1/4 c. Dale's steak sauce
Seasonings to taste (I'm not giving measurements, because we are a family that loves salt, but really between the soup mix, sauces, and soup you really don't need anymore...but you can't be Southern and not add some Lawry's...)
salt
pepper
garlic powder
non-stick cooking spray (like Pam)

Heat 2 T. olive oil in a pan; sprinkle flour, Lawry's seasoned salt, pepper, and garlic powder over stew meat and toss to coat.

Lightly brown stew meat in pan for seriously, 2-3 min, just enough to seal in those delicious juices.

Spray crockpot with non-stick cooking spray, and throw that stew beef in there.

Chop veggies and throw them all in a big tupperware bowl, lightly salt and pepper and stir to mix them all up.  Or pop a top on that bowl and turn it upside down and shake until they're all mixed up and pretty.

In another bowl, pour in worchestershire sauce and Dale's; add soup mix and whisk together.  Next, add can of soup, whisk some more until it's smooth.

Throw half of the veggies into the crockpot on top of the stew meat.  Add half of your soupy mixture.

Throw the remaining half of veggies into the crockpot, and the rest of the soup sludge.

Top on top of crockpot, cook 6-8 hours, depending on your crockpot.  This is my first time trying out my sister's hand-me-down crockpot and she says it's a fast-cooking one, so I'm going for six. It actually took about 8 hours for the potatoes and carrots to get completely done...

Now, a lot of people love crockpots because you can just leave it.  I like to check on it every two hours and give it another stir, but that's me.  And that's why this meal is best made on a weekend.

Back to work tomorrow, blech!  But it's a paycheck that brings me that much closer to The Wizarding World of Harry Potter so I will endure...

My Mood Ring(tone) Of The Day...and this one is dedicated to Riot Kitty because she recently reminded me of one of my favorite movies, and what it is like to grow old gracefully and fabulously.




Saturday, April 13, 2013

Ass Cat!

If the couch has a permanent indentation of your ass, you may have a weight problem.

Though who am I to judge; the same could be said for the recliner that I am currently residing in.

Incidentally, I need to post that little turd's picture on http://shameyourpet.com/ because in the brief hour that the Rottenator and I were out today, he managed to somehow swipe down one of the Moroccan lamps I have on the mantle, and now it sits there all wonky and fractured. but I can't bear to throw it away because I love symmetry.

 And now looking at that photo, I realize that I need another framed picture on the right side of my mantle because the symmetry is totally off...and the photo is crooked.  God!

Meanwhile, have you been following the Masters coverage?  No?  Me either, which is a shame because it is happening 15 minutes away but I can't bring myself to care because let's face it, golf is not high on my list of fascinating things to watch.

That being said, the Rottenator bought a Tiger Woods XBox Golf Game today.  You know what's more boring than golf?  Watching someone play a golf video game...badly.

Is it college football season yet?

My Mood Ring(tone) Of The Day:


Friday, April 12, 2013

Do not go gentle into that good night...

And I don't plan to, motherfucker.  Oh my god, I'm old.  I'm so old, I'm like, "what the fuck, you're over 40?" old.

No, I'm sorry.  I am not embracing the whole "grow old gracefully" theory.  I hate it.  I hate every wrinkle, every thinning and gray hair, every fat dimple on my body.

What brought this on is that one of my acquaintances in my former life in Atlanta just posted about how she turned 50...

.http://www.atlantamagazine.com/hollisgillespie/2013/02/01/scene-stealers
.http://www.atlantamagazine.com/hollisgillespie/2013/02/01/scene-stealers


(BTW, I love her, she is hilarious, and you should check her out...)

But still...she just turned 50.  I don't know why this struck me harder than seeing Facebook pictures of my college friends sporting gray hair and having 20 year old kids, but it did.

Maybe because she's always been a role model of mine: slightly older, always glamorous, witty, and smart, and she's accomplished what I always wanted to in life...she's being paid for her wit and humor and writing ability and is still fashionable and beautiful and stylish.

As she well deserves, because from knowing her in the "old days", she's been through her struggles as well.  And she had the guts to hang in there through the struggles, and continue with what she was passionate about and is finally successful at doing something she loves.  Writing...for a living...successfully.

I wish in my younger years I'd been more self-confident, with a higher self-esteem, and the courage to just go for it.  But I didn't.

And so now I'm here...not a terrible life, but not a spectacular one either.

Incidentally, have you ever seen the movie "Defending Your Life"?  Because it is my favorite movie of all times and pretty much sums up how I feel about my existence on this earth.

Albert Brooks...you are the only one who gets me.



Thursday, April 11, 2013

Guilty Pleasures..The Video Version...

So, because I'm bored and self-involved, and I have the day off tomorrow (this time, an "approved" day off, Mother), I've decided the best use of my time (instead of vacuuming up dustbunnies, natch) is to come up with a list of my guilty pleasures...and also because I'd like to see if other people might share their own.

In no particular order:

1. Moonshiners.

I kinda have a crush on Tickle: "The cause and the remedy was one in the same."

2.  The Vampire Diaries.
I kinda have a crush on Ian Sommerhalder...well, not the actor so much as the character.

3. Cheesy/Inappropriate Christmas songs.
The last one is my absolute fave.

4.  Pit Boss.
5. Say Yes To The Dress...Atlanta
6. My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding
Literally live right down the street from me.

7.  Velveeta and Cream of Whatever Soup.
Beef Stroganoff with Velveeta cheese...and this is why I'm fat.

8.  Will Farrell and Vince Vaughn
 
9.  Psychics.
                                                                                      
 
I just feel if they make people feel better...they can't be all wrong...right?


The best thing I can say about this is...it's cured my fascination with Facebook.

Discuss...

                                                                       

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

And Now I Feel Guilty...Like I Need More Of This In My Life....

So the Nooge has an equally annoying and sweet habit of "making biscuits" on any part of my soft and cushy body that he can.

It's very sweet, because it means that he was probably weened too soon, and that he recognizes me as his "mama", so that part is comforting.

The other part is...it hurts like hell because his claws are sharp as fuck, as he is wont to keep them.

Well, tonight he was a little too enthusiastic about his contentment and when he dug in particularly hard, my natural reflex was to smack him away and yell...as one would an annoying and unexpected insect that was causing extreme pain.

And his little face at that reaction when he leapt from my lap and turned back to stare at me with big Puss'n Boots eyes.

And of course I burst into hysterical tears.  Because I am PMS-ing, (I think, maybe, who knows), and because I'm equally annoyed with everything in my life.

My job, where every time you turn around, there's another vaguely threatening email about how you will get fired if you step out of line in anyway; my home life, where I have no energy to clean, so my Virgo side is freaking the fuck out about the dustbunnies and floors that need vacuuming, and the eating of craptacular food because we're saving up for another car.

Incidentally, the Rottenator and I did go to PF Changs the other day, which has been our "go-to-mid-range-not-exactly-authentic-but-always-delicious-Asian-restaurant" and they had updated their menu...which included no-more Wok-Seared lamb, which devastated the Rottenator, and they'd added "Shaking Beef"...which made me violently nauseous at least three times during "Jurassic Park 3-D in Imax".  Highly disappointing for our one and only date-night in quite a few months.

Just another thing to mark on the list of things that are irritating the fuck out of me in my life.

My Mood(ring) Tones of the Day:

Incidentally, did you know that the Violent Femmes did a cover of this song?  Me either!

Which brings me to this:


Monday, April 8, 2013

Flames...

Seriously, how do you guys with kids do it? Because I can barely spend a day with the Nooge without wanting him to die in a violent "accident".

Oh, yeah, sure, he looks innocent, but trust me, he is not.  He is 20 lbs of furry evil. I don't think it's a coincidence that his birthday is April 20th.

You know who else was born on April 20th?

I'm just sayin'...we have not had a good weekend together.

Also, the pollen is out of control down here.  Have you ever seen pollen underneath a microscope?



This is why I can't breathe and my eyes are red and burny.  And yes, I feel sympathy for those of you who are still experiencing an ass-load of snow when it's supposed to be spring, but our very mild winter means that the pollen is out of control.

The following videos express what we're experiencing down here; just imagine billions of those little fuckers invading your sinus cavities and clinging on for dear life.

So, due to unforeseen complications such as not being able to breathe, and PMS-overload, I'm taking a day off from work to sit.  Not that I haven't just spent a weekend of sitting, but I think one more day might do me...so I don't end up like this...

My  Mood Ring(tone) Of The Day:



Saturday, April 6, 2013

C is for cookies...





That's good enough for me; however, it is not good enough for the Rottenator.  Mr. "We need to save money for a second car and Harry Potter blah blah blah" would not touch a left-over even if it slapped him in the face and demanded to be eaten.

I don't get it.  I can make a beef stew on Sunday, and still be snacking on it for lunch on Tuesday.

The Rottenator, however, is convinced that bacteria starts forming on meat within two hours of it being prepared so he won't touch it.

HOWEVER, he will chow down on a chocolate peanut butter Reeses bunny like it's nobody's business if it's left in a cabinet for more than one day.

He ate the face first.  Then finished off the rest of it with abandon.

I relayed this information to my mother who happened to mention that I may possibly have food issues (duh!) and this particular "all the food in the universe is mine don't touch it or I'll cut you" impulse is heriditary.

Good to know I'm crazy for a reason.  It seems my father was the same way.  In fact, the Mother relayed an incident wherein my father and my godfather left their chocolate bunnies in the refridgerator for more than one hour and she devoured them both and my dad freaked the fuck out. With good reason.  My mother's explanation:

"Well I warned them."  Are you kidding me?  THAT IS NO EXCUSE!!!!

It was MY chocolate peanut butter bunny and there will never be another one like it and you took it from me and now you must suffer and possibly die.

Those are the consequences of touching MY food.

Tell me people, who is right in this situation?  And if you say that it's anyone other than me, believe me, I know how to cut a bitch.

My Mood Ring(tone) Of The Day:


Thursday, April 4, 2013

Bananas in Pyjamas

So my mate Birdie is recovering from a bit of major surgery, and after reading her post, and I hope she's not offended, but it immediately brought me back to memories of this:

Mostly because she spelled it like "Pyjamas" in that wonderfully British/Canadian/Australian way.

And also because I remember weekends at my first job in Atlanta, at WUPA, way back in 1996, when the world was my oyster.  I was working the overnight shift, Master Control, as in, controlling what people saw on their TVs if they happened to be up at 7am on Saturday mornings, or up at night watching infomercials.

Those were the days.

I worked in television for quite a long time.  Hell, I went to the University of Georgia to major in Journalism and my first job in my "field" was playing country music videos overnights at a local station in Athens, GA.

I still have a soft spot in my heart for Dwight Yoakam because of this, but even more so for Lyle Lovett, because his videos tended to run for at least 8-9 minutes and would afford me a brief nap on the couch in the studio in between commercial breaks.

I miss working in television and media.  My current job is so...blah.  Just as I miss working in a big city.  Yes, there are benefits to living in a smaller Southern town: less traffic, closer to my family, more laid back, etc, but I also miss the advantages of the bigger city...and the excitement...and the making near $60k a year when I make half that now.

But life is what it is, and I've done it to myself.  And life isn't all that bad...just a little on the boring side.

But despite what it looks like, I am not complaining, because I much prefer this life to what it was about three years ago.  Every day is another step forward.

My Mood Ring(tone) Of The Day:

video
PS: I especially love this clip from "Little Miss Sunshine", one of my most favorite movies ever, because I totally relate to the Steve Carell character, and his line in this scene pretty much sums up my feelings about people in general if they dare to cross me or one of my loved ones:

"Those fuckers...I will kill them..."

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Sometimes It's Hard To Be A Woman

So one of the girls I work with stopped by to talk to me and took one look at my hands and said, "Oh wow...I don't think I've ever seen your nails like that."

Like what?  Not manicured?  Yeah, I suppose you have not, heifer.  Thanks for noticing.

Did I mention that the Rottenator and I are saving up to buy a second car so we've cut out the "extras"?

And extras mean nails and haircuts and perfume and food other than Hamburger Helper and Beans and Rice...

But it's for a good cause.  And I'm on board...kinda...though I do miss my nails.

I don't miss the process, however.  I always enjoyed the look of my nails after a manicure, but I never enjoy the sitting and making conversation with complete strangers.  Just do my nails, okay?  No time for chit chat, not necessary.

Different from a pedicure. I do love a spa pedicure, I have to say.  I'm all about massages and pedicures and that sort of pampering.

But nails and haircuts; those I see almost as doctor's appointments: necessary, but not exactly enjoyable.

I do miss my perfume, though.  I've recently discovered Jo Malone, who is a "perfumer" I guess, I don't know the technical term for it, from London, and every scent she has is deliciously yummy!  I ordered a samplers pack of her fragrances from Ebay before the lockdown on the cash, and fell in love.

She makes me feel girly.  I'm not the girliest of girls but I do like to feel pretty on occasion. I find it's more and more difficult the deeper into my 40s I get.

It's weird: a part of me, especially when I was really heavy, wanted to be someone that just disappeared into the crowd and was barely noticed, but that's an odd feeling, too.  Because now I am just a middle-aged generic woman who is easily forgotten, never gets a second look, and is just kind of...there.

First world problems, right?  That being said, I do miss the days of being able to dye my hair purple, wear Doc Martens and Hello Kitty, and have my tongue pierced.

Those were the days...but I wasn't any happier then.  It's funny how the older we get, the more we romanticize our past instead of remembering how it really was.

All being said, life is okay right now.  And if skipping a few nail appointments and hair cuts means that I can see Harry Potter and we can get another car, I'll make the sacrifice.

My Mood Ring(tone) Of The Day: