Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Count Blah

Glad to know I'm not the only one in a funk.

And also good to know it's not entirely period, job or life related.  It's those god dang planets.  And the weather.

So you know how you start a new job and you have high hopes that this is going to be the ONE? The life changer, the new career path?

Yeah, me neither.  Well actually that's not entirely true. I had a job once where I had high hopes that it was the ONE.  Well, it turned out (through both its fault and my own) not to be, so I floundered around for a while (you know, almost dying, wasting my life, working retail...actually those three things could be one in the same couldn't they?) until I found this one and I thought...

Okay.  I can do this.  It's a job, pays pretty well, good benefits, kinda-sorta similar to what I've done before, low key and low pressure, I'll take it.

Well, it's kicking my ass.  And it's not even the job yet; it's the training of the job that I'm finding hard to deal with so what the HELL is going to happen when I actually start the job itself?  I dunno...I hope I can handle it.  I'm filled with self-doubt, not necessarily about my abilities...well, that's not true.  I do doubt my abilities.

I hear all the time "you're smart, you'll get it, you'll catch on, you'll be fine" but I'm not as young as I used to be kiddos, and my brain realizes this.  Unfortunately.

It doesn't help that my trainer sucks and even the people who claim to be struggling and not "getting it" seem FAR more advanced and further along in their knowledge and abilities than I.

And it doesn't help that the one guy who started with me, Little Man Tate, certified idiot, has done better on our assessment test than myself.  It sucks.  He sucks, he doesn't give two shits about this job, and is excelling.  What...The...Hell...I don't get it.

I have my second test next Tuesday.  And I hope I'll be fine. It's not the "if you fail, you get fired" biggie exam, but it's still pressure.

So I'm glad to know it's the planets working against me.  And I'll be happy for the long weekend...that I'll probably spend studying.

Is it Friday yet?

Here's this, which I thought of when I titled this post; I'm probably the only person on the planet who remembers and loved this show (Seth Green can do no wrong).

My Mood Ring(tone) of the Day:

Quick aside: this is my 100th post.  A minor milestone of sorts.  Hurrah.  Wish it wasn't such a downer.

Sunday, August 26, 2012


Today is my first day of doing big fat nothing in a long time, so that's what I plan on doing: well, other than this, obviously.

Again, let me mention how happy I am to be home after my hell trip.  Unlike my first work trip away in Texas, this one was god awful.  It has a lot to do with our instructor who was a passive aggressive twat bitch from hell.  I loathe and despise this person.  And I don't loathe and despise a great deal of their face.

That being said, I shall be receiving a new instructor soon and will never have to deal with this individual again...until it's review time.  Then I shall exact my revenge.

So, onto random thoughts I'm having today.

  • If you don't know of this man, you should.

Not only because of the fact that he was one half of the hysterical British comedy duo Fry and Laurie with this brilliantly handsome and talented individual:

but also because he wrote this to a depressed fan.  I find it wonderful.
  • If I had an expense account and unlimited access to all sorts of delectable foods I could quite possibly double my current weight within a month's time.
  • I'm ready for the fall and Halloween.  So is my local grocery store.

  • Piling dirty dishes neatly in a dish drainer does not make them magically clean...I'm looking at you, Rottenator.
  • Absence does not necessarily make the heart grow fonder...I'm looking at you, Nooge.
  • Speaking of the Rottenator and the Nooge, they have a whole routine going on behind my back which I was unaware of until today:

My cellphone camera sucks, so click to enlarge

 You may not be able to see it clearly, but there are angry and demanding cat eyeballs focused in on the Rottenator.  I wonder if he can feel the heat from the lasers shooting flames into his brain.  Apparently this happens every day around 11am if someone's routine is disrupted by stupid important and necessary online football games.
  • I also found out today that the Nooge is deathly afraid of farts and will sprint from the room in a panic when he hears one.  In unrelated news, I made a huge pot of delicious chili today that I have eaten about three huge bowls of.
  • My sister has eerie powers.  She recently experienced a traumatic kickball related incident which resulted in her faceplanting into the ground so hard her boobs are now coming out of her back.
Not an actual pic of my sister

Her powers are not her new backboobs, her power is that the force of her impact caused the menstrual cycles of millions of women everywhere to spontaneously erupt at once.  It's a proven fact. There are at least two known recorded cases.

If you are among the formerly bloated and cranky many, she would like me to extend a "you're welcome" on her behalf.

Have I mentioned that I am very tired and travel wearied today and dreading tomorrow?  If not, I think this pic speaks for itself.

My Mood Ring(tone) of the Moment:

I was a part of it...

The only good thing about this god-awful business trip to New Jersey was the one night and few hours I got to spend in NYC.  It's been about 13 years since I've been there and I've been anxious to go back so I was happy for the opportunity.

Not much about the city has changed; however, I have.  The hustle and bustle of Times Square, the endless suffocating crowds and the brusque, hurriedly rude pace of the New Yorkers no longer appeals to me.  Yes, I will go back, but whereas before, I always thought I could live happily in the big Apple, I realize at this age that...nah, I'd prefer not to. 

Plus, I don't have the zillions of dollars it would take to sustain my ideal urban lifestyle.  I am no longer young enough to be satisfied with a 12 story, roach infested, walkup closet as my domicile.  And as I cannot yet afford a Wall Street or Olson twins type of penthouse apartment, I'll live happily in my two bedroom house with Bella Cucina quite happily.

And drag the Rottenator into the city for a vacation at least once during Christmas time.  He did promise, after all.

In the meantime, here are some stereotypical but very representative pictures of Times Square. which included my own personal Hello Kitty Graceland.

Yes, I stood and stared in awe with my mouth hanging open at all the adorableness. I may have even drooled a little. But I also restrained myself.  Only $60 spent to indulge my psychotic endearing obsession hobby.

Requisite Black and White cookie, natch

Lincoln Tunnel drive in courtesy of Meryl

Time Square

And...the Holy Mecca...
Couldn't you almost DIE of the cuteness?  I almost did...

Doesn't this guy look excited to be working around all of the 4 and 40 year old females who were shrieking with delight?
And this is what awaited me upon my return home.
My own personal Hello Kitty terror.  It is good to be home.

My Mood Ring(tone) of the Day:

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Modern Family Reunion

Yes, today was the much anticipated family reunion that I have been looking forward to for weeks, and it was all that and a bag of chips.  Or, more specifically, all that and a yummy bucket of Frogmore Stew, potato salad and entertaining relatives.

It couldn't have been nicer.  It was in honor of my aunt's 75th birthday and her son hosted it at his gorgeous house and we all showed up looking our most gorgeous selves and it was SO much fun to reminisce, eat, laugh, reconnect, and catch up on what we've all been up to the past few decades.

I wish I had more pictures but my phone camera sucks, and I don't have a real camera, so I'll have to await pics posted by my sister before I can update and steal them, but in the meantime I will post two that I have stolen from my cousin...or should I say, my long lost sister.

My real sis, cousin-sister, and me!

 See, that shorty in the middle is our cousin Miss Priss as she is affectionately known, and she's actually our double cousin because her mom is our mom's cousin, and her dad is our father's brother, so I guess it's safe to say our family tree doesn't branch out too far.  Hey, we are Southern.

Don't we look beautiful though?  This is only an example of the beauty present at the reunion.  Here is the first generation, brothers and sisters from whom we have all inherited our good looks, our biting sarcasm, our wit and humor, our downright orneriness at times, and our excessive sweat glands and unruly hair.

The OG Originals
No, we are not perfect, and we have our foibles and faults, but I love these people with all my heart.

There were no wrinkles, no gray hairs, expanded waistlines, old standing feuds, or petty disagreements present.  There was  And it was beautiful.

I wish my crappy camera could have done justice to the beautiful flower arrangements on the tables, but you'll have to take my word that they were spectacular as well.

But alas, there was no tunafish gravy.  But maybe next time.  And as a promise to my uncle, I'll work a little harder to regain my Southern accent and stop sounding so much like a damn Yankee.

I hope everyone else had a good weekend.  I'm off tomorrow on a business trip to the NJ/NYC area.  The Rottenator and the Nooge will be left without supervision yet again...god help us all...more specifically, God help my house...and the Nooge.  I hope it's not too much like Thunderdome.

My Mood Ring(tone) of the Day (in preparation for my trip):

Wednesday, August 15, 2012


So, I woke up in a pensive mood today.  Actually, I stepped off the scale in a pensive mood, which, actually, is quite a different feeling than I normally have when dealing with that monster.  Pensive because my weight had fluctuated by 5 lbs from yesterday, so I was immediately like..."what the fuck..." but not in an angry or confused way, more like a calm acceptance of the fact that the scale really is not an accurate tool in which I should judge my success or failure at this diet experiment because I seriously have not adjusted my caloric intake by the extreme amount that it would take to make that much of a difference in my heft...or lack thereof.

And this got me thinking...sure, I originally started this lifestyle change to achieve what most women want...physical perfection.

Even though I lie to myself and say it's because I want to get healthy.  Or lied, I should say, as in the past tense.

See, I work with a very sweet girl that I like very much who lives with lupus. It is a horrible, debilitating painful disease for which there is no cure.  She lives in pain every day, and never complains, is warm, friendly, funny, kind, and spiritual.  In a very non-annoying way, because normally, these are qualities that I disdain in a person (Kidding! I joke!  Kinda...)

And it got me to thinking about my own health and how blessed I really am that I don't wake up every day in pain, that other than a few extra pounds, an occasional backache, or a bloody stump of a toe, I am relatively healthy and pain free.  So what the hell am I bitching about?

The fact is that I have been so lucky to enjoy relative good health in my life, other than illnesses caused by my own foolish behavior.  And how easily have I forgotten that a little over 18 months ago I was in an intensive care unit while this amazing body that I detest and deride every day fought as hard as it could to keep going.

This body that I take for granted, that I criticize for sagging or bulging or wrinkling has actually served me very well these past 40 years and still I complain about it and treat it like shit.  I have pushed it to the very limits of its endurance, and still it carries on, gives me very little problems, and keeps me going.  Literally.

While I was recovering, after one of my numerous blood tests, my doctor informed me that he was concerned about my thyroid levels.  They were a low, and he wanted to keep an eye on them because he was hesitant to put me on any medication to treat it because he wasn't a fan of taking that serious of a step and he wanted to see if the problem would correct itself.

Well my body was like:

And boom, it took care of business.  Next visit...perfect thyroid levels.

Even during the times I didn't want to go on, it never gave up, and kept fighting.

So, my philosophy has changed.  I'm not going to berate myself or it by denying it when it wants a piece of chocolate, but neither am I going to torture it by forcing down a double whopper with cheese because of misplaced anger or frustration.

And I'm not going to stare in the mirror making fun of it, degrading it, or humiliating it any more.  Quite frankly, I'm going to work hard at showing it the respects it deserves, and cherishing it for everything it has done for me.

My Mood Ring(tone) Of the Day:

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Truer Words Were Never Spoken

Nothing else to see here; another diet day bust. Day 10 of overdue period, but yet, all the symptoms are here which leads to one unhappy, bloated, and crampy Kathleen.

Obituaries to follow...

Sunday, August 12, 2012

The current state of my fitness plan...

*sigh* Oh, well.  Tomorrow is another day.

In the meantime, I am enjoying the closing of the Olympic ceremonies.  Rule Britannia!  It was like the soundtrack of my formative years was playing.  My Anglophilia was reborn.

So was my love of one Liam Gallagher.

God how I did and do love that man.

Vast improvement on the hair front.  Would have a pic tonight but as I sit here with a Biore strip across my nose I feel that now is not the appropriate time.

The Rottenator is out of town and though I'm used to being by myself at night, he is usually only five minutes away whereas tonight he is 2.5 hours away so it is a little different.  And the Nooge isn't helping matters; every pop and creak of the house causes him to jump and stare blankly into dark shadows with black eyes which is not the most soothing thing in the world.

So, I'm off to bed while I am still relaxed enough to sleep.  I did get some cleaning done today, as well as my nails, so overall...successful weekend.  We'll just forget about the hot fudge sundae that served as my lunch and roll on.

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Sistahs Are Doin' It For Themselves

So, my sister and I decided to get our hair did this weekend (our respective hairs, we don't share one unfortunately, in this case).

My sister's ultra awesome, glamorous and professional do:

Really?  And note the paleness...I'm surprised I even showed up on camera.  Needless to say, Feria to the rescue tonight...God willing...

Hopefully I'll take the towel off my head and look exactly like the girl above.

*sigh* But that's okay; whenever I start to feel really awful about myself, I just pull up this image and feel a HELL of a lot better.

Though I can't imagine Alyson Hannigan would feel the same...

My Mood Ring(tone) of the Day (in honor of my hair):

Though on second thought...this video is more appropriate to describe the mood of my that I hate every aspect of it...

Dos Testículos

I don't always post this seductively...but when I do, it's in the middle of your bed...without my testicles.

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Guess Who's Back In Town...Minus the Boys

Well, today was the day, and I must say...the  Rottenator and the Nooge handled it much better than I did.

For all my talk and jokes about the "snip snip", I must admit, when we dropped him off this morning and I made eye contact with that sad little orange ball of fluff in his carrier...

I barely made it out to the parking lot before I started bawling at the thought that he was scared, that he thought we'd left him forever.

The Rottenator was his ever understanding, sympathetic self: "I don't know why you're crying; this was your idea".

The only logical response: "I'm crying because you're so stupid".

As a little Birdie recently told me, "Boys are dumb".  And they are.

Well, I'm happy(?) to report that the Nooge is recovering quite nicely from his traumatic experience.  Too well, some may say.

I returned home from work expecting this:

And instead found something quite similar to this awaiting me:
(I really must invest in a new camera and/or phone).

Bottom line, all is well, the Nooge is home in one piece (minus a couple) and now I can get back to concentrate on more important not emotionally eating everything in sight.

Today was not a good day for me.  I may have overloaded MFP with my daily caloric intake.  But that double Whopper with cheese and extra mayo...almost worth it.

My Mood Ring(tone) of the Day:

Sunday, August 5, 2012

The Time Has Come...

Can I get an Amen?

The Rottenator is already having second thoughts; I guess it's some sort of male solidarity, but as the volunteer from the SPCA kindly informed him: "You know there's no scientific proof that says that his are attached to yours, right?"

Oh, how we laughed.  And by we, I mean all four of us women in the room.  The Rottenator was not amused.

Countdown to T-Day has begun!

My Mood Ring(tone) of the Day (NSFW and perhaps offensive to some, as are most things I find hilarious)..

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Sage Advice

Although it is possible to save up enough calories during the day to indulge in a double cheeseburger for dinner, this practice is not recommended.

The side effects are god-awful.  I've been so good at eating well on my diet that I'd forgotten what it felt like to be sick as a dog and full as a tick after ingesting a large, fatty meal.

Hopefully I will not forget this feeling again for a long time.

Friday, August 3, 2012

Family Branches

So, ever since I moved back home and gotten my shit together to a small extent I've been very much feeling the urge to reconnect with my family. Not my immediate family; we're already pretty connected (for better or worse) but my extended family, cousins and whatnot.  Facebook has been good for reconnecting to a certain extent, but it's not quite the same as seeing these people in person and finding out what's been going on with them for the past, oh, I don't know, 30 years.

With that in mind, I'm very much looking forward to a family reunion that my Aunt (my father's sister) is planning for their sister, who is turning 75 later this month.  It will be the first time that my Dad's side of the family has reunited in, oh, I don't know...30 years.

My father passed away in 1984, and when he did, that side of the family, which was never that strong in bonds anyway, all sort of drifted apart.  Some of us managed to keep in touch sporadically, but never with any regularity or substance.  And a part of me has missed that familial closeness.  The joined experiences and inside memories that only family can understand.  Like, tunafish gravy with pancakes, and salad dressing consisting only of mayo and ketchup.

Don't knock tunafish gravy until you've tried it, people.  Just don't try it with syrup.

So, I'm back in the heart of Weavertropolis, and it's giving me warm, fuzzy feelings.  The Rottenator will of course not be participating in this reunion, but that's probably for the best.  It would be understandably awkward and uncomfortable for him, being that he doesn't like crowds, or mankind in general.  In fact, as I have been told numerous times: "I can barely tolerate you and the Nooge...and occasionally your mother".

Nevertheless, I look forward to this reunion, and sitting tucked away in a corner with my sister, and cousins's wives (not Sister Wives, we're not Mormons, people) and perhaps another male and female cousin, gossiping about everyone.

And then gossiping about each other once the reunion is over.  Because we may not be Mormons, but we are defintely still Southern.

My Mood Ring(tone) of the Day (natch):